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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Health visitor checking sleeping area?

53 replies

Beachsidesunset · 14/03/2022 11:39

I know it's normal for babies - to check for SIDS risks, but at the two year check? Never experienced that before! Is it just my area, NE England?

OP posts:
Sh05 · 14/03/2022 12:47

Lots of children's services are being extra cautious since COVID restrictions have been lifted solely due to children who may have fallen through the gaps in the last two years.
Some LAs maybe more than others

HerculesMulligan · 14/03/2022 12:47

I really don't understand why you'd be bothered about showing the HV where your child sleeps. They aren't being nosy, their job is child protection.

iwant2bfree · 14/03/2022 12:47

Also NE.....
Just had my HV here this morning for 6 week check, she has asked what the arrangements are but never asked to 'see' it

TomAllenWife · 14/03/2022 12:49

Why is refusing health visiting seen as some sort of badge of honour on MN - go you!!!

It's part of normal practice in Wales to ask to see where baby sleeps, but parent can decline, it's not a big deal

BirdSou · 14/03/2022 12:51

This is a fairly new, but standard, check these days. I work in the NE and all Public Health teams (School Nurse, Health VIsitor) will be doing this the first time they meet a family or if they've not seen them for a while. It's around safety, smoke alarms, stair gates, safe sleeping spaces, etc, some families will need support with these.
You can of course say no but please don't tell them to fuck off....only doing their job.

TwentinQuarantino · 14/03/2022 12:55

I had the HV ask to see where DC sleeps when she came for his 9 to 12 month check. I declined as we were renovating and things were everywhere. (Plus I didn't feel comfortable but didn't mention that). She accepted it and moved on with her questions. NW here.

DockOTheBay · 14/03/2022 12:55

I have never had a health visitor come to my house, let alone check babys sleeping area. I've had 2 children in 2017 and in 2020 in the south east.

nearlyspringyay · 14/03/2022 12:58

The hv never came to my house. Not even my 31 weekends had been discharged and needed to be weighed, and I couldn't fit a double buggy into the weighing place.

I think the service varies so massively!

MsSquiz · 14/03/2022 13:05

I'm in NE England (Northumberland) and no health visitor has ever asked to see where DD1 would sleep (pre birth) or does sleep (2 year check) and didn't when she came round recently for DD2's pre birth visit - which was handy because at the time of her visit, DD2 had no where to sleep!

AHungryCaterpillar · 14/03/2022 13:05

They do usually visit so I think it’s more unusual that people are saying they’ve never had a visit, I’ve had 4 children and they’ve asked to visit each time (twice before the babies were even born 🤨)

Ohdoleavemealone · 14/03/2022 13:08

It is possibly a response to LA failures in safeguarding. When we adopted they did regular visits in the months afterwards and always checked sleeping areas as this is a huge indicator of how well a child is cared for. Apparently if the HV had checked behind the door of (I think babyp??) they would have seen blood and realised the child wasn't in a safe home.

Ionlydomassiveones · 14/03/2022 13:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

GrapesAreMyJam · 14/03/2022 13:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

concernedalot · 14/03/2022 13:29

They're just doing their job for safeguarding reasons, I wouldn't worry about it.

Incognito32 · 14/03/2022 13:30

Our HV actively refused to come upstairs. I had to hobble down at 2 week visit (had a c section)

Toottooot · 14/03/2022 13:33

It’s not even normal for a baby let alone a toddler.

ExConstance · 14/03/2022 13:33

I refused any H.V. visits, didn't really see what they could offer of any use.

imisscashmere · 14/03/2022 13:35

@HerculesMulligan

I really don't understand why you'd be bothered about showing the HV where your child sleeps. They aren't being nosy, their job is child protection.
Exactly. They can’t bloody win can they?!

Arthur Labinjo Hughes might still be alive if somebody had insisted on seeing where he slept.

2under2howscary · 14/03/2022 13:37

Also NE
Health visitor asked to check where DS2 was sleeping x

3Daddy31982 · 14/03/2022 13:49

Arthur was school-aged and therefore came under the school nurses not a Health visitor. He had aged out of HV services.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 14/03/2022 13:49

I have a child due her 2yr check soon and I really hope they don't ask to check her sleeping area. We're slowly renovating the house and I'd be too embarrassed to let anyone upstairs as it's such a mess.

I also have a 5wk old and the HV didn't ask to see where he was sleeping, just asked what he would be sleeping in upstairs. I had no issue with them checking my DD sleeping area when she was born (under a different LA who seemed more thorough with checks) as they're only trying to make sure the child is safe.

BlueGreyApple · 14/03/2022 13:53

I had a two year check at home and the Health Visitor never asked to see where he slept - although I think I told her it was in our bed.

MatildaTheCat · 14/03/2022 13:54

It’s a good thing they are doing. Same as it now being routine for midwives to ask all women about domestic abuse. Having no or chaotic sleeping arrangements for a young child is a big indicator of neglect. That certainly doesn’t mean the hv is implying you are neglectful.

user1485835431 · 21/08/2023 12:17

Yeah health visitor just been, she asked me the same thing. I was like wat? Sorry no I can’t see. I don’t understand why it’s their buisness. This never happen before with older children. Maybe it’s a new thing. But I had to decline, not being funny they already ask to many questions, how is it any of their buisness. Waj

user1485835431 · 21/08/2023 12:20

It’s wat u call noisey and none of their f buisness. It’s our children and our homes. Do they wana see inside our f uterus. Wth is the world coming to