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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm right and the doctors are wrong?

360 replies

Rabbitpoop · 15/03/2022 15:40

DD is 13yo and has had really bad nausea and stomach ache for 10 days. Shes been off school the whole time and very little appetite. GP thought it was appendix related so sent us to hospital. First surgeon admitted us and said seems like appendix as she only has pain in the exact area of the appendix. Put us on the list for surgery.

Saw another surgeon who said he wanted an ultrasound first. Fair enough. They couldn't see her appendix during the scan but no obvious signs of anything else wrong so surgeon passed us to paeds.

Paediatrician came in and said it is constipation before he even examined her. She isn't constipated at all and the pain is only on the bottom right side in a specific area. I questioned him and pushed back quite a lot as I'm 100% sure this is not constipation. She's had no change in her bowel movements. Paeds said there's no sign of appendicitis in her blood tests so it's unlikely to be appendicitis.

I looked up the NICE guidelines and it says that you can't rule out appendicitis by blood test or ultrasound and that it can present differently in different people. It seems the only real way of telling is laparoscopy/surgery but the surgeons won't do it as she's not writhing in pain.

I don't know what to do. I'm sure it's not constipation and that it's something to do with her appendix. They said they wouldn't give antibiotics either as there's no sign of infection.

I'm worried they're just going to tell us to go home and she'll continue to be off school, feeling sick, barely eating and with a stomach ache.

Any advice?

OP posts:
EgonSpengler2020 · 16/03/2022 20:25

If she's generally well (ie no signs of infection), do you really want her to undergo, what is likely to be, unnecessary surgery with all the associated risks and pain.

Ask them how they are going to manage your daughters symptoms going forwards, and keep a close eye on her, and then wait and see how things develop.

Legalconundrums · 16/03/2022 20:26

Can they not give her some sponge 'lollipops' moistened with water to keep her mouth hydrated ? This is truly shocking

Bytrgrewd · 16/03/2022 20:46

Your poor dc. Hope you get answers soon.

QueenofLouisiana · 16/03/2022 20:53

Just to say that DS was diagnosed with a UTI which turned out to be a burst appendix. In fact I was told that it would be best to have him circumcised as this would help the problem (this was not in the UK). Needless to say, when we found out what the issue actually was, we felt circumcision was absolutely not something I was going to consider. He was treated conservatively, with a week in hospital on high doses of antibiotics. No operation. Nearly 14 years later, there has never been another concern.

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 16/03/2022 20:54

Sorry to hear about this OP, hopefully the laparoscopy will show the problem, have they given her any pain relief or put a cannula in? Very unreasonable to expect her to be NBM for so long!

Orangelover · 16/03/2022 20:54

I used to work in general surgery admissions and it was my understanding they don't do the ultrasound scan to look for the appendix as it often can't be seen on ultrasound, they do it to rule out any other cause - usually gynae/ovaries etc. They didn't often perform USS on suspected appendixes in men for this reason.

When you're waiting for an operation like this they usually put you on the emergency list which they actually decide who they're taking to theatre next case by case depending on who is sickest at that time. So if obs are stable etc you'll be waiting longer. I used to deal with lots of irate patients who'd been told to come in for 8am starved who then had to wait all day. We did usually cannulate them and give them fluids though, but if we were really busy they'd have a bag of IV fluid up in the waiting room BlushSad They used to continue the emergency list up until midnight usually though.

Original poster
Rabbitpoop · 16/03/2022 20:59

@EgonSpengler2020

If she's generally well (ie no signs of infection), do you really want her to undergo, what is likely to be, unnecessary surgery with all the associated risks and pain.

Ask them how they are going to manage your daughters symptoms going forwards, and keep a close eye on her, and then wait and see how things develop.

No of course I don't want her to have unnecessary surgery. But not one doctor, nurse or other person has sat down and listened and taken her full history and said anything that makes any sense. It feels like I'm screaming and no one is listening. Last night we were told that they would do the surgery because the pain is persistent even though the bloods are fine. So we arrive this morning nil by mouth expecting surgery. Only to sit in a waiting room for 9 hours with no or contradictory information, nil by mouth. Told twice by a nurse to go home. No discussion or explanation.

I am so worried surgery is the wrong thing but I feel completely powerless as either I take her home and leave her in pain (now 11 days) or push for the surgery and all that entails.

OP posts:
TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 16/03/2022 21:03

Dear Lord OP, I have never heard of such a farce, the whole thing is disgusting. I am so sorry for you and your poor DD. If you haven't been already can you start writing down the name of every nurse, Dr, Surgeon, sonographer, ward manager, ward sister, health care assistant, and where you were when they were talking to you, and the salient points that they were making. Also note down all instructions given to your DD eg nil by mouth, and from what time?

If she is now not going to be operated on until 9.00am tomorrow morning, then ask if she can have a meal now, and a large drink, although I hope that as soon as they said that she wouldn't be operated on until tomorrow they gave her a meal, and told her to drink plenty of water. Unfortunately from what you have already told us I don't like the sound of that hospital at all. You are being amazing OP, all the best Dr's know to trust a mother's intuition,even if it turns out to not be her appendix, they should not be sending her home until they find out what it is.

