To be shocked by the wealth on Instagram

[Daisypowers]

I deleted my social media accounts about 6 years ago, I just got sick of it. As a result, I've lost touch with a lot of uni friends and people I used to work with. I've been happily getting on with my life, progressing steadily but happily with my career etc.

Today I (reluctantly) logged into my old Instagram account to look at my cousin's wedding/honeymoon photos (she got married abroad and I couldnt go). I saw reems of posts from people I used to know (mostly aged around mid 30s) who all appear to be insanely wealthy these days. It looks like a few have married into wealth, but I really can't work out where the rest get their money from?! I know Insta is all about showing off the best bits, but there's just endless feeds of big house purchases, holidays, ski trips, spa breaks, kids taking riding lessons, expensive meals out. I'd literally have nothing of this sort to post on Insta!

Everyone else seems to have bought nice houses in and around London (£500k/600k+) in the past few years which has blown my mind. And renovated them, furnished and decorated them beautifully. While also affording to go on 3-4 holidays a year (despite the pandemic). How?!

How have all these people who all left uni at the same level as me become so stratespherically more financially successful in the same period of time? Many of them have very middle of the road middle management jobs and I can't imagine they earn much more than me and DP to be honest.

First of all, the accounts you're following are only showing the best. So you see consumption, you don't see people having egg and chips for tea, sitting in their joggers farting, having quiet weekends at home because they can't afford to do much before payday. You're also probably noticing the people who post that kind of stuff not the people who don't.

Then, some of the things you mention aren't necessarily that expensive, especially with groupon and the like. It's not that hard to get reduced offers for spas if you go at unpopular times, or restaurants, and people often get vouchers for Christmas. It's a lot easier than it used to be to get hold of expensive looking trappings, iyswim. Designer handbags second hand on Ebay, that type of thing.

Also for holidays in particular this is a bit of a weird time because there are people who booked and paid for holidays in 2019 who still haven't been able to go/went last year. It's cumulative. My holidays aren't particularly expensive but I've had several of them since restrictions lifted, more than usual.

The big thing is housing really, and so much of that is about when people got on the ladder. If you're mid 30s, some of your friends could still be reaping the benefits of both sets of parents having been able to give them ten grand a decade ago, if they've done enough moves. Smaller amounts of help can be magnified and multiplied.

I know someone from about 10 years ago who has quite a following on insta, I still bump into her as she is local and she tells me stuff about her family. The picture on the gram that she paints is COMPLETELY different, I was actually embarrassed for her. She'll stand outside the local prep school for "the school run", even though her dc go to the local primary. Her holiday snaps are in St Tropez, but she's actually staying in a caravan park 150 miles away. She put her Christmas tree up in 'the drawing room', but she lives in a tiny 3 bed terrace with one reception room (that opens onto the street. Despite #lovinglife and #makingpreciousmemories I know she is chronically depressed and has been putting her dc to bed at 6pm with a DVD to watch since they were a year old.

I’m going to start an Instagram account with me in my studio

Bare light bulbs without lampshades
Thrift shop chic
One plate, knife and fork
No cooler
Pizza boxes and kindle carrier bags everywhere

I’m going to charge people to look at my Instagram pictures to make them feel better about themselves

Reverse psychology😉

• No cooker

• Lidl not kindle!

@seekinglondonlife

I know someone from about 10 years ago who has quite a following on insta, I still bump into her as she is local and she tells me stuff about her family. The picture on the gram that she paints is COMPLETELY different, I was actually embarrassed for her. She'll stand outside the local prep school for "the school run", even though her dc go to the local primary. Her holiday snaps are in St Tropez, but she's actually staying in a caravan park 150 miles away. She put her Christmas tree up in 'the drawing room', but she lives in a tiny 3 bed terrace with one reception room (that opens onto the street. Despite #lovinglife and #makingpreciousmemories I know she is chronically depressed and has been putting her dc to bed at 6pm with a DVD to watch since they were a year old.

Ok that is actually tragic, in many senses of the term.

Re holidays, we used to travel quite a lot because I look out for £9.99 flights (although I think they are a thing of the past now 😭) and take the dc out of school. Ds is disabled and we get several holiday grants, which usually covers basic accommodation. We used to do 10 days in Spain all in for £1k, including car hire, food and spends.

@HardyBuckette it really is, I don't know how she has the gall to do it!

Don’t be fooled op. Neighbour of mine puts pictures of herself on Instagram and Facebook of her in the summer in her swimming pool, of her in her open top Mercedes looking gorgeous, etc. We both live on a council estate in housing association properties. The swimming pool is in fact a large paddling pool (photographed at an angle so you only see her in water) the car is 10+ years old and again snapped from an angle so you can only see the steering wheel and car emblem. Nice enough lady but not as glamorous when she’s down the co op in her trackies . I take a lot of stuff on there with a pinch of salt.

Don't be taken in by it - a couple down our road were constantly posting amazing photos in 'their' palatial house. They failed to mention that they had never paid any rent and were just there until they were evicted (and moved to the next palatial squat). In the time they were there they had a number of £100k+ cars - every single one of them was repossessed after a month or so (but not before lots of phots on insta).

I'd just delete IG if I were you.
Who cares what they have or haven't got.

You are probably wrong about what they earn.

