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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I be upset

69 replies

TwoBranch · 13/03/2022 20:01

So my boyfriend and I met through a video game. We decided to get a new game for just us to play together. He started to play it without me and I got a little upset about it and told him that. During some arguments he decided to join and speak to other girls on the game which upset me even more. He even added them as friends. We worked it out and he agreed to delete the women but then readded them again during another argument. After that I explained to him that I am now extremely hurt whenever he plays it without me, and asked if he could simply wait to play it until I get home. It has become his new favourite game now and he continues to play it all day every day despite how much it hurts and upsets me. Am I unreasonable to be upset about him playing without me, or for asking him to wait til I can join too?

OP posts:
tkwal · 13/03/2022 20:37

Reading your original post I thought the two of you were teenagers. Message to both of you, stop living your life through games. You might be able to control others in VR but it's not like that IRL. Never has the phrase "get a life" been so apt

ButtockUp · 13/03/2022 20:38

I think we need to know about your real life relationship with him before we can really comment.
Do you have a real life relationship?

MermaidEyes · 13/03/2022 20:40

30 and 41? Seriously? Try getting out and meeting someone who doesn't spend all day on their arse gaming.

Bellyups · 13/03/2022 20:42

Have you actually met each other op?

SouperNoodle · 13/03/2022 20:46

@ButtockUp

I think we need to know about your real life relationship with him before we can really comment. Do you have a real life relationship?
This was my thought as well.

In all honesty, 6 months in should not be that hard. It all sounds very immature and I would reconsider the relationship.

ParisLondonTokyoSlough · 13/03/2022 20:47

Not going to lie, I’m also surprised by your ages - not because I have a vendetta against gaming but just the type of arguments you’re having. Replace game with Netflix or clubbing and the scenario still sounds so childish.

I think he needs to do some maturing OP he behaves like a teenage boy.

Hoppinggreen · 13/03/2022 20:49

Did you meet through an online game and have never actually met in real life?
If so you are both too old for this shit

LIZS · 13/03/2022 20:50

Way too much drama for six months in. Find someone who acts their age and is more present in rl than virtually.

Orchidsonthetable · 13/03/2022 20:52

Do you actually see each other in person often?

Itsnotover · 13/03/2022 20:53

41????? He sounds like an absolute loser. Throw this one back.

marypoppins2022 · 13/03/2022 20:53

Ok

MrsGHarrison87 · 13/03/2022 20:59

No you can't ask him to only play it with you. I understand that a partner who's on a game for a long time can be extremely tedious. My husband doesn't go on as much as he'd like but we're married with kids and he has priorities. That doesn't sound the case here, though. If it's a long distance relationship and only been 6 months, it shouldn't be affecting you this much.

Pllink · 13/03/2022 21:00

Lot of judgement here, some people are just into gaming! Not my bag but no different to any other hobby.

Wedonttalkaboutrats · 13/03/2022 21:01

I understand that you feel hurt by the fact that he didn’t wait to enjoy the game with you and just selfishly played it by himself (and with other girls)……..if your relationship is exclusively/primarily an online one, this is a bigger deal than it would be irl.
But I think that maybe you’d be better off finding a boyfriend you can see properly and who is mature enough to take your feelings into consideration.

newbiename · 13/03/2022 21:06

Are you 12 ?

tara66 · 13/03/2022 21:07

Does he have a job?

hdjdjehhdhdvsv · 13/03/2022 21:11

@LIZS

Are you both young? Been together for how long? Why are you so insecure online, he could just as easily meet someone else in the street?
Codswallop! People haven't met in the street since easily 2009. After that it is online meeting or no meeting at all. This is the way.
Jenjen26 · 13/03/2022 21:18

Are you definitely sure he is 41 and your not being catfished by a teenage boy 🤔

ManateeFair · 13/03/2022 21:42

@TwoBranch

I'm 30. He is 41. It's a long distance relationship. Only been 6 months.
Eh? If it’s a long distance relationship, how do you actually know what games he’s playing and when? You don’t live together, so you have no idea what he’s doing with his free time. You’d only know when he was playing this game if you’re online at the same time. Have you even met?!

Anyway. YABU. You met someone through a certain type of game which entails playing with other people online. You can’t just demand that he stops doing that solely because you think it’s a betrayal that he played a game without you. You and he both sound equally immature. I would honestly have thought you were both 14.

TracyMosby · 13/03/2022 21:44

Youre unhappy and youre not tied to him. Just end it!

SweetPotatoDumpling · 13/03/2022 21:49

🤦‍♀️

LIZS · 13/03/2022 21:49

@ManateeFair on some gaming platforms apparently you can see if someone is active and what they are playing

QweenBea · 13/03/2022 21:57

I think you should be concentrating on your homework. Because if you aren't at school, you are both behaving like 14yr olds

SarahProblem · 13/03/2022 21:58

OP ignore all the ridiculous negativity towards gaming.

That being said, it sounds like a very immature relationship. I'd suggest you step away from it.

Icanflyhigh · 13/03/2022 21:59

Good lord, reading the OP I thought you were both about 14.
Grow up.

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