Child Refugees Only?

[OurHouseInTheMiddleOfTheStreet]

Posting here for traffic, apologies if it’s been asked before…

We don’t have the space to take in a Ukrainian family, we also have three very young children to consider. That said, we would like to help if we can.

Is it possible to take in a child only ie someone that has been orphaned?

Would ages be taken into consideration?
For example, a child of similar age to DC would probably settle better in our home than a teenager?

I don’t want to sound as though as though I’m cherry picking but it’s a bit commitment.

Thanks.

I wonder whether any unaccompanied minors would actually be best housed with another refugee family who are happy to take them on, with support from fostering services. A refugee mother would have the language and more experience of what they've gone through, which might be more use than previous fostering experience.

Dreadful idea. Do you speak Ukrainian? A lone child would feel so lost in a foreign country, they need adults around them who can understand their language.

Why not a mother and child rather than just a child? At present no males over 18 are allowed to leave Ukraine so really a parent and child will be easier than just a child.

There’s a huge shortage of foster carers, the idea that unaccompanied minors from wars are placed with “specialist” foster carers is fantasy. They’ll go where there is space for them.

Perhaps wait and see what the details of the government scheme are OP?

Really kind thought OP.

But the children will be placed with approved foster carers and it takes a few months to go through that process.

I think some people, albeit well intentioned, think that taking on a child refugee/orphan will be like the WW2 evacuees coming to stay for a few months when they literally dumped them with anyone in the quiet, quaint villages. Thankfully times have moved on.

I saw a charity worker on TV at the weekend, they aim to keep orphaned children together with their carers. Gives them stability and no problem with languages. I think she said one orphanage was sending 40 something children with their house mothers.

It sounds sensible to me, a traumatised, orphaned child being evacuated to another country is enough to cope with, keeping them with their friends and carers sounds compassionate.

Thank you, I probably am being naive.

I suppose I’ve always wanted to foster when DC are older but everything that’s going on in the world has made me feel the need to do it sooner.

There’s no drip feed, I do have a background with young children but nothing beyond being a TA.

I think the place to start is just going down the usual foster carer route. I would really like to help any child, not just those coming from Ukraine.

I would advise getting in touch with your local authority. There is always a need for foster carers, and they would be able to identify who you are best placed to help, based on your current situation

Their actually are some unaccompanied children coming through. Where we live they are already being filtered into host families

Most are teenagers, who’s parents for various reasons have chosen to stay behind for now.
It will mainly be in cities though, housed in pairs, and they will be linked with others similar and go daily to a ‘school’ with translators etc.

If you want to help, you could donate to lumos. They're working to help orphans in ukraine and jk Rowling is matching donations up to a million pounds. If you've got the funds to take on a child then your money could do so much more on the ground and help many more children.

Fucking hell - these threads are getting completly ridiculous.

@CannaBelieve

Why not a teen?

I can give you a very long list of why nots if you'd like. Having worked with unaccompanied minors including teens.

The first on my list is the very real risk of abuse to the younger children.

This article really upset me today:
www.theguardian.com/global-development/2022/mar/12/children-going-missing-amid-chaos-at-ukraine-border-report-aid-groups-refugees

There is no way of knowing how many unaccompanied children there are and how many have gone missing. It must be absolutely awful for the parents to let a child do that kind of journey on their own across a war torn country. I just can't comprehend it.

I am going to say having heard all the celebrities and such talking about opening up their homes etc all over the weekend. I suspect very few of them even though they probably have more than one home would do any such thing. These threads are getting silly now. People demanding that 2nd home owners houses are taken over to house the refugees, Buck House taken as well. All generally just complete rubbish from people who say I would but for (insert very good reason) they cant but everyone else should.

I have donated money because hopefully it will be used effectively but people virtue signalling behind a key board is getting tiresome.

£350 per month to take on some refugees wont even touch the sides.

@PrtScn

This article really upset me today: www.theguardian.com/global-development/2022/mar/12/children-going-missing-amid-chaos-at-ukraine-border-report-aid-groups-refugees

There is no way of knowing how many unaccompanied children there are and how many have gone missing. It must be absolutely awful for the parents to let a child do that kind of journey on their own across a war torn country. I just can't comprehend it.

If that's the best course of action in the parents' view, why wouldn't they do it? As others have said men are expected to stay and to try to kill the Russians, therefore a single father might legitimately see sending their child away alone a safer alternative then them remaining in a war zone.

To me it's the same kind of desperation that sees parents dropping their child out of the window of a burning building - their choice is let the child burn to death, or throw them out and hope that someone catches them.

It's not a nice choice in either case - just picking whichever option seems safer (relatively) at the time.

Gosh the op was only trying to help! If it’s death or the op then probably the op is the sound option!!

Of course there will have to be some sort of checks not sure how LAs will manage though since they can’t manage things in a timely manner as it is!

How lovely of you OP to want to help. Perhaps they could line up some children for you to pick which one would suit your household.

Why not a teen…I didn’t think a teenager would particularly enjoy three young children pestering them all day. I thought a child of a similar age might enjoy their company more. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

@Theblacksheepandme
I’ve specifically said that isn’t what I’m talking about. Do you not think that agencies look at matching children to the right environment or do you think they just stick any child in any placement.

As I’ve said previously, I was being naive but want to help. We have donated what we can. I will look into being a foster carer to any child through my LA.

Thank you for those with constructive answers. Shame women on here are so quick to tear others down.

We were foster carers for years. It took about 6 months to be approved. There is a huge shortage of carers. Get the ball rolling now and good luck

@OurHouseInTheMiddleOfTheStreet: sounds like you are coming from a really good place, want to help, & are thinking realistically about how to do that, so IGNORE some of the comments on this thread

I personally am not in a position to offer a home: so I have donated money instead - it all helps

Sounds like a predators dream to be honest if we can just select orphans to save.

You could try contacting Tact Fostering, who can place unaccompanied minors with foster families. There's a vetting process etc.

@DespairingHomeowner @HappeeinParis

@Heartburnkillingme
I hope that isn’t an accusation…
It’s not a case of selecting. I have you consider not only which foster child would feel most comfortable in my home but also what age child my own children would feel comfortable with too. Again, I can’t see a 15yo enjoying the company of a 3yo.

Sorry, @DespairingHomeowner and @HappeeinParis
That’s meant to say thank you!