Colleague constantly biting nails and picking scabs

[melonsalad]

I work in a small office environment.
There's a woman on the team who is constantly biting her nails (often till the actually bleed) and picking scabs and spots. It's at the point where being around her makes me wince, I feel ill. The biting noise goes through me and she even does it when in meetings or speaks to senior people. Maybe a nervous thing but its disgusting for everyone around her.
She's a nice person but these dirty habits make me sick.
Usually the 2 of us have to share a corner of the office so we are always in close proximity. WWYD?
Obviously I don't want to cause any trouble at work or come across nasty but she literally makes me feel sick. Most days my lunch ends up in the bin as I lose my appetite.

I'd be twice as nervous and biting my nails even more if somebody were scowling and chucking their lunch away because I disgusted them so much, too.

Christ are you always this dramatic?

It's called dermatillomania and it's a form of OCD.

I hope your seniors and colleagues are more compassionate than you are.

I've done this all my life and do it more in stressful situations. I hate it and don't do it for fun or a dirty habit. I don't even realise I'm doing it a lot of the time and have to hide how awful my hands are. It's a form of anxiety and OCD and a recognised condition, so I think YABU. I doubt she wants to do it or is doing it to annoy you, so a little understanding is needed, as with any MH condition

Thanks for the replies, wasn't expecting so many tbh.
Just to clarify, the colleague doesn't pick her skin till it bleeds (as in the medical condition some of you suggested), she picks at scabs and spots, then eats them. I should have been clearer. Lets say she has a spot on her face, she will literally sit picking it, pulling the crusty bits off and openly eating them. I have sympathy for people with skin conditions but actually EATING sores pulled off her face, head or back grosses me out. Makes me feel all itchy.

@melonsalad

Thanks for the replies, wasn't expecting so many tbh. Just to clarify, the colleague doesn't pick her skin till it bleeds (as in the medical condition some of you suggested), she picks at scabs and spots, then eats them. I should have been clearer. Lets say she has a spot on her face, she will literally sit picking it, pulling the crusty bits off and openly eating them. I have sympathy for people with skin conditions but actually EATING sores pulled off her face, head or back grosses me out. Makes me feel all itchy.

Then look away.

@melonsalad

Thanks for the replies, wasn't expecting so many tbh. Just to clarify, the colleague doesn't pick her skin till it bleeds (as in the medical condition some of you suggested), she picks at scabs and spots, then eats them. I should have been clearer. Lets say she has a spot on her face, she will literally sit picking it, pulling the crusty bits off and openly eating them. I have sympathy for people with skin conditions but actually EATING sores pulled off her face, head or back grosses me out. Makes me feel all itchy.

Your colleague eating the skin that she picks off is still a medical condition, btw.

@melonsalad

Thanks for the replies, wasn't expecting so many tbh. Just to clarify, the colleague doesn't pick her skin till it bleeds (as in the medical condition some of you suggested), she picks at scabs and spots, then eats them. I should have been clearer. Lets say she has a spot on her face, she will literally sit picking it, pulling the crusty bits off and openly eating them. I have sympathy for people with skin conditions but actually EATING sores pulled off her face, head or back grosses me out. Makes me feel all itchy.

😩🤢🤢

It’s a mental health condition, she’s not doing to be gross or annoying, I understand it’s not pleasant, I’m quite sensitive to noise and would get really distracted and annoyed listening to a certain colleague who would constantly sniff and another who would breath so heavily, but they can’t help it, if it bothers you that much you need to ask to sit somewhere else or don’t look.

I do all of what your colleague does. I try not too but when I am stressed or anxious or even just have empty hands. We don't mean to do it and if it makes you feel any better, it makes us disgusted in ourselves too. Even if it's absolute angony picking it, I still carry on.
I think you need to be a bit more understanding that she is compelled to do this it's not a habit of biting nails.

