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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed this girl is going to lie to get a council place?

84 replies

MsSparkle · 04/01/2008 22:00

This girl i know who is 20yrs old is pregnant. She currantly lives at home with her parents and her boyfriend lives with his parents.

The plan is she is going to move in with her boyfriend at his parents house then they are going to make out his parents are kicking them out so they will get a council place. Both their parents are in on this.

Does this not make your blood boil?

OP posts:

inthegutter · 04/01/2008 22:31

It makes me despair sweetkitty. The message seems to be:
don't take any responsibility, don't bother to get qualifications or a decent job, tell lies = get an easy life.
Work hard, take responsibility, don't have kids until you're with a partner and can support yourselves = get screwed by the govt.
It's a bloody disgrace.

Original poster

MsSparkle · 04/01/2008 22:31

Well everyone thinks she has got pregnant for this reason; to get a place of her own and not have to work. He boyfriends family are less than happy she has got pregnant and think she has planned this behind her boyfriends back.

OP posts:

DavidTennantsMistress · 04/01/2008 22:31

skitty - that happened with my cousin - the cheeky mare then got a job (after 3 years) and said but i'll only be £3 p/w better off it's not worth it cos i'll have to pay rent thankfully she has a sensible new BF who's keeping her on the straihgt & narrow.

gr1973 · 04/01/2008 22:35

yes, it makes my blood boil when I hear about stuff like this. I cant stand it when people rant on about everyone on benefits living the life of riley, getting stuff for free, oh lucky them etc etc. Its people like this girl who give people who are genuinely struggling on benefits a bad name.

Me and DH have good jobs etc but I have seen/known people living on the breadline, trying to bring up their families on peanuts and you've got silly little girls who think it'll be great to get a wee flat and play house. Great example to set the child.

Yes they should be able to live together as a family but not by queue jumping the council waiting lists. Their right to affordable housing as a family isn't any greater than any other family.

Sorry, have started ranting...

sweetkitty · 04/01/2008 22:35

It's a disgrace - she must be the envy of her friends whilst they all live at home with their parents. These flats should be for true homeless people in that situation through no fault of their own (i.e. women who have had to leave a violent partner) not some stroppy teenager who fancies a bit mroe freedom.

I'm also pissed at MIL who has been giving her money and buying her clothes and food. She always seems able to go out drinking at weekends though. Sorry I'm away off on a tangent.

RIELOVESBACARDI · 04/01/2008 22:37

skitty your neice sounds like my sd

nutcracker · 04/01/2008 22:39

I can't decide what I think about this.

To be completely honest, I don't know anyone who hasn't at least stretched the truth to get on a housing list.

I do know people who have completely taken the piss and I do think that is wrong. Know one bloke who had a 2 bed HA flat, got given £10000 by HA to put towards house deposit. He brought a house, lived there for a few years then sold it and is now a tenant of the same HA again in a 2 bed flat.

If the private rents in this couples area are reasonable then yeah it is not very god of them to lie to get on housing list, but if the rents are quite high, what other option do they have ??

Oh and just because you get on the list doesn't mean you will definatly get housed. Different HA operate in different ways. When me and xp got our flat we had 2 dd's and were told that should we accept the flat we would never get given a house.
Now there are two 2 bed houses in my road one of which is occupied by a single mum with a baby, and the other a couple with a baby.

It's who you know, how hard you are prepared to fight and how loud you can shout that determins wether you get housed, nothing else.

Original poster

MsSparkle · 04/01/2008 22:40

Like my mum who got left in a one bedroom flat with two children because our father left to go off with another woman. The council wouldn't house us because we were three females If we had a boy in the family we would have been able to have a two bedroom place!

So we lived in a small one bedroom flat for 7 years!

OP posts:

inthegutter · 04/01/2008 22:40

My eldest would love a place of her own, fully furnished and rent paid, along with a nice little part time job so that she doesn't earn enough to have to start paying rent. Perhaps I should sign the form to say I've kicked her out? But no, stupid fools that DP and I are, we're encouraging her to go to uni, get qualified and be able to pay her own way. So of course we'll have to carry on supporting her because the govt would rather pay for 16 year olds who want to work part time in a cafe rather than go to University.... it's a mad world we live in isnt it?

discoverlife · 04/01/2008 22:42

My DD has been living with friends for over a year now, before that she lived with her now exbf, before that she found a little bedsit above a shop and paid for it herself whilst going to college full time and holding down a 3 jobs. She was only 17 when she moved out and did it all herself. People like your friend just do not know how to live, they expect everything to be handed to them on a plate.

leoleo · 04/01/2008 22:43

she'll be lucky. there are no propertys.
it is annoying but it wont work i think

discoverlife · 04/01/2008 22:45

Oh and last week her landlords had a party. One of their 'friends' tried to climb into bed with DD. (She didn't attend party as she was up for work at 5am).

sweetkitty · 04/01/2008 22:49

I was at her Mum for signing the form I know why she did it as she was scared she would go back to dossing on friends sofas but I wouldn't have given her an easy life and basically told social services I kicked my 16 yo DD out on the street.

I am still in about how easy it was for her to get a flat to herself and not have to pay rent for it (she also has said that she won't do any overtime in the cafe as she will have to pay more rent) she only works 2 half days and a Saturday.

Original poster

MsSparkle · 04/01/2008 22:51

I don't envy people who just want to do nothing and have everything on a plate. I pity them in fact.

I get great peace of mind knowing the things i have are because i have worked hard for them and that i can stretch myself to my full potential. I certainly wouldn't want a life where i can't work more than part-time in fear of 'having to pay rent.'

I want to live my life and experience things and go places.

