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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the mums on IG are wrong

46 replies

NC2123 · 15/03/2022 14:41

I came off social media for a few years but made an Instagram account a few months ago.

Iv never seen people share SO much of their life and their child's, public accounts posting their children in the bath thinking a sticker covering their private parts is good enough!

And then their is the mum's that literally moan constantly about their children and how hard life is!

I think the worst iv seen is the same account constantly shaming her child for having meltdowns and tantrums when she takes her out she literally takes pictures and videos of her on the floor crying and post's them with a sentence about how horrible shes been and how she even cried with her Confused

Is this what it has come to now, I'm so confused why parents think this is acceptable.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 15/03/2022 14:46

You are not wrong.
It’s horrendous and shows a massive lack of insight as well as skewed sense of values. I really hate objectification of anyone, but children especially.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 15/03/2022 14:49

I agree. I've seen so many accounts where they post everything their child does or says and I can't help wondering how the kids will feel about this in the future. You see some of them saying "ah they love it, they beg me to film and post it" but the child doesn't know any different. And then you get the ones who are crying and screaming at their parent to stop filming while the parent sits their laughing.

Maybe it's just my age but I don't get it

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 15/03/2022 14:50

*there Blush

BiscuitLover3678 · 15/03/2022 14:51

Yeah it’s really not great. I do wonder what the backlash will be like when these kids are older.

Vitani · 15/03/2022 14:54

YANBU.

I post the off few pics of DD, sometimes something funny she said, but I don't post these regularly, not even weekly or monthly. I don't share pictures of her in the bath, sick, angry, or sad, just ones where we've been out and done something she there are a couple she looks really happy in.

But, what's weird is, I see other mums sharing so much more and it actually guilts me!? Like somehow I care less because I don't have mine plastered everywhere? Shock

I remember one of my friends said once "Oh, so-and-so used to always post pics of their kids when they were babies but now they are older they are hardly ever shown, it's like they are bored of them now".

So I think sometimes I feel that's how others think of me.

LittleGwyneth · 15/03/2022 14:54

I increasingly think that showing your kids online shouldn't be allowed unless they're of the age to use the site themselves and have agreed to it. I'm very supportive of influencers career choices, and I fully respect that they can and should share any personal details they want about their own lives. But children can't consent to being online, or having personal details shared about their health, childhood, behaviour etc.

Vitani · 15/03/2022 14:56

My account is private also so only those I accept to follow me can see anything.

MarshaBradyo · 15/03/2022 14:57

Yanbu at all

The best thing for anyone to do is unfollow

itisyourbirthdayKelly · 15/03/2022 14:59

It’s really vile.

But they will just be tying to get likes and follows probably. Those early lot of “instamums” have a lot to answer for because people copied them thinking of they shared everything about themselves and their children, they too would become well known.

I have a private account with 20 people that I have known most of my life abs don’t post anything I wouldn’t text them anyway.

incognitoforthisone · 15/03/2022 15:00

I'm not a fan either. But I also don't follow stuff I don't like on social media.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 15/03/2022 15:02

@incognitoforthisone

I'm not a fan either. But I also don't follow stuff I don't like on social media.
You don't need to follow them though. I scroll through Instagram reels and see them there so they're obviously not set to private
Mybestyear · 15/03/2022 15:03

YANBU. I just browse IG on the bus to work but I now follow a couple of people who just appeared on the home page who are just regular people and a couple whose IG is their job so to speak. It's like watching a road accident - I can't stop myself even though I am aghast at what they post. Their kids must get ribbed endlessly at school etc about it. There is one 'high profile' woman in particular who always has her kids gurning away like idiots while she does some ad or another. To be fair she seems like a nice enough person, but she gets so much abuse on tattle life (I only stumbled on that during the Clemmy mother of daughters debacle but what a horrible horrible website that is!). It's such a different way of acting to what I consider 'normal' behaviour. It's truly mind boggling that people cannot see the potential harm they are doing to their DC.

Original poster
NC2123 · 15/03/2022 15:05

@Vitani please don't think like that if anything you're showing respect for your child as they get older and become there own person!

