To think Mothers’ Day opt-out e-mails are triggering in themselves?

[HelloKittyGirl]

I mean, they are asking you to think about Mother’s’ Day, aren’t they? And to make a decision about it.

How is that really any better than the emails they’re saying they want you to be able to avoid?

I’d prefer to get an email asking if I don’t want Mother’s Day emails than ones all about celebrating motherhood any day of the week.

I’ve had several, but they’ve never bothered me. I can understand that they may be upsetting for some people, but my DM died at 97 after years of advanced dementia, so it really was a merciful release.

I did find it strange and a bit emotional for the following couple of years, though, to think that after so many years I no longer had a mother to think of, on Mothers’ Day.

They do do ones about fathers day too. I find I get less of those due to the nature of the companies I subscribe to, but there are some (Waterstones sent one last year, I think).

I’ve lost my dad and I find opt-out emails much less triggering than ones that say things like “show dad you love him!”, “show dad you care about him this Father’s Day” especially the first couple of years, I used to think I wish I could!! An email saying “click here if you would like to opt out” is much less triggering.

@FoxBaseBeta

I agree, both my parents are dead and I just delete generic mothers/fathers day emails without a second thought. These type really, really get to me though, I find them far more intrusive. A lot of people find them helpful though, so I just delete them while feeling a bit irritated.

Same here. I do still engage with Mother's Day as a recipient, being a mum. That's fine. The hushed tones 'sensitive' opt out messages are far worse and remind me of my loss. Agree that it comes across as virtue signalling.

I’ve had a couple of these and thought it was really sensitive, they’ve improved my perception of the companies that sent them. No good deed goes unpunished.

I think it's fine.
You only have to do it once don't you, and then you will never get it again.
Companies do it because customers are upset about getting the emails. I seem to remember interflora was one where they would send reminders and also to suggest repeats of the previous year.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't

@balalake

The better option would be for an annual opportunity to opt out of emails, listing the reasons some may be sent. Those about Christmas, about Easter, about holidays, and Mothers and Fathers Day.

It would not be at the time when there is loads of marketing about Mothers Day and so perhaps less upsetting.

But you might want to opt out of e.g. Mother's Day but not Easter. That wouldn't work. I should think most people will cope better with one email saying 'opt out of Mother's Day emails' than a slew of Mother's Day emails.

I think they are pointless

Info about Mother’s Day is all over the shop

It is much better to get one email a few weeks before asking if I want to opt out, than get an email on the day telling me 'celebrate your awesome mummy!' on the precise day when it is the most hurtful.

Asking once a year wouldn't work - parents can die at any time, what if your Mum had only passed a month before?

@Luredbyapomegranate

I think they are pointless

Info about Mother’s Day is all over the shop

You’re mentally prepared for that. It’s not nice to be surprised when you open your inbox to find its full of “mothers are wonderful” emails.

🤷‍♀️ I miss my mum a lot anyways.. I think you have go to find a way to live along side this stuff, or you never learn to manage it.

I agree, I have received way more opt-out emails than I ever receive actual emails about Mother's Day.

It’s better to have 15 opt out emails rather than 15 Mothers Day emails once or twice a week for 4-6 weeks. The amount of pestering marketing for Mothers and Fathers Day now is absurd.

But the opt outs need to be easier. A checklist that you can access at anytime by a link would be ideal. Or make certain emails opt in at sign up.

It’s completely different in shops as you have at least some control over when you go or which section to visit. Most people who find these days difficult don’t want to stop other people enjoying themselves.

Is it possible to set up a 'rule' on email accounts so that anything which mentions any key words you don't want to see, will just be sent straight into a junk folder? That might mean you never have to see even the opt out emails?

I think it’s a bit odd. They don’t ask if you want to opt out of anything else, like Valentine’s Day. Maybe rather than sending an email saying “do you want to opt out of other emails” they should stop sending so many bastard emails!

With that logic companies just can't win

Ofc they can, The post above yours has it.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

I think it’s a bit odd. They don’t ask if you want to opt out of anything else, like Valentine’s Day. Maybe rather than sending an email saying “do you want to opt out of other emails” they should stop sending so many bastard emails!

I would guess that’s because many people find Mother’s Day upsetting than Valentine’s Day.

I don't get the whole premise at all

If you’re tired of getting so many “bastard emails” it couldn’t be easier to unsubscribe.

@LampLighter414

I don't get the whole premise at all

You don’t understand why some people find Mother’s Day hard?

The opt out emails tend to be factual. The emails people might want to avoid are the emotionally charged ‘give your mother the best Mother’s Day ever’ or ‘show your dad how much you love him’. And personally I’ve had opt out emails for Valentine’s Day too.

Agree with others - it's the emotive language. I have a different experience from others in that my mum is still alive, but she was abusive to me all of my life.

The tone of a lot of the emails absolutely deifies mothers in a way that I find really, really difficult to deal with. I've just had one that was basically going: mums give up their own hopes and dreams to give us life and encourage us to achieve ours... they keep us safe, warm, fed and happy... let's make sure we give them the small gift of [insert brand here].

I was like, nope, my mother resented me from the second I was born and spent 30 odd years utterly determined to keep me squashed down under her heel. Unless you're selling one of these lovely mothers, [insert brand here], you can fuck off!

Life is triggering. That's how it goes.

I lost my mum at a relatively young age, and I avoided MD until I became a mother myself (and even then, we've never done much about it). I had to accept that people at work or wherever would be taking about taking their mothers out for the day, or complaining about mothers who had the DC after school two days a week and sent them home fed and with their homework done.

It's life. Life can be shit. I still miss my mother, quite acutely sometimes, but I don't want to take the enjoyment of MD away from other people.

It’s better to have 15 opt out emails rather than 15 Mothers Day emails once or twice a week for 4-6 weeks. The amount of pestering marketing for Mothers and Fathers Day now is absurd.

This is true. I used to work for an online gift retailer and they got to the point where they were sending out emails about Mother's Day/Father's Day twice a day, every day, for almost a fortnight leading up to the day. This was before the days of opt-outs. We used to get customers ringing up asking to be taken off the mailing lists entirely because of it.

But the CEO wouldn't budge on it because 'Mother's/Father's Day are our most profitable periods outside Christmas' so she just wanted to spam everybody relentlessly until they bought something.

I get it, kind of; a company can't be responsible for all people's feelings all of the time. And there's always the unsubscribe button (and opt-outs, now). But it left a sour taste in my mouth all the same. I left the company not long after and haven't worked with them since.