Colleague constantly biting nails and picking scabs

[melonsalad]

I work in a small office environment.
There's a woman on the team who is constantly biting her nails (often till the actually bleed) and picking scabs and spots. It's at the point where being around her makes me wince, I feel ill. The biting noise goes through me and she even does it when in meetings or speaks to senior people. Maybe a nervous thing but its disgusting for everyone around her.
She's a nice person but these dirty habits make me sick.
Usually the 2 of us have to share a corner of the office so we are always in close proximity. WWYD?
Obviously I don't want to cause any trouble at work or come across nasty but she literally makes me feel sick. Most days my lunch ends up in the bin as I lose my appetite.

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

Poor woman. She's probably very anxious. Nobody enjoys hurting themselves, but it's a compulsion.

Agreed. Have some empathy and put your earphones in.

Oh god OP, I do the skin picking and it’s very much related to anxiety for me. Ukraine and overthinking means my fingers are now in shreds and I’m trying really hard not to do anything with my feet.

In an open office I did used to wind it in, but would then sneak off to pull / bite or snip at the edges of my nails so it is definitely compulsive. Speak to your line manager if it’s having an impact on you, equally it isn’t fair on you listening / seeing it.

How absolutely disgusting and repellent. There is no way you should be subjected to this at work.

As a nail biter I'm not sure what I'd be able to do about it if people asked me to – I've tried creams, nasty tasting liquids, false nails, paint, plastic tape, rubber band snapping etc and nothing works.

So from that view there's not much that can be done to make her stop.

Eating the scabs would freak me out a bit though, but if it's a condition all you can ask for is to be moved tbh.

I am a face picker. And I chew my nails. I have an anxiety disorder. I don't even know I am doing the picking most of the time, it's usually on my cheek near my ears as I work, scratching myself as I am anxious.

I've tried everything for my nails. Been doing it since a child. I don't bit them mega short but I do try not to.

Although I get it (I also have misophonia, the irony) that you don't like it do try and have se empathy with someone who is clearly struggling.

Sounds like a body focused repetitive behaviour, I suffer from this myself and my nails, arms, fingers are really sore. I'm embarrassed about this habit but I literally can't stop it. Only if I wear gloves which I do do sometimes but can't always type in them.
Ive been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and this BFRP is a common part of it.

I know its horrible for you but she isn't doing it on purpose and I'm sure would be mortified to know its affecting your appetite. Can you eat your lunch elsewhere?

Look we all have our issues.. the morbidly obese colleague that needed a special chair.. the one who comes in with alcohol on their breath and goes straight for a coffee and a fizzy vitamin.. the one who ferociously picks every last piece of skin from their fingers…. the one who constantly begs for compliments because they’re self esteem is shot.

You can’t say anything, just like you wouldn’t say anything to the colleague who needed a new chair.

This makes me worry. I anxiously bite my lips, inside cheeks and the skin around my nails. I hate it but I don't even realise I'm doing it. I wish I didn't. And now I'm more anxious that people notice that I do it and think I'm dirty and disgusting. Tbf I do use hand sanitiser constantly as well, even if it stings.

I've got misophonia, and I wouldn't be able to handle the noise of biting or picking her nails. Literally I couldn't handle it, misophonia is a neurological condition, with no cure.

I'd have to have earphones or ear plugs in, and probably move desks, or just try my best to not see her doing it.

I appreciate she probably can't help it, but it doesn't make it any less stomach turning. I'm not squeamish usually, have watched live autopsies, and have seen some pretty grim crime scene photos. But picking scabs and eating them, that's just gross.

@melonsalad

Thanks for the replies, wasn't expecting so many tbh. Just to clarify, the colleague doesn't pick her skin till it bleeds (as in the medical condition some of you suggested), she picks at scabs and spots, then eats them. I should have been clearer. Lets say she has a spot on her face, she will literally sit picking it, pulling the crusty bits off and openly eating them. I have sympathy for people with skin conditions but actually EATING sores pulled off her face, head or back grosses me out. Makes me feel all itchy.

Sounds like she has a MH condition or may not be neurotypical.

So she has a Protected Characteristic.

Which means the ridiculous suggestions of confronting her or assaulting her with loud noises as though she's an animal would be interpreted as bullying and make it possible that you could face disciplinary action.

You'll just have to look in a different direction for another job. Maybe turn your desk so you face the wall instead or get a full length partition?

It’s dermatilomania. I have it. It’s awful. She won’t be able to help it, it’s compulsive. It’s embarrassing. I don’t eat scabs and can understand why that would be gross to watch but it’s compulsive for her and not something she’s doing to purposefully make you uncomfortable. I would be mortified if anyone said anything to me about my skin picking. I do try and not do it front of people but it is a subconscious habit and so she might not be aware she’s even doing it half the time. The only thing that might help her is fake nails but I don’t know how you’d broach the subject with her. Unless you said something like ‘I’m thinking of getting acrylics have you ever tried them? My nails are so short and sometimes I bite them and so I’m going acrylics might help me’ maybe it would plant the seed but I wouldn’t say anything directly about it

It's difficult. I don't suppose she wants to do these things but you are not being unreasonable to find them unpleasant. I worked in a school with a colleague who had had a car accident at 18. It had triggered a psoriasis type reaction. She used to sit in the staffroom at lunchtime picking the skin off her arms and dropping it on the floor. It would settle in front of her in a semi circle like when a buzzard pulls the feathers out if a pigeon. It may be cruel of me but it absolutely turned my stomach. It would just lie there until the cleaners went in to hoover it up at night.

Trying to figure out how she has so many scabs to pick and eat, surely it must be the occasional one and not all the time?

Twice I’ve come to this thread now and realised I’m picking as I scroll. My ex used to snap “stop picking” which would make my anxiety rocket and provoke a visceral reaction.

I’m not flaying myself for the shits and giggles. It hurts and I’m embarrassed by my hands which lol like I’ve been stripping a rusty engine.