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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd ghousted

41 replies

Peachplum29 · 11/03/2022 20:02

Hi,

I just wanted to know peoples opinions on this. 2020 I was speaking to a guy, had a few dates got on well but in December the same year he randomly deleted me off everything, no explanation as to why or a sorry or anything just woke up to be deleted.
Fast forward to now after all that time and he has re added me and sent me a message of long time no speak etc, acting as if nothing happened. Wwyd?

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 11/03/2022 20:03

Block him and move on.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/03/2022 20:04

Ignore him and block, obviously. Why would you even consider communicating with him again?

Febrier · 11/03/2022 20:05

I pronounced this as "goosed-ed" which made me think of someone coming up behind you, making you jump but then rudely blanking you and walking off.

I would ignore, but Bored Panda has taught me that the correct response nowadays is, "Who dis?"

AHungryCaterpillar · 11/03/2022 20:06

I wouldn’t reply even to say who is this, he knows you know so will just look petty, ignoring is best, surely you are not desperate enough to reply?

Overtherainbow12 · 11/03/2022 20:07

If he can drop you like that once he can do it again. I would delete his friend request and ignore the message x

Aquamarine1029 · 11/03/2022 20:07

He's looking for an easy shag. You do realise this, right?

Readyforspring · 11/03/2022 20:07

Ask who's this?
When he says who he is reply sorry name doesnt ring a bell?

FrodoAteMyRing · 11/03/2022 20:10

Block him! You have to value yourself more than that! He only texted you because he doesnt have anyone better around him at the moment (better in his opinion).
If you answered him and got things going again, as soon as he finds someone else that he deems better than you, he would ghost again! Never make someone a your priority when you are just an option to them!
That is what you are to him, an option to pass his time with until better comes along. Say No to that BS and block him.

HollowedOut · 11/03/2022 20:12

Block him and never think about it again.

Cas112 · 11/03/2022 20:13

Just ignore him

Original poster
Peachplum29 · 11/03/2022 20:16

I Forgot to add. He is claiming he has evaluated things in this time and that he is ‘more mature now’...

OP posts:
LawnFever · 11/03/2022 20:18

What a twat, just block/delete/ignore him and move on.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/03/2022 20:18

@Peachplum29

I Forgot to add. He is claiming he has evaluated things in this time and that he is ‘more mature now’...
Haha! Sure. He's just horny now and you're his back up plan.
Crimeismymiddlename · 11/03/2022 20:18

He is just shag fishing, how embarrassing for him, what a desperado!
Just ignore and stick in the archive, blocking is only for people who harass, not people who you could not care less about.

FrodoAteMyRing · 11/03/2022 20:19

@Peachplum29

I Forgot to add. He is claiming he has evaluated things in this time and that he is ‘more mature now’...
He sounds like one of my ex's. Does his name start with an N ?

Dont listen to him, he is full of sh+t. Men say a lot of crap to get into a womans pants.

Rainbowqueeen · 11/03/2022 20:21

A more mature person would learn from their mistakes but not potentially confuse and upset the person they ghosted but reaching out to them again.

He just wants a shag and has run out of other options.

GoogleWhacked · 11/03/2022 20:24

Just ignore and block 🚫
Don't even give him the satisfaction of saying who's this?

ButtockUp · 11/03/2022 20:25

Just get rid.

LIZS · 11/03/2022 20:27

So no contact for a year or more and suddenly he is bothered. Hopefully you have moved on. Ignore and block.

BridgesofMadisonfan · 11/03/2022 20:28

There's a great thread on the relationships board about ghosting.

RedRoseRay · 11/03/2022 20:28

Block and ignore.

But the fact you’re even doubting what to do makes me think you; a- have low self esteem, b- have probably already replied to him, c- know he’s going to treat you badly but you’ll put that to the back of your mind because he’s paying you attention right now and you like that, d- you’ll be back on here soon feeling gullible and hurt when you realise he hasn’t changed and was looking for an easy shag.

Don’t settle for him.
Have higher standards.
Demand more respect.

WorraLiberty · 11/03/2022 20:31

His wife probably found out and made him delete/block everyone he was chatting to.

Maybe they've split now and that's why he's back on the scene?

Thumpkin · 11/03/2022 20:33

Not a chance I’d be replying to someone as rude as that. A year?! Who gives a fuck if he’s evaluated himself and realised he’s been immature? You aren’t his therapy homework.

FarmGirl78 · 12/03/2022 08:31

I've got an alternative option to "Who dis?"

Let's say his name is Steve. Text him saying "Hi Dave. SO glad you messaged, - I was JUST thinking what a great night we had. So glad I gave you my number. Not had that much fun in years. Laughed so much, and WOW you certainly know how to tickle my fancy".

Just send that. You'll either get no reply, or a very confused one that you laugh at.

Jedsnewstar · 12/03/2022 08:41

I Forgot to add. He is claiming he has evaluated things in this time and that he is ‘more mature now

Go for it! If you don’t have an ounce of self respect.

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