OP posts:

sweetkitty · 04/01/2008 22:54

I agree she has really went downhill recently, got good GCSE equivalents, then flunked A level equi's gave up on school then walked out of home.

I just hope she wakes up soon and sorts herself out.

I just get so at a system where families with young children live in grotty bedsits or facing eviction and stroppy teenagers get flats.

DavidTennantsMistress · 04/01/2008 22:54

quite ms - my dad keeps saying to me that I shouldn't be in a rush to leave DS and go back to work - i'm not would love to stay at home with him - but on the other hand I have to support us both. So will do what I must, but it does annoy me when some people think the world owes them a living.

Original poster

MsSparkle · 04/01/2008 22:57

When you think how much a person can experience it seems a waste of a life to me, dossing around doing feck all.

OP posts:

stardonkey · 04/01/2008 23:08

yes it makes my blood boil. we all have to scrape our incomes to pay our rent and bills so why cant they?

madamez · 04/01/2008 23:10

WHile there are a small number of people who abuse the system, it's the systems itself (acute shortage of affordable housing) that's a far bigger problem. And a lot of this 'theiveing dole scum' urban mythology is to do with people not knowing the ful stories of other people's lives. THe girl who thinks she will get a flat just for asking may well be in for a rude awakening, the teenage/inlaw/cousin might have been being abused by her dad or something for all you know.
Many people blame the right-to-buy policies of the 80s, but the worst aspect of that was the councils who sold housing to tenants were not allowed to use the money raised to, er, build (or refurbish) more housing stock, which would have seemed a far more sensible way of doing it.

Mind you I am worrying about this a lot at the moment as the lease on my rented house is due to end in March and I have previously always had the form to say it will be renewed before Xmas so I am scared they are not going to renew the tenancy. And I don't know how we will get somewhere else to live as I am on HB and have debts and a very erratic income (ie no deposit etc). We won't end up on the streets because my parents would take us in but it would mean me and DS sharing a bedroom (he's 3) and it would be a bit stressful all round as my parents are in their 70s and though they love their grandson, having him around full time would be hard. Never mind the fact that moving in with them means uprooting DS from his nursery and all his playgroups and losing my Avon territory. DS dad has offered to help as much as he can but he has money/job worries of his own right now. SO I don't quite know what is going to happen to us.

southeastastra · 04/01/2008 23:12

it's disgusting they should be put in a pit

StudentMadwife · 04/01/2008 23:19

She prob will end up with a council place.
I ended up in a similar situation, although not kicked out of in laws place was very scared of fil's reaction to the pregnancy(previous mental health issues including being sectioned and spending a reasonable time in a semi secure psych unit) i had noone to turn to(corporate parents) and it was the only thing we could do. As a result I spent 8 months of the pregnancy in hostels-the first one not bad, the second one(stayed in for about 6 months) was horrific, 5 floors up, door had been broken in several times, walls were black with dirt, live wires hung out of the wall, there was mould in the fridge etc etc you wouldnt even had let your pet live there, it really was that bad.Several times i discovered food had been lifted out my fridge(which meant someone had broken in to my room) and I had this women in the next room junkie friends knocking at my door at ridiculus times at night. to make matters worse i had to give up my job with nhs as i couldnt get to work becuase of how far away in a hostel theyd placed me. this meant i couldn't claim benefits, was put on hardship payments and was initially granted a emergency grant of £28!!! which ended up having to last me 6 1/2 weeks!!!!! I was eventually moved to a local family hostel just before the birth which was a amazing place. Just before the birth we were offered a flat which we took without hesitation without even seeing it.

I just want to show sometimes there is no other option, we tried renting privately before all this and couldnt receive HB or rent help or anything, even though we were both doing apprenticeships and "earning" very little. eg we tried to do the right thing but without any help we ended up in debt with basic bills and struggled to keep our heads above water.

I hate to think that ive skrewed the system, but in a way i guess we did. Now we are surving well, up together with all bills, dp working, myself doing a degree. For now i intend to stay put, but once we have anough money to move we will. at which point i intend to swap my place with someone in a horredous situ(eg inner city london in block of flats, unlikely anyone would want to swap with) then once swap complete i intend to give up that place in the knowledge that ive helped someone out of an impossible situation.

As for the girl, i think her attitude stinks, she needs to get off her arse and make an effort to support her family.

Staceym21AtLast · 04/01/2008 23:20

i was pg at 17, had dd at 17, was on the housing list from when i was about 5 month pg. we acctuallysorted out a part buy part rent place when dd was 19 months, so nearly 2 years later! i acctually checked on housing register where we were when we joined and where we were when we moved to ours:

we were band 2 btw (i.e. not homeless but overcrowded and 2nd most important)

we started being 1872
when we left we were 1651

so we moved up 221 places in 2 years!

if i'd have been made homeless like a friend of mine i'd have ended up in a b+b for nearly 3 years. i dont like the idea of that much either.

council housing is ludicrous these days!

leoleo · 05/01/2008 09:52

madm - i think that they have to give you two months notice to quit the property. Is it through a letting agent? if so give them a call it may have got lost in their system.
I hope it works out - they need to let you know so you can find somewhere

Divastrop · 05/01/2008 12:27

i think its unreasonable to judge everybody who claims benefits or gets a council house just because one slightly delusional 20 year old is abusing the system.
as i have said on other threads of this type,there are many people on benefits where i live who believe that all southerners are middle-class snobs with great jobs,living in posh houses and driving big cars.and they rant about how unfair it is that they have to cope on benefits cos there are no jobs up here.

i agree with madamez-if you are going to judge anybody it should be the government who have allowed this situation to develop.

KrippledKerryMum · 05/01/2008 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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