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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I never liked the acronym BAME I wonder how I’m going to be told to define myself now

73 replies

OneDrop · 17/03/2022 03:39

I just read this

www.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/16/uk-government-scrap-bame-response-sewell-race-inquiry

One of my grandparents was Sri Lankan but it was Ceylon when I was little.

I experienced racism at school. And after.

My mother was told she was Black, maybe in the 90s. I think at that time it was if you’re not white you’re Black, we must unite.

I’m sure I was once a Woman of Colour.

I think I’m supposed to be mixed white and Asian. BIPOC.

My child and I now belong to group for families ‘visible by colour’ which we are where we live now. I am grateful for a local Black Voices group which has been welcoming.

Although I identify with much of what I read on Black Mumsnetters I accept I am not Black here.

I don’t know what to think about all these different ways to describe and define who I am.

I do know I am, and have always been Nonwhite.

OP posts:
Rummikub · 17/03/2022 03:56

Agree with you op

Thoosa · 17/03/2022 04:20

I know. It gets exhausting. Keeping up with the changing orthodoxy- about your own identity and others.

I’m an unusual mixed heritage and I gave up playing ball with it all a while ago. BAME is a term I’ve always hated but often had to use at work.

People don’t always notice I’m not white, either, which complicates it all. I sometimes deliberately do hair and make up, even accessories, to be more noticeably one “thing”, just because I don’t have the energy to watch people try to “place me”.

Insomnia ramblings from me now, but I hear you.

lunar1 · 17/03/2022 04:26

I have always hated BAME, but really don't want my children described as 'visible by colour' there has to be something better!

LovelyQuiche · 17/03/2022 04:40

How the term “BAME” ever got traction baffles me

Ozgirl75 · 17/03/2022 05:57

I don’t know why the U.K. (and America?) is so keen on these “inclusive” abbreviations. Why not just say you’re British or British Asian?
I’m in Australia and we seem to go for the country then Australian, so Chinese Australian, Indian Australian, Asian etc, or the newly popular ABC (Australian born Chinese).

Cerealnamechangerer · 17/03/2022 07:05

Just another example of how it's so much easier to be white. White people don't have to worry about this at all.

Didiusfalco · 17/03/2022 07:11

@Cerealnamechangerer

Just another example of how it's so much easier to be white. White people don't have to worry about this at all.
That’s not strictly true, I’m white and it definitely worries me. I don’t want to offend anyone by using the wrong term, and it’s far from clear what the right one is.
edenhills · 17/03/2022 07:16

I've always described myself as brown (mixed Asian heritage).

JanisMoplin · 17/03/2022 07:17

I don't like British Asian either because Asia is a very large continent and it is too catch-all.

balalake · 17/03/2022 07:18

I agree with the sentiment of the OP that changing terms is a minefield. Is this something that the group you belong to OP could discuss?

ThatsNotMyGolem · 17/03/2022 07:18

@Didiusfalco, worrying about offending someone isn't quite the same as worrying you'll be attacked or abused for your race...

CoalCraft · 17/03/2022 07:18

I have no idea why we're not supposed to say non-white. It's what people mean a lot of the time and I can't see why it's offensive.

SantaCarlaCalifornia · 17/03/2022 07:22

@CoalCraft

I have no idea why we're not supposed to say non-white. It's what people mean a lot of the time and I can't see why it's offensive.
How would you like being described by something you're not, such as non-man? I can see why it's easier but I can also understand why it's offensive.

My husband is black and kids are mixed race, he hates BAME but it's gained a lot of traction in a lot of areas for some reason. He'd never use it to describe himself though. He just uses black.

LizzieMacQueen · 17/03/2022 07:23

White people aren't even white though, shades of pink through to grey really. Spectrum of colours just as there'a a spectrum of genders, sexuality, height, weight etc etc.

But agree, glad to see the back of BAME.

FarDownTheRiver · 17/03/2022 07:26

@Ozgirl75

I don’t know why the U.K. (and America?) is so keen on these “inclusive” abbreviations. Why not just say you’re British or British Asian? I’m in Australia and we seem to go for the country then Australian, so Chinese Australian, Indian Australian, Asian etc, or the newly popular ABC (Australian born Chinese).
And are white Australians just Australian? I don’t think I like it - same with African/whatever Americans. Funny how most white Americans are just American
lunar1 · 17/03/2022 07:27

Yep @CoalCraft, we could just say White and for everyone else, OTHERS. That covers it all really.

Do you really think multiple groups of people should be referred to as none white? I'm hoping you realise how offensive that is? It sounds like 'not the master race'

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 17/03/2022 07:30

@Didiusfalco I think you’ve massively both missed and proved the point there!

Porfre · 17/03/2022 07:33

They just want a acceptable term that means non-white.

What they actually mean is non-white, but it isn't acceptable to use the term. So until the find the right term it'll probably keep changing.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 17/03/2022 07:33

@CoalCraft

I have no idea why we're not supposed to say non-white. It's what people mean a lot of the time and I can't see why it's offensive.
It would be right up there with being called a cis woman
Porfre · 17/03/2022 07:35

@lunar1

Yep *@CoalCraft*, we could just say White and for everyone else, OTHERS. That covers it all really.

Do you really think multiple groups of people should be referred to as none white? I'm hoping you realise how offensive that is? It sounds like 'not the master race'

You think its acceptable to Others for a group of people?

So I'm an Other?

Cerealnamechangerer · 17/03/2022 07:36

That’s not strictly true, I’m white and it definitely worries me. I don’t want to offend anyone by using the wrong term, and it’s far from clear what the right one is

You don't have to worry about defining what kind of white you are for the benefit of other people being able to hang a label on you. That's what i mean.

Clymene · 17/03/2022 07:38

I think @lunar1 is being sarcastic @Porfre

AdamRyan · 17/03/2022 07:42

I don't like the term "BAME" as "minority ethnic" is an awful catch all for some big sectors of our society (people with Pakistani heritage for example)

Suzi888 · 17/03/2022 07:42

Didiusfalco

Cerealnamechangerer
Just another example of how it's so much easier to be white. White people don't have to worry about this at all.

That’s not strictly true, I’m white and it definitely worries me. I don’t want to offend anyone by using the wrong term, and it’s far from clear what the right one is.

🤯^ misses point entirely.

KittenKong · 17/03/2022 07:44

It’s a silly catchall. I’m sure it was Black Asian and Middle Eastern before wasnt if?

DH used to get invited to join ‘special’ unions and working groups. He thought it was dumb to try lump everyone in together with the assumption that everyone has in common the same experiences/ backgrounds/ attitudes. There is always one group in any union/organisation who take the lead and squish the others anyway.