Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

about camera in living room

45 replies

HedgehogintheFog · 12/03/2022 09:35

Genuinely curious as to whether I am. At DH’s parents. FIL has a Ring camera, permanently on, in the living room, pointing towards sofa and the door to the hallway (away from the window). I don’t understand why it is on all the time and I hate that I am being recorded as we sit and chat/watch TV. I can’t articulate exactly why I hate it so much. It just makes me super uncomfortable. DH says I am being ridiculous. IABU to hate the camera?

OP posts:

Original poster

HedgehogintheFog · 12/03/2022 18:03

@DeeCeeCherry

Just dont go round there. In your shoes I wouldnt give a shit what H or his dad said or thought about it. I wont go where I'm uncomfortable and thats it.

Why are you so avoidant, and worried about seeming confrontational? You don't have to minimise yourself for men and designate yourself as peacekeeper you know.

I completely agree! The camera has been there a while, but this is the first time in a while that it has been on constantly (SIL says it is now all the time), accompanied with a story about how they spoke to Nanny (FIL’s mother) through the camera whilst she was staying and they were out.

I WILL NOT participate in their weird family dynamic, and will continue to call out FIL on his unacceptable behaviour, but sometimes find it tricky to navigate the line between “unacceptable” and just “different”, whilst still supporting DH and the rest of his family, so I hugely appreciate the sense check here.

OP posts:

VivX · 12/03/2022 18:13

It's seriously weird and I wouldn't visit there while they were recording everything either.

TillyTopper · 12/03/2022 18:16

That's very weird of FIL. The only way for it not to be weird is if it's on a window/door and they had had some trouble and they turned it off and covered it when people go round. I'd be restricting my visits to unrecorded rooms only and keep pretty quiet just in case.

piratehugs · 12/03/2022 18:19

This would bother me too. DP used to have a motion-detecting camera in the house, for "security". If he ever watched the recordings, all he'd see is several hundred instances of me sticking two fingers up at it.

junglejane66 · 12/03/2022 18:23

Its the one in the toilet I'd be more worried about

Imjkrowling · 12/03/2022 18:35

That’s really creepy. I wouldn’t go round there. Don’t blame you for not liking it.

KatyRebecca84 · 12/03/2022 18:37

You’ve still not said why it’s there? There needs to be a reason. When you ask him what does he say?

Nanny0gg · 12/03/2022 18:37

@junglejane66

Its the one in the toilet I'd be more worried about

Eh?

WonderfulYou · 12/03/2022 18:50

Has he said why it’s on all of the time?

I would understand if he put it on when they went out incase of a break in but it’s odd it’s on when you’re all there.

Is he controlling towards your MIL?

RosiePosieDozy · 12/03/2022 18:54

So weird. I would not sit there to be recorded and watched on a camera.

What is the reason for it???

You need to make it clear to him that you like seeing them and spending time with them but the camera is weird and you won't spend time in a room with a camera!!!

NameChangeCity123 · 12/03/2022 19:01

@passtheparsnips

I wouldn't visit and tell them exactly why - that's just weird

Exactly this

Looubylou · 12/03/2022 19:12

"You need to make it clear to him that you like seeing them" - 🤣That might prove a little difficult based on OP's update.

Halllyup17 · 12/03/2022 19:13

If it makes them feel safe then it's not an issue. What are you doing that you're worried about being picked up on a camera? I guarantee they won't be watching you scratching your arse.

MurmuratingStarling · 12/03/2022 19:18

Urgh, no WAY would I be visiting. How weird, pervy, and intrusive.

fallfallfall · 12/03/2022 19:45

hopefully you've double checked it's not a motion detector for when the house is set to away mode?
they look similar to a camera sitting in a top corner but are not.

Eloise666 · 12/03/2022 20:32

@Halllyup17

If it makes them feel safe then it's not an issue. What are you doing that you're worried about being picked up on a camera? I guarantee they won't be watching you scratching your arse.

Can you guarantee that? Lol

nocheesegromit · 12/03/2022 20:41

I've got a camera in the kitchen, front room and DS bedroom. He's a sleep walker and was also wont to wake up at 3am and have a mooch about.

They're never on during the day when we're in, the pinging on my phone would do my head in.

If you're twitchy about them, I definitely just wouldn't visit. Ours have settings where you can make it look like they're off even when they're on.so.yoid never be sure if they were recording or not.

Bagelsandbrie · 12/03/2022 20:44

Is he a swinger or making home made porn films with MIL?

Really odd.

VioletOcean · 12/03/2022 20:46

I find it bizarre, i wouldn’t bother go round anymore.

Original poster

HedgehogintheFog · 20/03/2022 18:24

I thought I’d come back and update.

I spoke to DH about this again. He said that “noone” likes it or knows the reason behind it - presumable this is his mum, and his siblings - but that he doesn’t think anyone has challenged his dad on it.

I used to think FIL’s behaviour suggested abuse, but over the years I have revised my opinion, and believe it is attention-seeking. I suspect he is waiting for someone to call him out on it and make a fuss and we are stuck in the middle of a giant game of chicken.

In any case, DH and I have agreed we will not go round there again until he has tackled the issue via his mum. I have told DH that I am not comfortable in their house in any case, and he has agreed that even after tackling this camera issue, we will focus on meeting up with them outside their home.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2