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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it isn't right to have birthday party before birthday

51 replies

aplacecalledvertigo · 16/03/2022 10:01

My DS's first birthday falls on a Thursday and we want to have a family birthday party to celebrate.

The weekend after isn't convenient so were thinking of doing it the Sunday before (so 4 days before his birthday).

Something just feels wrong though about having his party before, rather than after, his birthday. I can't put my finger on why, I might be overthinking it! What do you think?

OP posts:
Everydaydayisaschoolday · 16/03/2022 14:19

Absolutely overthinking.

DockOTheBay · 16/03/2022 14:25

I don't think anyone will notice or care. Makes more sense than having the party weeks after the birthday because you're busy the closest weekend after

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/03/2022 14:30

Two years ago if I had organised DDs party for the Saturday before her birthday she would have had one. I chose the Saturday after... and it couldn't as lockdiwn happened. Big regret.

She had her party before her birthday this year. Just have it when convenient.

youdoyoutoday · 16/03/2022 14:32

Majorly overthinking this

garythesnail · 16/03/2022 14:34

I find it a bit odd celebrating something that hasn't happened yet tbh.
I am actually planning my own DS's party early this year though so I'll just have to get over it!

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2022 14:34

Lol. My dd will same the same

She 4. 5 in two weeks

I was going to do party weekend before her birthday but she said mummy I can’t have a 5th birthday party if I’m 4

I get her logic. Couldn’t argue with it

So party is week end after her birthday

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2022 14:36

*say

Wish could edit sometimes

BiscuitLover3678 · 16/03/2022 14:38

Actually having it after is a bit weirder as it’s not their birthday anymore. People rarely celebrate on the actual day, but you’ll still do a special happy birthday and a few presents just us on the actual day.

Cindie943811A · 16/03/2022 14:43

Funny how a simple old superstition can have such a cultural hold over so many people. I’m not mocking anyone here because I also have this feeling ingrained in me. This same “belief” is the reason one knocks on wood.
However, to rationalise the situations: if someone I organised an early party did not make it to the special date I could not reasonably support that the party caused the event and would, I hope, rejoice in the fact that the special person had not missed out on the enjoyment a party brings

GlitteryGreen · 16/03/2022 14:44

I can relate a bit OP, I am always a bit funny about gifts being opened prior to birthdays/Christmas as I feel like waiting for that special day to arrive is a big part of the anticipation and excitement.

However, as he's only going to be 1, I really wouldn't worry too much this year. It can always be something you plan in advance for in the future and let people know well in advance that the party will be the weekend after his birthday.

ChoiceMummy · 16/03/2022 14:45

@aplacecalledvertigo

My DS's first birthday falls on a Thursday and we want to have a family birthday party to celebrate.

The weekend after isn't convenient so were thinking of doing it the Sunday before (so 4 days before his birthday).

Something just feels wrong though about having his party before, rather than after, his birthday. I can't put my finger on why, I might be overthinking it! What do you think?

Why isn't the weekend after convenient?

I personally, have done all of my child's parties on the day. But have been lucky to have family willing to facilitate this. (and we do for everyone's).

Crunchymum · 16/03/2022 14:46

Why can't you do it the Saturday after?

Crunchymum · 16/03/2022 14:47

I mean, why can't you do it that weekend directly after the birthday?

DetailMouse · 16/03/2022 14:47

I agree with you OP, it just feels wrong.

I wonder if it's something about tempting fate by assuming that we'll reach our next birthday which is never a given.

I mean obviously, that's nonsense but it seems a bit presumptuous to celebrate a birthday that hasn't happened yet.

ReadyToMoveIt · 16/03/2022 15:01

@DetailMouse

I agree with you OP, it just feels wrong.

I wonder if it's something about tempting fate by assuming that we'll reach our next birthday which is never a given.

I mean obviously, that's nonsense but it seems a bit presumptuous to celebrate a birthday that hasn't happened yet.

If you’re not going to reach your next birthday, surely it’s better to go out having had fun at a party? Honestly this is madness Grin. Have the party whenever it’s convenient to have the party.
Brefugee · 16/03/2022 15:24

However, to rationalise the situations: if someone I organised an early party did not make it to the special date I could not reasonably support that the party caused the event and would, I hope, rejoice in the fact that the special person had not missed out on the enjoyment a party brings

ohhh that's a lovely point, thanks!

I keep thinking with all this talk of the jubilee etc, what if the Queen dies before hand? I mean, i hope she doesn't, but it's got to be a consideration

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2022 15:49

What are you doing weekend after @aplacecalledvertigo

MaryShelley1818 · 16/03/2022 16:17

I always do the party the weekend before if it falls on a weekday. I thought that was the norm. Don't know anyone who does it after the Birthday has already been and gone.

nearlyspringyay · 16/03/2022 16:25

Dts are august. We have their party before they break up from school. Otherwise kids almost a whole year older are having theirs in September and it all gets very confusing!

ISmellBurnings · 16/03/2022 17:06

One of my DC has an august birthday. If we didn’t hold a party early, before the school holidays, then no one would come.

When they’re at school none of this matters.

leiaskye · 16/03/2022 18:26

Last summer was my 50th, & my daughters birthday is 8 days later.

My friends are her friends’ parents, we had a joint party, 4 days early for me & 12 days early for her. If we’d have waited til the day, there would have been less people there as it’s in the middle of peak holidays season.

Please don’t overthink this, it’s really not important.

Himawarigirl · 16/03/2022 18:33

I know it’s stupid and kind of morbid but I can’t bring myself to do this, it feels like tempting fate. But my husband and in laws (and most other people) think I’m mad. Their logic is ‘well, if I’m not going to make it to my birthday anyway it’s better that I had a great party right before the end’. That also makes sense, but still…it’s just one of those things I feel weird about.

AHungryCaterpillar · 16/03/2022 18:36

I kind of get you, I have two children one born on the 22nd of March one on the 25, I’m celebrating the 22nd on the weekend before and the 25 on the weekend acted as my kids are a boy and a girl so they don’t want to have a joint day as they are not into the same things. But I don’t like celebrating before the birthday but going to have to.

SleeplessInEngland · 16/03/2022 18:46

It’s absolutely fine to have a party a few days early and it’s ludicrous to suggest it isn’t.

balalake · 16/03/2022 19:17

Seems reasonable to me, assuming the reason for the following weekend being not available is something genuine.

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