Dh lack of baby enthusiasm

[practicallyperfect55]

I want to prefix this by saying dh is overall a great husband. He's supportive and helpful and I love him dearly so no LTB comments please. We've been really busy recently with some major home renovations which he has taken the lead on as I'm 35 weeks pregnant. He has no kids and I have 2 from a previous relationship. This pregnancy was discussed and wanted by us both.

Dh has no clue about babies having had none of his own and being an only child so no babies in wider family. He has expressed concerns over not knowing what to do, how to hold them, how to dress them or even how to put a nappy on. I've said many times I will show him but it's never the right time. I've also encouraged him to read certain books which he says he will but again he's usually always too tired at the end of the day. He's only been to one scan with me due to work commitments and covid. Sometimes I will say oh the baby's moving have a feel, and he'll put his hand there for a few seconds and say can't feel anything. He just doesn't seem very enthusiastic.

Yesterday I offered to show him the nappy again but it wasn't the right time and I admit I did get a bit wound up as we are so close to due date now and I think if not now then when? I was quite upset (pregnancy hormones as well) and we haven't spoken much since. He has a lot on his plate but aibu to expect a bit more effort for one of the most important things that will happen in his life? I've told him I won't offer again and he can learn himself which was childish I know.

My DH was the same as yours. I remember trying to get him to read baby books too. Little interest in my scans. DS was born and he was besotted with him. I think he is a better, more patient parent than me. They are best buds (DS is 4) and we are very much equal parents.
I'm due another one soon and DH has shown little interest again. He says he just can't picture the baby

I hadn't changed a nappy or dressed a baby when I had mine. I think I had only held a small baby once in my life prior to having my own. We moved mid way through my first pregnancy, so we didn't attend a single antenatal class. It was fine and I learnt on the job, so to speak. Not exactly rocket science is it?

Also, one of the best tips I got from a friend was not to become the 'baby expert' so I let DH figure out how to do things for himself. Eg He used far more baby wipes than me (!) but just let him get on with it. That meant he became very confident and he's now a SAHD!

I'd only intervene if you see them about to do something dangerous eg baby left alone on sofa, wearing coat in car seat etc. The only time I intervened was for a Calpol dose when he was just going to fill the syringe and squirt it in rather than checking the dose!

Don't worry. In the weeks leading up to my children's births I noticed that my husband got nervy/edgy. I noticed the same with my brothers. I put it down to them being apprehensive about the birth , life changes, and maybe the worry of more responsibility. My DH is a very loving, hands on devoted dad. Don't worry about practicing nappies and reading books if he doesn't want to.He'll learn on the job when he has to. I panicked just before my first was born and bought a stack of books. They're still in the cupboard unread. I hope all goes well for you.

He thinks he doesn't need to learn because you will teach him when the baby arrives.

Tell him it doesn't always pan out this way. My DH thought the same and did absolutely no prep and didn't really listen when I told him where everything was in the baby bag. It came back to bite him when I had to be taken to theatre soon after DC was born (for reasons I won't go into here). DH was left to look after newborn DC and ended up being quite panicked and foolish. The midwives weren't very impressed.

Depends on personality I suppose, and obviously commitment. I think a lot of men think they'll just be chilling as the woman will manage.

DH came to pre natal classes with me, he was not allowed to miss any. He didn't read but watched YouTube tutorials instead from world health organisation/U.K. breastfeeding channels/nappy change tutorial. He did practice on a teddy, as daft as it is as a teddy doesn't suddenly wee/poo all over you 😂

He was great in terms of hands on stuff when DD came, was up for every night breastfeed etc, equal nappy changes when possible. Took extra holiday staggered so he was home more for the first 6 weeks, and he has been hands on since then as he should be. We expect too little from men sometimes.

Although, he is crap at planning and organising but that's my area of expertise. He is great at getting shit done on very little sleep/waking through the night if toddler needs him which I'm shocking at now.