Oh. just to add, you do need to eat and drink something yourself OP. If you are on a ward now they should at least have offered you some cups of tea and a sandwich or toast. If you have to, get a takeaway delivery down to main reception and pop down to pick it up. You need to keep your strength up! 💐💐

Andacherryonthetop · 16/03/2022 21:04

I would definitely go for the surgery if you can get it for her. Otherwise you might end up starting the entire process again. I know the nhs is struggling but that is some shocking communication between the surgeon and the ward. Is your dd ok? Has she had anything to eat or drink because she is surely going to be struggling if not?

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 16/03/2022 21:06

I’d go and find someone and ask if she can have any food or drink. At least some water.

whatisheupto · 16/03/2022 21:12

Personally at this stage I'd be giving her food and drink regardless. I bet surgery won't be magically taking place tomorrow morning. At least you're admitted now but I'd be prepared for another day of tests etc. before any surgery. So get some food and drink in her now and then start the fasting. I wouldn't bother asking.... sounds like no one has a clue and they have probably admitted you without anyone really knowing exactly what your path of care is yet.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 16/03/2022 21:14

My Dd had a similar issue just before Xmas. She kept collapsing in school with stomach pain. Gp checked and she had none of the classic appendix symptoms and we were at a complete loss. Then (it was Xmas time) she forgot to eat her chocolate behind the date on her advent calendar and for the first time in ages she had no stomach pain on the bus to school. Over the next week or so she cut out more dairy and is now dairy free and no more stomach pain. She had a lot of colic as a baby too.

ISmellBurnings · 16/03/2022 21:15

If she’s not going until tomorrow then she should be able to eat and drink tonight. If she’s being kept nil by mouth she should have a cannula and some fluids. You should be able to nip off and get some food. Depends what their rules are. We currently allow one parent in and they can go off the ward. Still no visitors due to covid.

seperatedmum · 16/03/2022 21:27

just to add my good wishes @Rabbitpoop love to your DD I'll be thinking about you both

Original poster
Rabbitpoop · 16/03/2022 21:30

I haven't been able to leave the room as I haven't wanted to miss the doctor coming as has been promised all day. I have got her some biscuits and crisps from the healthcare assistant or whatever they're called. I'm sure she's dehydrated after 48hrs mostly nil by mouth and I've got jet some water but she's not drinking much of it. There is no change in the pain having not been eating so I don't think it can be anything food related. The pain hasn't moved at all in at least 7 days, it's in the exact same place, exactly where the appendix is.

OP posts:
fairgame84 · 16/03/2022 21:34

I doubt you will see the surgeon until the morning now when they come to mark and consent her. Get her something decent to eat because if she's on the emergency list tomorrow, she might be waiting all day if more urgent cases come in.

Tiddlesthecat · 16/03/2022 22:29

Well hopefully you will get to the bottom of it. Unfortunately Drs often fail to explain their reasoning behind their decisions and what they have considered and ruled out. I'm sure that there will have been evidence and logic behind their decision making, but they have failed to properly explain things to you. Sadly this is common due to understaffing/shift changes and changes to surgery schedules due to priorities shifting. Hope that you at least get some rest now and that all goes to plan tomorrow.

GabriellaMontez · 16/03/2022 22:52

You've been really let down. Very poor communication.

Honestly they haven't inspired confidence and I wouldn't trust them. If they were happy to discharge her in the morning I'd take her home then make a plan that didn't involve this hospital.

Peanutssuck · 16/03/2022 23:17

Calprotectin is the test they do on the faeces. The normal marker is 51. Anything over that shows infection. I'm really sorry you're going through this

WTF475878237NC · 17/03/2022 04:03

Please do not consent to this surgery without asking that they test for h pylori. You really need to advocate for this child. Have you spoken to PALS? Phone them from the ward if you don't want to leave her. Ask to speak to the matron etc.

lunar1 · 17/03/2022 04:20

My DS had exactly these symptoms with the exception that there was significant inflammation on his scans exactly where the appendix is. All his blood work was mostly normal though.

He was admitted for three days and prepped for surgery twice but because of the blood tests he never went for the op.

They diagnosed adenitis, which is disappointing as you just have to wait it out. It did resolve and has never come back.

Soulstirring · 17/03/2022 04:40

Fingers crossed for the morning, hope you both managed to sleep

OutlookStalking · 17/03/2022 05:12

Good luck

Itsallok · 17/03/2022 05:37

hope it all goes well

sazzy5 · 17/03/2022 05:52

Your poor daughter, you must be so tired and fed up.
I had a grumbling appendix, undiagnosed and told it was IBS for about 18 months. I was like your daughter and didn’t make much fuss, I was so embarrassed when I got intense pain as I thought I was dealing with IBS. My bloods showed nothing either but my appendix was up by my belly button when they did the CT scan. They also looked for diverticulitis as that is similar with sickness etc.
I hope you get some answers soon.