[quote IamOvercome]@DomesticatedZombie I read the full paper. It doesn’t control for many factors that affect obesity. So you can’t rely on the conclusions.
@RedRobyn2021 but you don’t know the counterfactual. If you hadn’t breastfed you may have felt exactly the same about your daughter. You just attribute it to breastfeeding.
@Caneparrot Breast is best. Mixed feeding is fine. Exclusively FF is not equal to BF no matter how many studies you do what are you basing that on?[/quote]
You're right I can't compare to formula feeding, but I'm not saying that I would LOVE her any less if we formula fed, I would still love her, obviously.
But I do know when I say we are symbiotic I mean, I need her to empty the milk and she needs me to feed her. I know that if we had formula fed my partner and my mum would have helped me with feeding. I would have had more time to myself from the beginning. But because we have soldiered on through all the difficulties and the sleepless nights and the feeling that it's all on me, well, it has bound us together. When I say she has helped my mental health, I mean, I am quite a worrier and this has continued into motherhood, breastfeeding her releases hormones which soothe me as they soothe her. Which I needed particularly in the early days of adjusting to it not just being me anymore.
She was in hospital at one point as a newborn and it was horrendous, just constant poking and prodding from myriad of different nurses and consultants. Breastfeeding provided a huge comfort for her and made me feel like I could do something in such a horrible situation, I was so grateful we had kept going when this happened. She was getting plenty of fluids and she was being soothed during some difficult procedures.
From about 3.5 months she started waking very frequently in the night and by 5 months we had started bed sharing and I would feed her laying down barely waking myself. I wouldn't have been able to do this if I had formula fed, I would have had to get up and make up a bottle or rock her back to sleep. I don't know how I would have coped with this, but it would have been incredibly hard.
I wanted to add as well, that I was raised very differently, my mother went back to work when I was 6 weeks. I was breast fed a bit initially but quickly formula fed. I was put in my own room virtually from birth and had many people feed me who weren't my mother. But we are close, we have always been close through my childhood too. Possibly because she only had me but also because of the choices she made about the kind of parent she wanted to be.
So although I personally place a huge amount of value on breastfeeding because of my experience as a mother, I KNOW that it isn't the be all of parenthood and certainly doesn't mean that a mum won't have a close relationship with their child.
My heart goes out to those women that beat themselves up over this. They shouldn't. The problem isn't that they formula fed, the problem is when women formula feed but wanted to breastfeed, but weren't given the support, practically, financially, emotionally to do what they wanted. I mean I think we all know that really, but it makes me sad the way we end up arguing amongst ourselves when the real problem is the people in charge making the decision that we're not worth investment.
Sometimes I wonder if it were men birthing babies how different things would be.