To think it's not hard to plan a cheap celebration at home??

[SausageFox]

Just got off the phone to my friend. She's very upset. I know Mumsnet isn't a huge fan of birthdays, but please consider this more of a "just one nice day dedicated entirely to her" thing, I suppose?

Anyway. Yesterday was her birthday (40th). Her DH did nothing. Just a card. She's incredibly upset and hurt - for his birthday last year, she pulled out all the stops because she knew turning 40 meant something to him and he wanted to celebrate. I remember her nearly running herself into the ground.

That aside, they're on a budget so whatever celebration she had would have to be cheap and at home. Her DH apparently cannot think of ANYTHING he could do at home. Nothing. Not one thing.

We both came up with the below in about 3 mins

Spa day at home
Afternoon tea
Lunch/brunch in the garden (they have a heated gazebo)
Fancy dinner or nibbly buffet
Board games
Olives and wine at the breakfast bar, all dressed up nicely with some good music on

These were just things off the top of our heads. She knows I'm posting, will send her the link. Is it just us? Surely it's not hard to think of a few nice things to do for a loved one and turn it into a sweet little day and evening?

Thankfully she's coming to mine tomorrow for some wine and cheese, so she'll have some fun. 🥂

Reading these comments is so very heartening. I've sent the thread to my friend and she's going to have a look through; she's an absolute star, and I'm not just saying that because she'll read this. It's hard to come across a person who cares as much about other people as she does, I think. I am furious for her. Thank you to everyone who has validated her in this. She's not a Mumsnetter but I've no doubt reading the way women gang together to lift each other up like this will give her a smile.

You’re both stars! I was restraining my tongue as you said your friend was going to read the thread and I didn’t want to make her feel rubbish about her H, however the effort you describe her going to to make others feel special makes it so extra sad that she doesn’t feel she deserves the same from the one person in her whole world who should love her more than anyone. Doubly shit that HE doesn’t seem to think so.

I’m really glad that she’s got really good friends, enjoy your day tomorrow ladies x

MN gets a bad rap, but it’s one of my favourite places! Forthright, strong women looking out for each other, holding each other up when we need strength, and telling you that you’re being a twat (or you’re H is!) when you need to be told 😂

Have a wonderful day tomorrow xxx

I do think it's odd that he's made some kind of effort to mark her past birthdays but not her 40th. Even if there was no element of surprise involved, you would have thought it would occur to him to have some sort of conversation asking her what she'd like to do to celebrate. Had he forgotten it was her 40th do you think? I'm not particularly bothered about celebrating birthdays but I'd definitely feel disappointed if my DP made less effort for a milestone birthday than he had for previous years.

Hope you both have a lovely day tomorrow.