Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Should I be upset

69 replies

TwoBranch · 13/03/2022 20:01

So my boyfriend and I met through a video game. We decided to get a new game for just us to play together. He started to play it without me and I got a little upset about it and told him that. During some arguments he decided to join and speak to other girls on the game which upset me even more. He even added them as friends. We worked it out and he agreed to delete the women but then readded them again during another argument. After that I explained to him that I am now extremely hurt whenever he plays it without me, and asked if he could simply wait to play it until I get home. It has become his new favourite game now and he continues to play it all day every day despite how much it hurts and upsets me. Am I unreasonable to be upset about him playing without me, or for asking him to wait til I can join too?

OP posts:

SunshineCake1 · 13/03/2022 22:12

Oh dear. This is not a solid relationship. Time to move on and work on yourself.

JeffThePilot · 13/03/2022 22:22

@Jenjen26

Are you definitely sure he is 41 and your not being catfished by a teenage boy 🤔

I’m wondering.

This doesn’t seem at all healthy OP and I speak as someone who also met my now-husband playing a video game. We were younger than you but our relationship was never anything like what you describe. It shouldn’t be this dramatic and difficult six months in.

Loki64 · 13/03/2022 22:28

Its a game.
Im 29, my partner is 35 and were also long distance so see each other every other week. We sometimes agree we will save tv shows for each other and he started one of them without me not long ago, i actually found it funny and teased him about it and then asked for no spoilers.
If ur long distance and he wants to play a game, theres nothing srong with him doing that.
Although him purposely readding women after uve said how u felt about it is him trying to stir the pot.
Both sides pretty unhealthy and childish?

PinkiOcelot · 13/03/2022 22:34

Are you both 12?! I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous.

TrooBloo · 13/03/2022 22:45

Trip trap?

ManateeFair · 13/03/2022 23:35

[quote LIZS]@ManateeFair on some gaming platforms apparently you can see if someone is active and what they are playing[/quote]
@lizs But she says he plays the game all day, so for her to know that she must also be on the platform all day, checking up on him. Which is mad.

Nanny0gg · 13/03/2022 23:38

@TwoBranch

He occasionally works on small projects from home as a freelance programmer

So how does he live on such little work?

Nanny0gg · 13/03/2022 23:40

@TwoBranch

I'm 30. He is 41. It's a long distance relationship. Only been 6 months.

41???

And he games all day every day??

I have no issue with gaming as a hobby whatever your age but this is ridiculous

Dump

Nikolaus · 13/03/2022 23:42

YANBU.

You both agreed that you would have this game as your game to play together.

It doesn't sound like this is important to him and it's very telling that he adds other women to his game when you argue.

I don't live with DP and we decide on a TV show to watch together when I visit. He doesn't watch it when I'm not there, he has other things he can watch. He respects that we have chosen this as something to do together.

Dump him. It doesn't sound like he cares.

Whiskersonkittens21 · 13/03/2022 23:51

@ladydimitrescu

In summary - it's not about the game, it's about your paranoia around him possibly meeting someone the way you met.

My thoughts exactly.

CandyLeBonBon · 13/03/2022 23:51

I'm intrigued to know if you've actually met in person op?

Clumsyvolcano · 14/03/2022 01:32

Very immature on both sides.

123feraverto · 14/03/2022 03:54

What is the game?

Id be annoyed too if we'd planned to play together!

Same as if you plan to do anything together and the other person does it without you

But it's done now - find a new game?

Monty27 · 14/03/2022 03:58

OP you clearly have insecureties
Is there a reason for that?
You don't own him and he has rightly gone against your demands.
Jeez

BiscuitLover3678 · 14/03/2022 04:03

I mean yeah, him adding girls online when you’ve told him it upsets you (and it’s how you guys met) he’s being a dick. Does he have no empathy?

HoppingPavlova · 14/03/2022 04:09

He occasionally works on small projects from home. Is that on top of a full-time job or instead of?

Do you work in a full-time job?

Have you ever met this person in real life?

collieresponder88 · 14/03/2022 06:49

He plays games all day every day. What is he 12 ? Ditch him and get an adult with a job fgs

ladydimitrescu · 14/03/2022 07:29

Have you actually met?

Vitani · 14/03/2022 08:14

I would be annoyed if we planned to go watch a film at the cinema together and he went without me.

I would be annoyed if we were gonna go to X place on a date and he went without me.

I would be annoyed if he watched "our" TV show without me.

The same absolutely applies to a game that you have decided to play together.

It sounds like you are more involved than he is here. I would leave him now while it's still early. He also sounds like he will cheat on you anyway with these girls he adds when you argue.

Flip

1 2 3