To organise a last minute wedding?

[willwewontwe]

We have gone back and forwards over what to do about a wedding for nearly 2 years now. In that time we’ve also had a baby and had other things to think about. Neither of us are that interested in ‘the big day’. I would like the wedding dress and to have the same second name as my partner and baby at the end of it but that’s about it. Neither of us want a formal sit down dinner and speeches about how we met etc. I would far rather have a nice relaxed day with friends, ideally in the sun. We’d possibly start it a bit later than a usual wedding, have a short ceremony then just drinks, casual food with kids activities etc outside until the reception. We have a venue picked that without giving myself away would involve people staying over due to its location (not abroad or anything). We planned to get married summer 2023 although we haven’t arranged anything. Now due to recent world events getting me thinking, I’m wondering why we have to wait til then. If we do I’ll just spend the next year thinking of all the things that could go wrong and worrying about it all. Could we just get married late summer this year?

Would 5 months be enough notice for people to book a hotel room for the night? I hate asking people to put themselves out so the concept of people having to pay to stay over for my wedding doesn’t sit well with me at all 🙈 There would be the issue of some people having already booked a holiday and some bands etc already being booked up but I’m sure we will find one who isn’t. The venue is available and we’d need to find a humanist for the ceremony but again, not that fussed on who 🙈 Is this all a terrible idea or does this sound doable? Help 😬

Sounds lovely.
Congratulations!

Do it!

You won’t regret it!

Congratulations OP it's you and family day. Have fun with a casual party after you get back from a couple of weeks in the sun ☀️

If it's in the UK and you don't get the weather, will it be under a marquee? As long as you accept that people can't attend due to other commitments and you aren't upsetting close relatives, by them missing out. It's doable, if you don't have fixed ideas about what you want.

Totally doable! We planned ours in six weeks, five months is easy! As long as you’re realistic about not always having your first choice of everything (and it seems like you are) then it’ll be great.

@Sleepyteach oh wow! The only thing is the dress that everyone says you need 6 months for but surely you can get it quicker somehow 🙈

I think that's totally do-able. We got married a few years ago six months after getting engaged. We made a decision to choose a date all close family were available (quite tricky with 7 siblings between us who like holidays) and with friends we just accepted some wouldn't be able to make it.

It's plenty of time for people to sort accommodation, and I reckon planning a wedding is one of those things that will take the time you've got. So if you've got a week it'll take a week, if you've got two years you'll plan for two years

And depends what sort of dress you want I suppose - I'm not into that sort of thing so I just bought an off the peg bridesmaids dress and got it altered locally.

@Ponoka7 yes, the ceremony would be a bit of a compromise if it wasn’t able to be outside but it would still be okay 😊

Congratulations! It really depends on where you get your dress - I got mine at Wed2Be straight off the peg and took it home the day I tried it on. We organised our wedding in 6 months and went to Gretna with a very small wedding party. It was absolutely perfect.

@OM82 yeah I know what you mean! I’d just need to get a save the date sorted ASAP

@furmumma Gretna is the other option 😊 I haven’t looked into dresses really, would need to do that first probably 🙈

That’s loads of time don’t panic. But a dress off the rack, I did that in a bridal shop as I’d ordered one 6 months prior and they called me 3 months before the wedding saying oh you’ve paid for extra length, we don’t do it on that dress so I had to start again and found my dream dress and one shop had a sample in my size so I just bought that. The other day I was browsing asos and they had loads of bridal dresses that were gorgeous!! Lots of high street stores do now too and gorgeous as well. People staying in a hotel for a night is standard for a wedding so don’t worry about that. Enjoy the whirlwind of fun and have an amazing day, it’ll be something lovely for everyone in a time of uncertainty

Oh and we had a humanist ceremony and it was fab, plenty of celebrants around and easy to write your own ceremony with their help. It’ll be gorgeous

I'm not sure if rules have changed but don't think you can have a legal ceremony outdoors. Don't worry about the dress. I got mine a few months in advance, off the peg and altered by the bridal shop. Went to my final fitting the week before and I'd put on 2 inches! She altered it overnight. It would only take 6 months to make one from scratch.

I think yes as long as you are willing to compromise on suppliers and not get your first choice. 2022 is apparently the biggest year for weddings in 40 years due to all the Covid postponements and things like dresses have several months delay on them due to the Ukraine situation!

But if you aren’t planning on being bridezilla and maybe go for a non standard date like a weekday, then I think it’s a lovely concept to just want to be married asap!

We did our wedding in 8 weeks. Didn’t have the money or the inclination for a large fancy wedding. My dress was high street, did all the catering ourselves (was icing cupcakes while SIL was doing my hair!) my dad manned the BBQs. Got a load of alcohol from costco.
We rented some holiday cottages that came with a meadow and borrowed a party marquee.

@willwewontwe I already had my dress as we moved the date of the wedding as my dad was extremely ill, but I got it from the outlet section of a bridal shop, so it came home with me the day I picked it anyway. (In Leicester if you’re nearby and need a recommendation!) I was very lucky in that it didn’t need any alterations.

You could always hire a wedding dress and they can alter them to fit perfectly in quick time.

As you said a dress is important to you, I’d look into that. Many dress makers have 6-9 month lead times, possibly longer now.

I think you actually expect too much, on one hand you are saying you only really care about the same name and a dress on the other hand you are mentioning that everyone needs to stay over, bands, weather issues, certain type of celebrant, a dress being altered, that's all bridezilla territory. If you were saying local registry, pub lunch, garden party, peg dress 100% yes but realistically you have certain ideas that take time and no you haven't given people enough time I'd you expect them to find holiday allowance and money to stay somewhere especially with money as it is for most people at the moment. Yes you can definitely do it but you'll need to be realistic about the outcomes and expect some people not to be able to attend.

We planned our wedding in three months. Similar sort of thing, we just weren't bothered about lots of details. It was enough time to sort the essentials and the things we cared about sorting.

Also we got a hilarious amount of discounts for booking 'last minute'!

[quote willwewontwe]@Ponoka7 yes, the ceremony would be a bit of a compromise if it wasn’t able to be outside but it would still be okay 😊[/quote]
I got mine in Debenhams ☺️

Buy an off the peg dress and have it altered. Rather than one made ti measure and you will be fine. Loads of second hand dress bargains around if you don't mind prebought (often not even worn) just ask around fie a recommendation for a seamstress now and get her booked in, and maybe ask her advice before buying to ensure the alterations are possible.

Or go for a high street brand e.g. monsoon, JL etc you might not need alterations.

My dress I mean. Freaking jumping screen and mis-posting all over the place @mumsnet