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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery attendance / absence. Is this the norm?

91 replies

Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 21:56

My 3 year old and 2 year old go to a small nursery, both receive the 15 hours free funding so go for two full days each week.

As you'd expect with toddlers they're no strangers to picking up all sorts so have had some time off here and there on account of things like D&V, temperatures and coughs throughout the pandemic, awaiting test results etc. Nursery wouldn't accept them in with anything that could be covid understandably.

The nursery also has a policy of: snotty nose = stay at home (which is fine by me)

So a few weeks ago before half term it was my son's 3rd birthday and we booked to take him to shreks adventure. It had to be on a Monday as that's the only day dad was able to come with us. DS needs an adult ratio of 2:1 because he has special needs and trips out need to be planned with military precision. I wasn't going to deprive DD of the trip just to send her to nursery so ofc she came too.

When I told the nursery they wouldn't be in that day as we were taking them to see Shrek for DS birthday I got a bit of a lecture from the nursery manager about booking it on a nursery day and whether I could have chosen another day. I said no.

She mentioned there had been a few absences and we needed to get his attendance up next term.

I was a bit Confused as nursery isn't compulsory but I was caught off guard so said right... ok then.

Since they've come home from nursery today they're clearly coming down with something. DS has puffy eyes and a cough, DD has a temperature of 39 and she's lethargic. I sent a text to let nursery know they won't be in tomorrow and why.

I'm just wondering is it the norm for nurseries to be on at parents about attendance?

DS starts school in September which is a different kettle of fish obviously.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 21:57

DS is 4 sorry, not 3.

I have a 4 yr old DS and 2 yr old DD.

OP posts:
nearlyspringyay · 07/03/2022 21:58

I can see both sides tbh. You're taking a funded place and then taking them to the cinema.

On the other hand if our nursery had a snotty nose stay away policy dts would literally not have been in nursery.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 07/03/2022 21:59

If it falls below a certain amount then funding won't be paid. I assume you're ok with making up fees if this happens?

oioimatey · 07/03/2022 22:02

snotty nose = stay at home

Their nursery would be empty, always. Surely!

As long as you pay for the place I don't see what the problem is. The nursery is BU.

pinksquash13 · 07/03/2022 22:02

I think it's a bit weird and I've not heard of it. Perhaps to do with the funding as another poster suggested. No snotty nose policy beyond ridiculous and if they want to up attendance that needs changing ASAP.

Original poster
Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 22:02

At the risk of being pedantic, it wasn't the cinema it was Shreks Adventure in London. A one off big treat for his birthday. It wasn't something we could just do any other time.

On the other hand if our nursery had a snotty nose stay away policy dts would literally not have been in nursery

Indeed. Every time they're off, bar one occasion which was a birthday treat, they've been off in accordance with their rules so I'm a bit Confused that I got a telling off about attendance.

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 07/03/2022 22:02

I think it's to do with the funding, even years ago when my dc were at a fund playgroup they had to prove that the funded children were actually attending. I guess it's not unreasonable when government money is being used

Not all old-school children have a lot of time off, I can see why they have to ask

CowsAreNotGreen · 07/03/2022 22:02

Thing is you're potentially taking a spot from someone else.

I think their snotty nose policy is ridiculous though

Original poster
Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 22:03

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

If it falls below a certain amount then funding won't be paid. I assume you're ok with making up fees if this happens?
Absolutely. If they said that to me I would tell them as much.
OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 07/03/2022 22:04

The nursery also has a policy of: snotty nose = stay at home (which is fine by me)

I know this isn’t your main question but I think this is a ridiculous rule.

On attendance, I believe there is a bit in the ofsted nursery guidance about how, although attendance isn’t mandatory, nurseries should show how they work with parents to encourage regular attendance, to set up good habits for school. Having said that, I’ve never had an issue from DD’s nursery with taking her out for a day here and there, and would be irritated by it. But it sounds like in this case maybe the nursery manager is taking that ofsted guidance a bit far?

Merryoldgoat · 07/03/2022 22:05

15 hours is available to ALL children over 3 so she’s not taking a place from anyone.

My children have both been ill nearly all the time during nursery and no one has mentioned it to me.