@melonsalad

Thanks for the replies, wasn't expecting so many tbh. Just to clarify, the colleague doesn't pick her skin till it bleeds (as in the medical condition some of you suggested), she picks at scabs and spots, then eats them. I should have been clearer. Lets say she has a spot on her face, she will literally sit picking it, pulling the crusty bits off and openly eating them. I have sympathy for people with skin conditions but actually EATING sores pulled off her face, head or back grosses me out. Makes me feel all itchy.

That would make me feel sick too OP. The effect it’s having on you is important too. I’d feel very anxious about sitting next to someone making themselves bleed on purpose and eating spots! Sadly, I’ll struggle to shift the mental image for a while so I can only imagine what it’ll be like sitting next to her.

I understand she might be struggling but it’s not fair on you either. Can you not move?

@PAFMO Is this you?
If so, please don't do it! Maybe you don't realise - but it's really not nice.

I don't think you're overly squeamish OP. Her hands are in her mouth and are sometimes bloody and she then presumably touches shared things like door handles. She's clearly struggling and needs help, and it may help her if someone she trusts lets her know is not OK workplace behaviour and supports her to get help.

@melonsalad

Thanks for the replies, wasn't expecting so many tbh. Just to clarify, the colleague doesn't pick her skin till it bleeds (as in the medical condition some of you suggested), she picks at scabs and spots, then eats them. I should have been clearer. Lets say she has a spot on her face, she will literally sit picking it, pulling the crusty bits off and openly eating them. I have sympathy for people with skin conditions but actually EATING sores pulled off her face, head or back grosses me out. Makes me feel all itchy.

Oh my fucking god this is probably the most vile thing I've ever heard in my life

DH is a constant picker. It literally drives me mad, and he isn't even aware he's doing it most of the time.

I did get an airhorn once to blast at him, but I wouldn't recommend it as the dogs nearly shit themselves. But sound aversion is known to help, perhaps you need to get a tub of paper clips or something and rattle it when she's doing it? Or make a ball of elastic bands and snap them.

I wish someone biting their nails would put me off my grub.

I’d pay them a fortune, all the weight I’d love to lose.

She likely has anxiety but I do get that you hate the noise. I have a colleague who I sit right next to who is always chewing loudly and I hate hearing people eat. I put headphones in and put music on.. is that an option for you? I don't think there's very much else you can do. I tend to listen to music with headphones so it's not obvious to her that when she starts eating I'm actually drowning out her chewing by putting my music on.

I do this (skin picking) and have the disorder and it is definitely disgusting. I don’t eat my scabs though! Honestly if you know her well enough I would say something like “I’m really sorry if this comment embarrasses you but do you mind not picking your scabs in the office”. It’s really not an unreasonable request is it? It needs to be said for both of your sakes.

People always assume it’s anxiety but nail biting is often a habit done out of boredom or control.

However your reaction to it is extreme and therefore that makes it your problem not hers. You need help

This may help her, and others:

www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/123-n-acetylcysteine-for-trichotillomania-skin-picking-and-nail-biting

Pot luck. Helped about half the people on the trial.

I bite and pick the skin on my fingers constantly, its not a conscious thing, I dont stop though, its constant and they get sore and bleed.

I didnt know it had a name, I just know its connected to my agitation.

So now thats another bloody thing Ive got wrong with me.

I am sorry but I'm with OP. If I had to share a space with someone who ate scabs I would be adding to the issue by vomiting on the desk.

Speak to your line manager who can figure out a sensitive way to approach.

I fully get the psychological background to these issues, as an obsessive skin picker myself, but I feel people need to be made aware when they are doing it in shared spaces so they can take steps to stop.

It’s called dermatillomania, closely related to trichotillomania. I have suffered from both since childhood, sometimes badly and sometimes under control. She cannot help it, it never goes away. You can just learn to manage it.

She is probably aware you are watching her and it makes it worse, maybe concentrate on yourself.

I do this as I’ve said. I just don’t think it’s ok to say op needs to suck it up. It is really icky to see and she’s entitled to want to move.