I just wanted to get some opinions on whether I am being unreasonable to feel the way I do at the moment and what if anything I should do.
Been with boyfriend for 3 months so very early days but like him a lot, has been separated from his wife for over a year says they were effectively separated for a year before that and has no intention of ever getting back together.
They have children and he has them at least half the week and one day at the weekend, all the days they stay over are based on her working shifts that seem to change frequently meaning we can’t really plan anything and I just try and fit in around it and see him once a week on the weekend on whatever day he hasn’t got the kids.
My issue is that on the one day I do see him she is messaging him crap the whole time and he is responding. I travel an hour to see him and he’s sat on his phone. I also have children with a husband I was with for half my life so I get a need for communication but I don’t speak to my ex husband unless there’s something wrong with the children or something urgent needs to be discussed especially if I was out with someone but also appreciate everyone’s relationships are different and he wants be friendly with his ex wife.
I don’t want to come across to him like it’s about his kids as it’s not at all, one of the things I like about him is how he is with his children and how much he sees them and obviously cares for them. There just seems to be no boundaries with her, he either has the children or he taking about the children with her. She knows he is with me on this one evening a week and his phone is just constantly vibrating. It seems to me he is completely oblivious as to how this might come across and think he’s just used to how they work and communicate which i guess was fine when he was single but is making me feel a little uncomfortable.
I’ve said nothing so far but to be honest it’s stating to make me feel a bit crap and if my failed marriage taught me anything it was to not forget my self worth and I feel like I am starting to question it again. Should I say something and if so what? I don’t want to sound needy or clingy or, like I said, that I expect to be put before his kids as I don’t they should always come first but not his ex wife.