about camera in living room

[HedgehogintheFog]

Genuinely curious as to whether I am. At DH’s parents. FIL has a Ring camera, permanently on, in the living room, pointing towards sofa and the door to the hallway (away from the window). I don’t understand why it is on all the time and I hate that I am being recorded as we sit and chat/watch TV. I can’t articulate exactly why I hate it so much. It just makes me super uncomfortable. DH says I am being ridiculous. IABU to hate the camera?

No you're not. Why does he have that? It's super controlling and weird

Sitting in the kitchen with cups of tea would be the limit to my visiting..

I’d hate this as well. Bizarre.

I’d find this very uncomfortable knowing that everything being said and done is being recorded and could be monitored or rewatched - if it’s not going to be, then why bother recording in the first place? Have you mentioned it to him directly?

I think I’d refuse to go round there/not sit in that room and be pretty open about why. He can place it where he wants in his own house, but if the consequence of that action is making you uncomfortable, you have a right to react and not want to be in that environment.

I have the same set up because I live alone and have psychosis so being able to check the camera helps massively when I have hallucinations.

However...!!! When people come round, I always turn it off and turn it around so they know they're not being recorded.

Could you just explain how uncomfortable you are and ask he turns them off when you visit?

I wouldn't be happy about this. Do you know why he had it?

WTAF, that is really bizarre & no way in hell would I just accept that, I would care who I upset, as it's really intrusive rude & plain bloody weird

I wouldn't visit him and wouldn't let my children go there either. He's far too creepy.

We use a camera to check on our pets when we're on holiday but it's not up the rest of the time. Has he given a reason for it? It's not at all unreasonable to feel uncomfortable about it.

I wouldn't visit and tell them exactly why - that's just weird

Is refuse to go in the room and tell them why.

Totally unacceptable.

Urgh, no way would I go there. Nothing to hide but I shouldn't be recorded.

Have you asked him why he has it?
I agree it's unacceptable

I don’t think I’d care that I was on camera, but I’d want there to be reason, if that makes sense! So I would still find the whole principle of it really bloody weird. I think I’d come right out and ask why on Earth the camera points at the sofa in the living room and not the front door and see what the response was. I can absolutely see why you hate it.

My neighbour is the same & he is weirdly proud of it.
Recently his daughter (a grown woman) had a friend over and he shouted at him through the doorbell as he was leaving so beyond strange.
He told my DH about it and DH asked why would he do that his daughter was probably embarrassed and he said that's precisely why he did it.
Very strange behaviour and I wouldn't want to go over there.

While he’s out of the room, look straight at the camera and mouth ‘I HATE you, you fucking perv’.

That’s really weird. And it’s weird that your husband can’t see that it’s weird.

I wouldn’t go, or if you have to go so that children can visit, I’d be constantly encouraging the children to do silly performances to the camera.

I would not visit or allow children to visit. DH could do as he pleases. Very creepy behaviour.

Your FIL may have reasons to want it, but that doesn't mean you should just accept it. You could argue the risk of hacking, and then someone knows your house may be empty if you and your DH are seen on it.

I wouldn’t be visiting and I’d tell them why. I wouldn’t be letting my kids go either. Creepy and weird. I wonder why your husband doesn’t think it’s weird? Has his father always been a creep and a control freak? If so, maybe that’s the reason- he’s used to it so doesn’t give it much thought.

Is there anywhere else to sit other than the sofa? Even if there isn’t I would make a point of standing somewhere out of view of the camera and if FIL asks tell him you’d rather not be filmed.

Thanks all! Glad to hear the consensus is I am not being unreasonable.

After last night, where DH was annoyed with me with me for being “off”, he has realised my view is not unreasonable. He is avoiding confronting his dad, as it’s his mum’s birthday, but insisted we all sit in the conservatory this morning to avoid the “Big Brother Room”.

Also, I should probably say that I am at pains to avoid confronting his dad after our last showdown, which caused much upset on all sides.

O would think he needs your permission for you to be on it anyway.

We couldn’t put cctv up on our house without telling the neighbours as it may have photographed them.

Just dont go round there. In your shoes I wouldnt give a shit what H or his dad said or thought about it. I wont go where I'm uncomfortable and thats it.

Why are you so avoidant, and worried about seeming confrontational? You don't have to minimise yourself for men and designate yourself as peacekeeper you know.

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@HedgehogintheFog

Thanks all! Glad to hear the consensus is I am not being unreasonable.

After last night, where DH was annoyed with me with me for being “off”, he has realised my view is not unreasonable. He is avoiding confronting his dad, as it’s his mum’s birthday, but insisted we all sit in the conservatory this morning to avoid the “Big Brother Room”.

Also, I should probably say that I am at pains to avoid confronting his dad after our last showdown, which caused much upset on all sides.

Then after this, don't visit anymore