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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH to shut the en-suite door when he sprays his deodorant?

52 replies

Catswhiskers8 · 13/03/2022 12:06

I’m sat in bed enjoying my morning coffee and he goes into our en-suite bathroom which is located at the end of our bed to do his deodorant without closing the door Angry. I try to explain that this is quite unpleasant for me but he just rolls his eyes and mutters something about me doing the same in the main bathroom and that he can smell it in his office. There is a hall between the main bathroom and his office. The main bathroom is large and airy and he sits in another room with a hallway in between both rooms. The en-suite is tiny and literally at the foot of our bed. He just doesn’t get this. AIBU to tell him that it really isn’t comparable?

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 13/03/2022 12:09

It’s deodorant, not mustard gas.

Sirzy · 13/03/2022 12:11

Seems rather OTT. It’s a bit of deodorant!

Billandben444 · 13/03/2022 12:12

Sorry, think you're being a tad unreasonable. He shouldn't close the door if he's using an aerosol and the only other option is to go to your main bathroom and spray and then come back. Hmmm. It sounds like one of those picky comments I'd make at MOH when I'm just feeling a bit ratty with the world.

SilverHairedCat · 13/03/2022 12:13

My DH sprays his downstairs - I have chronic migraine and he used to think I was exaggerating about the effects of me until I puked up.

They are such a strong scent, it's a huge trigger for me to be in a cloud of any sprayed product. I use roll on for this reason.

Not unreasonable to ask not to be part of the spraying session.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 13/03/2022 12:13

Omg me and my husband argue about this all the time!!!! Does my head in, I don’t want to breathe it in!

The kids do it in my classroom as well!

Original poster
Catswhiskers8 · 13/03/2022 12:13

@Billandben444

Sorry, think you're being a tad unreasonable. He shouldn't close the door if he's using an aerosol and the only other option is to go to your main bathroom and spray and then come back. Hmmm. It sounds like one of those picky comments I'd make at MOH when I'm just feeling a bit ratty with the world.
He could just close the door snd open the window Hmm
OP posts:
waitingformytakeaway · 13/03/2022 12:14

I make my DH leave the room to spray his! We use Mitchum and it's very choky. It's never been an issue asking him to go elsewhere.

Gizacluethen · 13/03/2022 12:14

I stick all spray deodorants we get at christmas straight in a charity bag because there are no aerosols in this house. I hate it, its suffocating. So YANBU to not like it. But if you do the same then you can't complain about him not being considerate either. Even if you think what you're doing isn't as bad.

rwalker · 13/03/2022 12:14

How do us poupers without ensuites manage

CounsellorTroi · 13/03/2022 12:15

Can you get him to use a roll on or stick rather than a spray? Much less polluting.

Hunderland · 13/03/2022 12:17

Sounds like you need to do yours in the ensuite and he needs to do his in the main bathroom...

Whawasthat · 13/03/2022 12:23

I hope you never have teen boys, there is a constant smell of lynx and random aftershave in this house, I say house I mean tiny flat it’s just part of living in a shared space.

Lou98 · 13/03/2022 12:25

I think YABU. It's not as if he's standing over you spraying it in to your coffee.

Even if he shut the door, when he opened it it's going to come in to the room anyway.

If you don't like it, you could always have your coffee somewhere else

Hisea · 13/03/2022 12:26

No OP I agree, the deodorant my partner uses makes me cough so bad

Aquamarine1029 · 13/03/2022 12:27

Stop using spray deodorants. They're awful in every way.

Octomore · 13/03/2022 12:27

If the smell and chemicals make you feel like that, what is it doing to the planet? Roll on would be far less polluting.

Whatup · 13/03/2022 12:28

Buy him some roll on. Roll on works better anyway.

Quitelikeit · 13/03/2022 12:30

I hate being close to where deodorant has been sprayed! Yanbu

Buy him roll on and he was definitely rude to not close the door or go into the hallway

ItsDisneyBitch · 13/03/2022 12:37

I shout at dh when he does his because like PP I get horrendous headaches. But when 19 year old ds was going to town with bloody lynx Africa that’s when I really have an issue.

EthelTheAardvark · 13/03/2022 12:41

Bulk buy some non-aerosol deodorant for both of you? It's much cheaper anyway.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/03/2022 12:41

I'm amazed anyone is still using spray deodorants. They're so bad for you to breathe in. They shouldn't even be sold.

EthelTheAardvark · 13/03/2022 12:42

Do you leave the door open when you use deodorant in the main bathroom? If not, he can't claim that you are doing the same.

Whydidimarryhim · 13/03/2022 12:46

I hate deodorant sprays - some people are very sensitive - would be not move to a roll on one -

wishihadagoodone · 13/03/2022 12:49

YANBU
I use a stick deodorant and any hair aerosols (dry shampoo, hairspray etc) are used in the bathroom after DH has finished. Or I'll open a window.
DH doesn't like the choking smell. It's no big deal for me to do this. Common courtesy really.

22EL23 · 13/03/2022 12:50

I agree with you OP.
I use a roll on as the spray affects my headaches plus we have small pets that are prone to resp issues. My partner sprays deodorant in the downstairs bathroom only. 4 rooms away from small pets (our house is terraced and pets at the front and bathroom at the back) and a different floor to the bedroom.