AIBU about my daughters christening?

[K673dv]

My husband and I plan to christen our daughter. We booked the christening and had decided prior to that we only wanted our parents, siblings, any surviving grandparents of ours and her godparents so our best friends. I’ve since been informed my dad’s invited his siblings without speaking to me and has gone absolutely wild at me for informing him they aren’t invited. Now, let me give you some context. His siblings and his side of the family generally treated me awfully as a child. Everything was my fault and I was often left out of things and they rarely bothered for my birthdays etc, I never understood what I did to be treated so badly when even my brothers were treated well. My dad never stuck up for me, not once. In fact he once slapped me in the face when I was around 13 for arguing with a cousin and upsetting her. The truth about the argument came out a few days later but he was never sorry he hit me in aid of her. He kindly paid for my wedding, but with that forced me to pay extra to invite his family. One of my cousins was extremely rude to my face at my wedding, another completely ignored me the entire day! He’s now saying he isn’t coming because I’m excluding his family and he’s sick of me trying to keep them from events that I throw. None of them have met my daughter in the 14 weeks she’s been born, they haven’t so much as asked me about her. I really don’t want them there, am I being unreasonable with this?

He’s now saying he isn’t coming

The rubbish took itself out. Good.

From now on try to work on your relationship with yourself, your child and your mum. Ignore the abusive arseholes on your dad's side. Including him.

Good for you. Show your Dad that a good parent protects their child.

It’s really hard being the family scapegoat to an unpleasant man. Your mum sounds lovely and caring so you will need to nurture that relationship however you are able.

Now is exactly the time to make a stand. You are the parent now and he is no longer in charge. He’s going to go wild with rage and use every manipulative trick in the book. Good on you for not falling for it.

Time to make your family memories and grow your little family without him in the frame.

Baptisms are free of charge assuming c of e, if your dad wants them to come, invite them to the baptism. The private party afterwards is separate and only invite the people you want. You can't actually stop them from attending the church by the way, same for weddings and funerals - it's a question I often get with complicated family dynamics because I work for the c of e

if your dad wants them to come, invite them to the baptism

Why? To please her abusive father?

Stick to your plans. Echo the earlier poster who said you find you can't tolerate for your child what you tolerated for yourself.

Do think carefully if you want either of your parents as part of your dds life, your mum might just be very weak.

If you wanted to go nuclear you could contact your dad's family directly and tell them they arent welcome due to how badly they treated you as a child and you don't want anything to do with them.