I overheard two friends speculating on what I earned. One said confidently "I'm sure she's on £60k. The other said "I don't think so, it won't be more than £50k for that role". I'm on £115k all in. My job title doesnt say a lot unless you know the industry I'm in. Also DH and I are quite thrifty

Lots of people I went to uni with or did NCT with (now late 30s/early 40s really lucked out on property chains. Bought flats fairly soon after uni on graduate salaries of 40k, then caught the big property boom of 2012/3, maybe married someone who also had a flat, sold one of them to buy a house, got another equity boost recently. I know a couple of people who scrimp and save and have decent enough houses but a couple of friends have bought mansions lately and it’s been a combination of good luck and timing in both the job and housing markets, plus inheritance. You seem to need all three…

Instagram is mostly a lie. Dd had an event linked to her hobby at a prestigious school. I posted a photo of her talking part in the event (clearly stating she was attending the specific event). Rumour came back to me that Dd was moving to that school - she’s currently in state school and event was at a £40k per year school. I didn’t intend to give that impression but I guess people didn’t read properly but many would have implied it in the deliberate hope people would think their dc attends said school.

@RhodaDendron

Aah, but are they happy?...

I know what you mean OP.

A lot of responses are focusing on houses but this is only a small part of what OP is reporting on. Our household income is around 150k (DH has his own business so it does fluctuate) which i know is a lot but when I look at what some people are doing and spending when I have a good enough idea of their jobs, level and what those jobs pay I'm often like is it coming from, where?!?!

We haven't really applied for credit in a long time but I thought lenders had really cracked down on unsecured credit.

@Questiontellme

I know what you mean OP.

A lot of responses are focusing on houses but this is only a small part of what OP is reporting on. Our household income is around 150k (DH has his own business so it does fluctuate) which i know is a lot but when I look at what some people are doing and spending when I have a good enough idea of their jobs, level and what those jobs pay I'm often like is it coming from, where?!?!

We haven't really applied for credit in a long time but I thought lenders had really cracked down on unsecured credit.

I think housing is the most difficult thing on OPs list to get on the cheap, really. Things like holidays, meals out, spas etc can have wildly varying costs.

@Bellalastrasse they’re flipping happy with their houses! Other areas of life I guess as rough and smooth as everyone else’s…

I know a woman, who I just see on SM nowadays (she’s quite active online) rather than IRL. She’s a real social justice warrior / shouty feminist type, and has been banging on about the rising cost of living. And wringing her own hands about it, too... (she’s SAHM & her husband is a musician).
In the same breath, she’s asking where she should eat on her trip to Paris. Having just come back from two weeks in Ibiza, with the fam.
Always wondered about her, and a mutual friend who knows her well, revealed that it’s Rich Dad syndrome. Makes sense!

You'd be amazed at what you can borrow these days with a long mortgage. I looked it up the other day and we could borrow enough for a million pound house with a repayment not that much more than our current mortgage by maxing out the term. I can't afford a million pound house!!

For us though, we should (all being well) be able to afford more in a few years by increasing wages as we're at an age where that's likely, living in a smaller house than we can afford until then, and stopping paying for full time childcare when the kids start school. A combination of luck, family help, and working hard in jobs we were strategic about where decisions made years ago are starting to pay off. As far as I can tell the slog is around 25-35 for most people.

@seekinglondonlife

I know someone from about 10 years ago who has quite a following on insta, I still bump into her as she is local and she tells me stuff about her family. The picture on the gram that she paints is COMPLETELY different, I was actually embarrassed for her. She'll stand outside the local prep school for "the school run", even though her dc go to the local primary. Her holiday snaps are in St Tropez, but she's actually staying in a caravan park 150 miles away. She put her Christmas tree up in 'the drawing room', but she lives in a tiny 3 bed terrace with one reception room (that opens onto the street. Despite #lovinglife and #makingpreciousmemories I know she is chronically depressed and has been putting her dc to bed at 6pm with a DVD to watch since they were a year old.

That is sad.

All on finance
Faked (eg photos outside houses/cars that aren’t theirs, cars on weekend loan, designer clothes ordered and tried on for photos but then returned)
‘PR/Gifted’ - some mug has given an influencer a load of freebies they could never otherwise afford in order to flog them to their audiences to could also never afford them but feel pressure to buy them because some div on IG is flogging it to them under the guise of being their approachable, girl next door, social media mate
Good jobs - though most people I know with well paid, professional jobs aren’t showing off on Instagram
Inheritances

Two middle managers earning £50k each, can borrow £475k. I don’t know how old you are, but assuming they’ve been saving £300 a month, each, for ten years, they have a deposit of £72k. Plus inheritance. Plus help from bank of M&D.

So, no, buying a £500k house, as a couple, is not hugely unreasonable.

Surely it also matters where they live? Our joint income is just over £55k, both working ft, but, as we are in the north east we have a 4 bed detached house, under quarter of a mile from an outstanding primary and secondary school. We have (usually) 2 x all inclusive holidays a year, but we book them a year in advance (when we come home from the last) and the kids are young enough that taking them out of school for a few days isn’t an issue if it saves us £1k on holiday costs, we prioritise these though - I drive a 12 year old car with 95k on the clock, we shop in Aldi and I spend no more than £65 a week, we have ft childcare costs and a 30 year mortgage (we are mid 30s) no inheritance or handouts but chosen to stay in the area we grew up for the lifestyle being much cheaper