Help needed- Snoring

[Jambalaya76]

Sorry for putting this in the wrong place, not sure where it should sit for maximum audience.
My husband and I both snore. He falls asleep first, then I nudge him as he is snoring, this goes on for a while. Then I fall asleep and start snoring and he nudged me. This can go on for hours. We are both exhausted. We are both in our 40's and quite fit and healthy and have been together 20 plus years. the snoring has only been happening the past couple of years. This makes us extremely tired and grumpy the next day.

I am after pillow recommendations for a quick fix while we are looking into other things. I haven't a clue what to look for though. Any recommendations for us to try before we end up in separate rooms which we both definitely don't want to do. Thank you for reading

My snorning was shocking OP.I have recently been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea. I have a CPAP machine and from Dh I gather I snore no more! I cannot tell you the differnce its made. The diagnosis came totally out of the blue Might be worth getting checked out for that,even if it is just something to be ruled out. I tried everything before from nasal strips to new pillows to stopping drinking to watching my diet more carefully.Nothing helped. I feel a million times better. Start with your GP, Best Wishes

Vitamin D can help

Thank you for your replies. Can anyone recommend any pillows though please?

Not sure a pillow will do much to be honest. Do you snore in a certain position ?

@Iputthetrampintrampoline

My snorning was shocking OP.I have recently been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea. I have a CPAP machine and from Dh I gather I snore no more! I cannot tell you the differnce its made. The diagnosis came totally out of the blue Might be worth getting checked out for that,even if it is just something to be ruled out. I tried everything before from nasal strips to new pillows to stopping drinking to watching my diet more carefully.Nothing helped. I feel a million times better. Start with your GP, Best Wishes

Sorry to hijack the thread OP, but Iputthetramp can you tell me more about the Cpap machine? Are they noisy? Did you try one before you bought one? I snore terribly and my OH ends up in the spare room most nights. Someone else mentioned the CPAP machine in passing but didn't get any more info than that....

Watching as dp leaves me sleep deprived every night for years snoring

My DH has 5 pillows to my 2, not a special type though. His snoring is much worse when he eats snacks close to bedtime.
I always sleep with an earplug in my uppermost ear.

My dh wore a gum shield type thing...you mold it by soaking it in hot water, then fit it to your teeth/gums. It helps to keep the lower jaw from falling back into the throat/neck...so kind of pushes lower jaw forward into an underbite position. He wore it for years but as a result, it pushed his teeth back so had to wear braces for 2 years to bring them back into position and the orthodontic lady, gave him a plastic see through brace thing that a)keeps his teeth in place and b) keeps how lower jaw forward. It helps but certainly doesn't cure it. He or I are often in the spare room to get some sleep. He also has hay fever all year round and has prescribed antihistamines which have improved things as have nasal sprays like beconase. But as I say, none of this completely stops his snoring...CPAP will be next thing I guess!

Separate rooms is bliss, not sure why you are anti it.

We go to bed together. DH always wants to go to sleep earliest so he goes off the spare room 🤷🏽‍♀️

There's a difference between sleeping in separate rooms and 'ending up' in separate rooms. You can get into the same bed, snuggle, read, or whatever, then when it's time to turn over and go to sleep, one of you slips into the other room. In the morning, first one awake joins the other preferably with a cup of tea.

For anyone being kept awake by snoring I recommend white noise played through sleepphones (there are loads of other brands available). If there's a lot of disturbing transmission through the mattress you might want to look at two mattresses side by side, or two beds.

Sorry to ask this, but if you have a spare bedroom @Jambalaya76 why on earth do you 'not want to sleep in separate rooms?'

It's untenable for 2 grown adults to share the same bed indefinitely ... Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, and NOBODY should be suffering this. It's bad for your physical AND mental health.

If someone has a spare bedroom it's batshit to not use it. It's all lovely and romantic to sleep in the same bed when your relationship is in the early stages and you're in the first stages of your romance. But the novelty wears off. Men start to snore by around their early to mid 30s, and it is IMPOSSIBLE to share a room.

I think it's very old fashioned and dated to assume a couple absolutely should share a bed.

Sod remedies and shit. Make the spare room your own.

@amicissimma

There's a difference between sleeping in separate rooms and 'ending up' in separate rooms. You can get into the same bed, snuggle, read, or whatever, then when it's time to turn over and go to sleep, one of you slips into the other room. In the morning, first one awake joins the other preferably with a cup of tea.

For anyone being kept awake by snoring I recommend white noise played through sleepphones (there are loads of other brands available). If there's a lot of disturbing transmission through the mattress you might want to look at two mattresses side by side, or two beds.

Exactly! Me and DH decided to sleep in separate bedrooms - It was when we had been married 10 years/living together for 13. It didn't affect our sex life one bit! As I said, it's really dated and old fashioned to assume a married couple should sleep in the same room.

DH was a bit about it to start with, as he worried 'people would talk...' I said 'I don't give a flying fuck. I NEED TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP!' He had kept me awake with his snoring for some 4 or 5 years, as his snoring got worse and worse really quickly. And my nerves (and health) could take no more. I said divorce or separate rooms? Your choice.