Readyforspring · 07/03/2022 22:05

Our pre school said its due to the funding they are taking a space of a child that needs a space.

CowsAreNotGreen · 07/03/2022 22:07

@Merryoldgoat

15 hours is available to ALL children over 3 so she’s not taking a place from anyone.

My children have both been ill nearly all the time during nursery and no one has mentioned it to me.

Shes taking it from another child who may want to attend that nursery but can't due to there being no space.
Readyforspring · 07/03/2022 22:07

Its the fact there's not enough pre school places some are waiting till the sept after they're 3, ie instead of starting jan or easter. Because theres no spaces.
Dd pre school has 18m waiting list.
My youngest is on the list since last july 2021 and have been told I'd be very lucky to get in this sept 2022

Original poster
Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 22:08

Nursery manager is quite regimented so it seems like she's taken the OFSTED literature about encouraging regular attendance and being firm about. That sounds feasible, I wasn't aware of it actually.

I do agree that the snotty nose policy is a bit bonkers as some kids have permanently runny noses.

That rule came about when runny noses became a symptom of covid to look for in kids i think.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 22:09

It's not a pre school, as in not attatched to a school. It's privately run and accepts children from age 2 - 5.

They're not at full capacity either

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 22:09

There is space for others. I'm not taking up space on a long waiting list.

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 07/03/2022 22:10

@Merryoldgoat

15 hours is available to ALL children over 3 so she’s not taking a place from anyone.

My children have both been ill nearly all the time during nursery and no one has mentioned it to me.

That would be true if there were an unlimited number of places but there aren't everywhere. Funding available to all does not equal places available for all.
CowsAreNotGreen · 07/03/2022 22:12

@Pollysforever

It's not a pre school, as in not attatched to a school. It's privately run and accepts children from age 2 - 5.

They're not at full capacity either

In that case as long as they are getting paid I don't see what the issue is. You've explained each absence so it's not like they have to worry about why they aren't there.
Original poster
Pollysforever · 07/03/2022 22:12

They're not running at full capacity. There is space.

OP posts:
Abouttimemum · 07/03/2022 22:13

I think you can’t help it when they’re ill and they won’t take them - that’s their policy. I’ve never heard of nurseries being so strict. But as pp said it might be to do with the funded place.

Mind I’ll take mine to the door no matter what state they’re in - if they want to send him home they’ll have to turn him away at the door!!

DuggeeHugPlease · 07/03/2022 22:14

This is news to me. I took mine out for holidays and day trips whenever I wanted to. Surely everyone makes the most of being able to do things like that in term time when it's quieter/cheaper before they start school and you're limited to school hols.

TokenGinger · 07/03/2022 22:14

@Readyforspring

Its the fact there's not enough pre school places some are waiting till the sept after they're 3, ie instead of starting jan or easter. Because theres no spaces. Dd pre school has 18m waiting list. My youngest is on the list since last july 2021 and have been told I'd be very lucky to get in this sept 2022
The list your daughter on is out of the norm. I work in eduction, and every single nursery across the whole of our borough is undersubscribed. Schools are changing their nursery admissions policies to allow for rising 2s and 3s, and reception places are also sorely undersubscribed, to the point that it's having an impact on staffing as there are too many teachers, not enough pupils, and therefore not enough funding to pay them.

I think people are missing the point here that this is one day that OP has taken her children out of non-compulsory education for her DS's birthday, who has additional needs and may well find it too overwhelming to go in busier periods (ie the weekend). All of absences have been due to the nursery's rules.

They're out of order, OP. The nursery still received the funding for the days that the children are on roll. I'd be a bit Hmm too.

Endofdaysarehere · 07/03/2022 22:14

Your dd has 2yr old funding because the government has judged that the safest and best place for her to be is in nursery, so yes, you will need to take them to nursery as often as you can (illness aside).

Any nursery would be the same.
As PP have said, if you book holidays for any reason while they should be in nursery you are breaking the terms of the agreement you have made. The nursery could lose money,

FTEngineerM · 07/03/2022 22:15

We pay but I don’t expect them to tell me about attendance.. it’s a service as simple as that.

If ours wouldn’t allow snotty noses literally wouldn’t be there.