Have you ever fallen for someone’s mind

[Messenger199]

I’ve met this woman and I’ve completely fallen for her, but not because of the way she looks but for her mind and energy. She’s so smart and kind. She’s cute too but that’s not the main attraction here!

Have you ever fallen for someone because of their energy/mind? This is all new for me.

Yes DH. He was and still is by far the cleverest guy I know. I mean this is true, he has every academic accolade in his field at his level. But he’s incredibly well read, smart and also very kind. I met him as a 21 year old (and I am not stupid- I have a PhD and I work as an academic for context) and he was the same age and I remember thinking ‘this guy is insanely brilliant.’ But he was funny and kind and in the long run, nearly 20 years on those are as important as his intelligence.

Yes,DH. Intellect and personality is very sexy.

That's what I always fall for. Men all kind of look the same to me.

Yes. My DH has a wonderful mind and is also kind and funny.
Though I must admit it didn't exactly hurt his chances with me that he also had a handsome face and the body of a Greek god :-)

Yes. A guy I met in my gym became a very close friend during lockdown, verging on something more. Everyone assumed we were a couple, or at least friends with benefits. To look at he was a beautiful man and the chemistry was incredible but mental rather than physical.

He was a criminal barrister and incredibly smart and well educated yet originally came from a working class background so he was a fascinating mix of intellectual and intimidating yet naive and almost childlike at times. He was like catnip for me. He challenged me yet told me how much he admired me. We had a very intense more-than-friendship until it began to implode after 9+ months. We were so alike yet just too different (which everyone had said from the beginning but I ignored them because I don't like being told what to do). I've never met anyone that I've been drawn to mentally like that. I felt destroyed when things fell apart, to the extent that I saw a therapist to help me get over him. It almost broke me.

We keep in occasional touch now (every few months or so). I keep my distance because he has the power to destroy me. That sounds dramatic but he's like a drug to me and he has his own issues. I miss him. I don't have that mental connection with anyone else in my life. It was amazing at the time but no good for me in the long run.

Yes, plenty of times.

Yes, it’s the only way I fall for anyone, as opposed to just have the hots for someone

Yes. I fell completely head over hells in love with someone because we were total soulmates and never ran out of things to say. Unfortunately it burned us both out and took years to recover from.

Yes! I met my DH through work (astrophysics academics) and he is the most brilliant person I know.

It's the biggest aphrodisiac

It's the only thing I've ever fallen for.

Dh is my opposite in almost every way. But I fell in love with him because he is the best person I've ever met. On paper it should've been a disaster. Nearly 20 years later, he's the best decision I've ever made.

DH, amazingly intelligent, kind and funny, so quick at picking ideas up.

Yes, my husband.
Incredible mind and very witty. Makes me howl every day.

Yea DH and I bonded coz we couldn't work out all the big wordz in Dear Deirdre in the Sun. Deffo a meeting of mindz.

@BalloonSlayer

Yea DH and I bonded coz we couldn't work out all the big wordz in Dear Deirdre in the Sun. Deffo a meeting of mindz.

Me and my DH love having a drink on a Sunday and having a good Dear Deidre sesh with the pile of papers my Grandad gives me to line the guinea pigs' cage 😂

People laughed when me and my partner got together. As above on paper it looked ridiculous and I know people thought it was superficial. Truth is he has me absolutely captivated, his little quirks and funny little things he does. He never came across as overly intelligent (that sounds awful I’m aware) but we have the most deep conversations, he clearly just hides it!

Gosh where do you find these men?!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Erm. University?

What do you mean by “mind”? Personality or intelligence? Personality... Erm yes isn't that everyone? A dick/face only goes so far. Intelligence... How are you measuring that then?

I can't imagine being attracted to someone without it being largely for their mind. Looks alone do not make someone attractive imo.

This is normal, surely?

Nope. I mean, I loved my partner 15yrs ago for lots of reasons, but it wouldn't have progressed if I didn't find him physically attractive.

I didn't fall for his mind. There were aspects of his personality I really valued and aspects I probably would have changed if I could. But you can't.

No one is perfect. And as time goes on, you come to see even more of a person; the good and the bad.

Thinking someone is "perfect" for you isn't healthy. Because relationships don't work like that. It's a fine balancing act and lots of work and patience.

You absolutely can fall for someone's mind, but not in isolation. In my opinion at least

Of course - that's why I married DH. I didn't fancy him initially but we just clicked perfectly and I knew from the day we met that I wanted him in my life, even if initially nothing romantic crossed my mind. I fancy him now though

I think I am quite bright and articulate. I remember being flattered as a teenager when a guy said I was the least drippy girl he had ever met . My ex was intelligent and his family looked up to him as the “guru” He hated it if I was ever better at anything than he was .

@BalloonSlayer

Yea DH and I bonded coz we couldn't work out all the big wordz in Dear Deirdre in the Sun. Deffo a meeting of mindz.

Please take a sadface photo of you both holding said paper while scratching your heads, captioned NOT MENSA MATERIAL BUT IN LOVE.