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Original poster

Depressed at turning 29

37 replies

veevee04 · 13/03/2022 06:57

It's my 29th Birthday today, I don't think I've achieved much in the last 2 years because of COVID and such. I know It's irrational because I'm in good health and financially comfortable. It's like 30 is edging closer and I don't feel fulfilled I should have travelled more and seen more of the world which is what I always wanted to do. I'm highly busy this year completing a course so it seems unlikely. Is this a mini life crisis thing ?

OP posts:
HarlanPepper · 13/03/2022 07:07

It's my birthday too! I am 44 and feel fine about it. But I remember being really glum about turning 29. In your case it sounds like you have a lot to feel good about though, try and focus on what you have achieved rather than what you haven't (yet). Make this the year you start saving and planning your travels if that's important to you. And happy birthday!

LadyCordeliaFitzgerald · 13/03/2022 07:09

I found 29 hard too - it feels like you have to prove yourself in your twenties. I can categorically say that I loved my thirties so much by comparison. Good times ahead.

GeneLovesJezebel · 13/03/2022 07:11

I always felt a bit low when I got to 30 and 40 , by the time I got to 50 I didn’t care !

Turniptracker · 13/03/2022 07:13

30 approaching was also a bit scary for me I remember, much more content now I'm the other side! If you are busy this year could you try and still plan in some small short trips to satisfy that itch and get some good culture boosts? Maybe Faroes, turkey, Azores or similar for some 4 day weekends?

Giviningup · 13/03/2022 07:26

Existential Crisis.

Happens to any one at any time but very common in mid 20's.

I am 29 too and although I don't feel as horrible now, the past 9 months I have been very, very down in the dumps, low and questioning everything. A lot of negative thoughts and feelings about myself and what I have done before the big '30'.

Just wanted to highlight that a lot of people go through this. I have started to try and look at all the things I HAVE done. I have been exercising more and generally trying to look after myself a little better. I still have bad days but on the whole I think I have come out of the worst of it.

I won't go into all the details about how exactly I have been or what things I have been thinking as it is all negative and pointless for me to list to you.
It has been a massive rollercoaster. Its helps to understand what it is though. Read up on existential crisis.

Daffodil
EdgeOfACoin · 13/03/2022 07:27

29 is so, so young. I know it doesn't seem like it at the time, though.

Your 30s can be great. You say you still have your health and you are financially comfortable, so there's nothing to stop you from travelling this decade instead (current geopolitics aside).

I know many people who relocated to a different country in their mid-late 30s. I know someone in her 30s who has been working in Barbados since the start of the pandemic.

I travelled to far-flung destinations in my late 20s and 30s, changed career at 34 and had a child in my late 30s. I know you didn't say anything about marriage or children (and that may not be what you want) but in the last two years I can think of at least four women I know who had their first child after the age of 38. One was 42.

I am nearing 40 and I look back at how depressed I was at turning 30, not realising how young I really was. And you have a whole year to go before you turn 30!

A good bit of advice I heard was 'your 30s can be like your 20s but with money'.

Twizbe · 13/03/2022 07:35

The quarter life crisis is something that hit quite a few of my friends in their late 20s.

Some quit jobs to go travelling, some changed careers, some ended relationships, some got married and then ended their relationship.

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/03/2022 07:47

@GeneLovesJezebel

I always felt a bit low when I got to 30 and 40 , by the time I got to 50 I didn’t care !
This exactly. I'm 67 now and glad to be healthy and in my prime.

If I could go back to any age it would either be 18 (and not make all the mistakes I made then) or my 40s - mature, more knowledge about life, still youthful.

orio · 13/03/2022 09:17

@HarlanPepper

It's my birthday too! I am 44 and feel fine about it. But I remember being really glum about turning 29. In your case it sounds like you have a lot to feel good about though, try and focus on what you have achieved rather than what you haven't (yet). Make this the year you start saving and planning your travels if that's important to you. And happy birthday!
Happy birthday! OP, try and remember, 'growing older is a privilege denied to many' Also, happy birthday.
Ghostmooncup · 13/03/2022 12:53

Very common. You've not had the chance to travel due to covid
Book it and look forward to it.

29 is so young!

Hamsterrific · 13/03/2022 18:32

Happy Birthday! I’m 39 today and feeling pretty calm and content about my impending forties! If you’d told me I’d reach this age without any DC I wouldn’t have believed you, but DP and I are excited for adventures over the years ahead… hopefully with the promise of more travel than we’ve managed over the past couple of years! My thirties has been the decade where (COVID aside) I invested in travel to make some great memories: I made a list of places I’d love to visit and slowly ticked most of them off. My favourite memory was finally mastering the basics of parallel turns on a ski trip with a very patient DP. I’m sure you have lots of fun times ahead!

DustyMaiden · 13/03/2022 18:48

I’m just turning 60. You are young.

Carpy899 · 13/03/2022 18:52

I'm 30 this year and still don't feel 'grown up' despite having a mortgage and kids, I was talking to my mum who is 60 this year and said neither does she!

Seashor · 13/03/2022 18:56

I felt exactly the same at 29/30 but I can honestly say that my 30’s were absolutely, bloody brilliant!!!!! Best decade I’ve had so far!!

MurmuratingStarling · 13/03/2022 18:57

I have noticed that people - women specifically - turning 29/30, seem to dread/hate that age if they're single and childless. I never seem to hear women who are in relationships, or married with children by 30, say they are 'dreading 30,' and it's a horrible milestone. Seems to be largely single, childless women.

Is the 'dreading the age 30 milestone' a deep-rooted fear of being single forever?

Palau123 · 13/03/2022 18:57

I will be 30 soon and I know exactly what you mean. Turning 30 feels in someway like the end of a chapter. I am very happy with my life and I have achieved so much but for some reason that I cant quite explain I feel like I am nearing some sort of turning point that I am not ready for.

MrsGHarrison87 · 13/03/2022 18:58

I'm 35 this year. It feels like yesterday I was 21. Where does the time go? I don't mind getting older though, it happens to all of us. I've had friends and family members die in their teens and 20s so growing older feels like a privilege to me.

Tsuni · 13/03/2022 19:00

@MurmuratingStarling

I have noticed that people - women specifically - turning 29/30, seem to dread/hate that age if they're single and childless. I never seem to hear women who are in relationships, or married with children by 30, say they are 'dreading 30,' and it's a horrible milestone. Seems to be largely single, childless women.

Is the 'dreading the age 30 milestone' a deep-rooted fear of being single forever?

I'm 29. I'm married with DC. I still dread turning 30.
LampLighter414 · 13/03/2022 19:01

Trust me it's worse when you turn 30. So there is always that to look forward to

TacoCats · 13/03/2022 19:01

I turned 30 last year. It's really just a number and not as bad as people make it out to be. 30 is better than 70 😂

user1493494961 · 13/03/2022 19:04

Don't be ridiculous.

DialsMavis · 13/03/2022 19:07

Im much older than you OP (40) & all of ny friends agree that being this age is brilliant!
Im happier than I have ever been and finally feel comfortable in my own skin and my choices. You still have so much time yo achieve whatever it is that you want to do with your life.

Mamamia7962 · 13/03/2022 19:07

I am 29 years older than you, stop making me feel old 😂

Tayegete · 13/03/2022 19:11

I loved being 29. Embrace it op it goes so quick. I’m 45 now and happy with my life but I remember my late 20s fondly. If you want to travel more find practical ways to make it happen, but don’t do it because you think you should. Life is more than a list of experiences to tick off a list.

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 13/03/2022 19:17

@user1493494961

Don't be ridiculous.
Stop dismissing women's feelings and fears.