I was a very naive teenager when I got with my DH he taught me how wrong the stuff people posted on SM was and when we announced our first baby on fb and people from our past kept trying to add us we decided it was time to get rid.

We also don't allow our family to post our DC on social media as they don't have fully private accounts and I actually know my own dad has an old family friend on his facebook who is definitely a Paedophile Sad

It makes me so sad imagine if they realised those kinds of people are watching their page to see their child, if you have 5K followers there is no chance in hell you know all those accounts are real!

OP posts:
SauceGirl · 15/03/2022 15:05

You don't have to look you know. There's loads of stuff on SM that I dislike so I jut don't follow them. No point winding yourself up about it.

itisyourbirthdayKelly · 15/03/2022 15:06

@Mybestyear

YANBU. I just browse IG on the bus to work but I now follow a couple of people who just appeared on the home page who are just regular people and a couple whose IG is their job so to speak. It's like watching a road accident - I can't stop myself even though I am aghast at what they post. Their kids must get ribbed endlessly at school etc about it. There is one 'high profile' woman in particular who always has her kids gurning away like idiots while she does some ad or another. To be fair she seems like a nice enough person, but she gets so much abuse on tattle life (I only stumbled on that during the Clemmy mother of daughters debacle but what a horrible horrible website that is!). It's such a different way of acting to what I consider 'normal' behaviour. It's truly mind boggling that people cannot see the potential harm they are doing to their DC.
It’s sad that I know exactly who you are talking about from your brief description of what she makes her kids do.
Momicrone · 15/03/2022 15:06

I've never seen this stuff

TheFairyCaravan · 15/03/2022 15:06

I think there is going to be a huge fall out wrt children having their lives shared on line. Some of them are shared fresh out of the womb, before the cord has been cut, because it brings in money and likes for their parents. There seems to be no thought or consideration for their children’s future mental health.

At least child actors and models have regulations over how much they can work.

AbsentmindedWoman · 15/03/2022 15:08

It's psychologically abusive, frankly.

Children have a right to privacy.

honeyytoast · 15/03/2022 15:09

There is a tiktok account @ riadaaraes who posts really good videos about the dangers of “sharenting”, I’m not a parent but it is still terrifying and very eye opening. Basically sharing even the most innocent photos of your child is dangerous - a German documentary showed how awful websites on the deep web (you can imagine) had taken such photos from influencers and normal parents’ accounts and uploaded/edited and commented on them in horrific ways. It really shouldn’t be underestimated. Take as many photos of your kids as you like but no need to share them publicly :(

youhadmeatjello · 15/03/2022 15:09

Agree. There’s one family account in particular - well it’s the dads account - and I swear he posts his kids in suggestive poses. Also shows really personal and private moments constantly. It makes me feel sick. Unfollowed immediately but I worry about those children.

irishfarmer · 15/03/2022 15:10

I watched a video the other day of a 3 yr old girl pretending to take selfies, posing with a duck pout etc. Mum was laughing away all I could think is where did she pick that up I wonder? And what are you teaching your 3 yr old.

(I didn't search for a video like that it came up on tik tok)

Original poster
NC2123 · 15/03/2022 15:11

@incognitoforthisone

I'm not a fan either. But I also don't follow stuff I don't like on social media.
Most of the stuff I see is on the for you page, I was looking at a breast pump page the other day and stumbled across an influencer on there, boobs out for a breast pump ad and pubes on show promoting c-sections and mental health.

Imagine if that was your mum and people found those post's when your in high school Confused

OP posts:
blockbustervideo · 15/03/2022 15:11

YANBU. Embarrassing for the mum and the child/ren involved. Imagine when those kids grow up and see what their mum has been posting about them.

PleaseBeSeated · 15/03/2022 15:13

But why are you looking at any of this? My Instagram feed consists pretty much entirely of art, artists, choreographers, and photos of falling down rural houses.

nearlyspringyay · 15/03/2022 15:18

Don't follow / look. I don't. There are plenty of them that mange 'the gram' without ever showing the kids.

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