Separate rooms it was. DH was fine with it after a few weeks, and actually enjoyed having his own room. I could never go back. If we split or he died, and I ever had another relationship, I would never share a bedroom.

Absolutely baffles me why people moan about being kept awake by snoring and how grumpy and tired they are when they could get a lovely nights sleep in the spare bedroom. I just dont get it. Just be in bed together for snuggles, watching tv, whatever else you may want to do then when its time for sleep go into the spare room and go to sleep. Sleeping in separate beds doesnt mean you have a bad relationship, it means you want a good nights sleep. When i told my friend me and my bf regularly sleep apart because of his snoring she looked horrified. I was like whats the issue? Just because im with someone doesnt mean i have to put up with his annoying as fuck snoring all night!

Husband was an awful snorer. He recently started sleeping on my ikea v shaped pillow as he has a shoulder issue. No more snoring.

@RandomMess

Separate rooms is bliss, not sure why you are anti it.

We go to bed together. DH always wants to go to sleep earliest so he goes off the spare room 🤷🏽‍♀️

I'd kill for a spare room with a bed in it! I love sleeping solo.

@userxx we even sleep separately when we go to his parents 🤣 fortunately their spare bed is too short for him so I get the bed and he has the study floor

DH snored terribly. Like sleeping with a vacuum cleaner 6 inches from my ear, all night long. I was at breaking point.

He was googling solutions and one said to sleep more upright with an extra pillow. He tried it and OMFG, it worked! He hasn't snored, bar the very odd 5 minutes or so, for a month. I can't believe the solution was so easy. It's truly life changing ( no spare bedroom in our house).

We have bamboo foam pillows. They are quite solid. I sleep on my side with just one. With DH using two, he is fairly upright but says it's not uncomfortable.

We bought ours at Costco for about £20 each. They come in brown box with a panda on it.

@Thunderpunt I have a CPAP machine and it isn't noisy it provides a quiet white background noise. It's comfortable to wear and my sleep is now 100% improved. I now dream at night and wake up refreshed, I no longer feel extremely tired and needing a nap if the opportunity arose and I am so quiet, it took awhile for the family to get used to the peace!

If you snore you need to find out why you snore.

Being overweight and drinking is always an increased risk, so you need to address those first.

DH used to snore. He also had sleep apnoea and was having 50 non breathing episodes an hour. He then had a stroke. He now has a CPAP machine, and I get a decent night's sleep in the same bed as DH. I no longer sleep in the spare bedroom.

You both need to be investigated for sleep apnoea as the consequences can be very serious. It also means that you are probably unsafe to drive.

CPAP machines are quiet BTW.

I was diagnosed with sleep apnea too and I have to say that my CPAP really helped. My OH won’t try a sleep study and the snoring is terrible. I can’t believe he gets a full nights sleep so I have moved to another bed. But at least I get some sleep.

My OH won’t try a sleep study and the snoring is terrible.

He is at higher risk of heart attack and stroke. I hope he doesn't drive.

@Boxowine my sleep study took place at home, I collected equipment and returned this the following day for the results to be assessed. Would your husband consider this?

I was finally diagnosed with severe sleep apnoea two years ago, after years of snoring (and missed red flags by more than one GP, including the one who refused to send me for the sleep test I asked for, because I didn't fit the profile of an OSA sufferer). I have a CPAP machine with nasal pillows (rather than a full face mask) and I absolutely love it. It's really quiet - there's a slight amount of white noise but I find it soothing (and it's way better than the tinnitus I used to suffer when I was a snorer). It does whoosh a bit if I'm in a really deep sleep (so DH tells me) but I don't notice it.

Anyway, it's transformed my life. I had tried every kind of pillow, nasal strips, nasal spray, anti-snore mouth guard, wrist buzzer, giving up alcohol, losing weight and surgery for a deviated septum. Bottom line: I suffer from sleep disordered breathing and CPAP is the only thing that works.

@Boxowine

I was diagnosed with sleep apnea too and I have to say that my CPAP really helped. My OH won’t try a sleep study and the snoring is terrible. I can’t believe he gets a full nights sleep so I have moved to another bed. But at least I get some sleep.

My husband and I sleep in separate rooms because of his snoring but his health was suffering so eventually he seen the gp, she referred him for a sleep study but instead he got a consultation which led to a cpap machine, he was told it was so obvious he had sleep apnea that no sleep study was required. He's two weeks using cpap, its monitored remotely and he gets a weekly call to discuss progress, yesterday the respiratory nurse monitoring him adjusted the air pressure and humidity and this morning he was delighted with the difference that tweak made, after one night using it the improvement was really clear to see, he's feeling so much better and is losing that horrid grey colour from his face. The machine is almost silent and we're currently renovating the master bedroom and looking forward to moving back in there together (but I'll be keeping 'my' room too as I love to chill undisturbed in there). Sleep apnea is really quite dangerous, if your husband won't do a sleep study (which are done at home remotely now, maybe try a specialist who will work like ours did.

I snore! I’m overweight, not massively, bmi 27.
Last year I lost weight and the snoring stopped like magic! Put all weight back on again and now I’m back to snoring!