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Original poster

To think it isn't right to have birthday party before birthday

51 replies

aplacecalledvertigo · 16/03/2022 10:01

My DS's first birthday falls on a Thursday and we want to have a family birthday party to celebrate.

The weekend after isn't convenient so were thinking of doing it the Sunday before (so 4 days before his birthday).

Something just feels wrong though about having his party before, rather than after, his birthday. I can't put my finger on why, I might be overthinking it! What do you think?

OP posts:
LutherRalph1 · 16/03/2022 10:06

Majorly overthinking

RandomBasic · 16/03/2022 10:06

For a one year old all you need is a cake and some balloons. It can be done in ten minutes. Do it on the day and have the family there by zoom.

In 2 weeks have a family get together.

The uncomfortableness is the same as people who don't prepare a nursery before the baby actually comes home.

Waitingwaiting3 · 16/03/2022 10:06

You’re absolutely overthinking it! No problem that I can see.

SartresSoul · 16/03/2022 10:08

Always had parties before my DC’s birthday if their birthday falls on a week day, never thought twice about it.

girlmom21 · 16/03/2022 10:09

Your one year old won't know the difference. Any older and they'll understand.

Original poster
aplacecalledvertigo · 16/03/2022 10:09

@RandomBasic

For a one year old all you need is a cake and some balloons. It can be done in ten minutes. Do it on the day and have the family there by zoom.

In 2 weeks have a family get together.

The uncomfortableness is the same as people who don't prepare a nursery before the baby actually comes home.

I know that the party is as much for me as it is for him, but we do really want to have a proper party for him! Cake and balloons will definitely feature Grin plus lots of family that adore him!
OP posts:
SnowyPetals · 16/03/2022 10:13

My DS has his birthday in the summer holidays. He has his party about four weeks before his birthday every year because otherwise nobody can come!

DefiniteTortoise · 16/03/2022 10:14

I'm with you OP, it feels like tempting fate to celebrate a milestone before it arrives. We have to do DS1's party 3 days ahead of time this year and I am reluctant. It's that or 2 weeks late though, so

InTheInterestBadgeKnow · 16/03/2022 10:18

DDs having her 8th birthday party the weekend before her birthday as it's when I can get the hall and it's when I'm off work and she's not with her dad.

She can't wait, says it spreads the celebration out for longer.

ReadyToMoveIt · 16/03/2022 10:19

It’s absolutely fine. Tempting fate is absolutely bollocks and actually a bit offensive… if someone celebrated their birthday before the day and then a tragedy happened and they didn’t make it to their birthday, would you say it was their own fault for tempting fate?
One of my children‘s birthdays falls in the first week of the school summer holidays so we always celebrate early and loads of people go away on holiday that week.

Chocomelon · 16/03/2022 10:23

Culturally I was raised to believe it's bad luck to have a party before the birthday so I have never done it

MCP86 · 16/03/2022 11:59

I get what you're saying. I've never been keen on celebrating something that hasn't happened yet.
Nothing to do with tempting fate though.

irregularegular · 16/03/2022 12:03

Definitely over thinking! I'm sure we have had lots of birthday parties the weekend before a birthday over the years.

Throwntothewolves · 16/03/2022 12:11

You're going to have a big problem dealing with this when DC is at school if it's such a concern now! Pick a day everyone can make it and do it then. Or do it on their birthday and accept some can't come because of work etc.

lljkk · 16/03/2022 12:11

In my culture early/late celebration is fine. Also allowed to open cards & presents early/late.

Same for Christmas. omg, this worship of the sacred single specific date does my head in. It's the concept you celebrate, not a strictly defined "achievement".

ThePlantsitter · 16/03/2022 12:15

Overthinking. You can change it if you want, but I'm 100% sure that no one else is going to give it a second thought.

SparkleSpangle · 16/03/2022 12:15

DHs 50th falls on a Sunday. We will be having a party the day before. The weekend after is my birthday anyway.

Maybe different with adults but I never even though it could e seen as weird doing it one day early instead of 6 days late.

Brefugee · 16/03/2022 12:25

Germans consider it unlucky and over here you'd get people telling you to wait 2 weeks or so if your only option was before.
However for SparkleSpangle's partner it would be fine, because assuming the party goes past midnight, you're celebrating into your birthday. Just don't mention it until after midnight Grin

ThePlantsitter · 16/03/2022 12:26

@brefugee 's comment has made me only 75% sure nobody will give it a second thought. Still good odds.

ReadyToMoveIt · 16/03/2022 12:28

[quote ThePlantsitter]@brefugee 's comment has made me only 75% sure nobody will give it a second thought. Still good odds.[/quote]
I think if anyone does give it a second thought, they don’t much else going on in their lives!

Thatswhyimacat · 16/03/2022 12:29

I do get what you mean, it feels weirder to celebrate a birthday that hasn't happened yet than one in the past. Not that I think it should stop you, it really doesn't matter.

Brefugee · 16/03/2022 12:33

I've been here for most of my life and it is one thing that i will always make fun of, but in a very light way because Germans really do think it's tempting fate.
So I guess as long as you don't invite any Germans, and if you do you don't tell them when the actual birthday is, you'll be fine.

DameHelena · 16/03/2022 12:39

I know what you mean. I hadn't actually thought of it as tempting fate, though, I just think it feels weird. My DP likes a big birthday party and when his actual birthday is in the week, always does it the weekend after. Before would be odd.
For a one-year-old I think I'd feel a bit more relaxed about it; although having said that, his birthday being on a Thursday makes the weekend after an even more obvious choice, IMO. Is there no time at all that weekend that people could do?

KatherineofGaunt · 16/03/2022 12:42

My son's birthday is at Christmas, so we always have a party beforehand. It never occurred to me it wasn't "right".

DoWhatYouLike · 16/03/2022 13:49

You could have the party any day of the year - your child is one, too young to know what's what.

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