To think this near accident was DP's fault

[bunpot]

I haven't passed my driving test yet so asking here for some perspective on whether this was out of DP's control /whether he did the right thing in the situation. I feel like he didn't.

We were driving along a country road and he decided to overtake. There was a bend ahead (it was a year ago so I'm hazy on exactly how far ahead it was). While we were overtaking, a car came round the bend towards us. DP sped up to try to finish the overtake and get back in lane, but there wasn't time and we were fast approaching a head on collision, so he had to break hard and tuck back in behind. Has anyone else ever been in this position?

To me it felt like a near death experience. He is usually not stubborn but he got really defensive when I suggested he should apologise to me for putting our lives in danger.

He made a mistake but I think I'd just let it go, unless his driving scares you generally. There's no point about thinking about near-misses as 'near death experiences'; all was fine, so just get on with it and hope that he's more careful next time he's in a similar situation.

Hopefully he scared himself not to do it again.
Tell him that one of the many,many rtcs attended in this scenario people are often fatally injured or disabled for life.

I suspect he scared himself shitless.

No point dragging up the past. All drivers have made stupid mistakes and luckily most of us walk away from them. No point hammering the point home a year later when luckily, none of you got hurt.

One of the scariest near misses I had in a car I was driving and I mis judged the situation. There was no incident just a beep from another driver. But over 10 years ago and I still remember it.

There was no one else in the car, but nothing anyone else would or could say would change the fact that only I truly understood how close it was and how badly it could have gone wrong.

I have done this before. I misjudged how fast the (bus) I was trying to overtake was and how quickly I could reach overtaking speed. There wasn't a bend ahead - it was a straight road - but I still nearly got me and my passengers squashed between two coaches. To this day I can only assume someone braked and gave me the moment I needed to pull ahead and out of danger. Much flashing of lights. It was my fault. Entirely. I would not DREAM of overtaking with an upcoming bend. Your DH is mortified. Men often express embarrassment by anger. Let it go. He'll have learned from it, irrespective what he says.

I think it probably gave him a fright op and hopefully won’t happen again .
It was a stupid thing to do overtaking on a bend and he probably shit himself. On occasion drivers do stupid stuff that’s how accidents happen reckless yes but no harm done so let it go .

Why are almost all of the contributors to this thread incapable of spelling brakes correctly?

@WheresThatCatGoneNow

Why are almost all of the contributors to this thread incapable of spelling brakes correctly?

Autocorrect , maybe ?

I don't know.

But it's damned annoying!

I spelt it incorrectly and I don't really know why. I think I did it unconsciously. Soz, pedants.

He made an error of judgment but still got you to the campsite safely. If this is the worst thing he's done over the course of an entire year I would really let this drop. Nobody's perfect.

He messed up. If he was defensive it’s probably because he was scared. Most people have fucked up at least once.

If my husband, who didn’t have a license themselves, brought up one of my mistakes a year later after a lesson of their own, I’d be pissed off. It would feel sanctimonious and very “armchair expert”. And as for the faux naïveté of “how can I prevent it?” Come off it. Only the driver can prevent their own driving mistakes.

Why on earth are you dwelling on this a year later???

If he were my husband, he wouldn't be allowed the car keys again

He sounds like an impatient idiot

It just sounds like he misjudged an overtake. Judging overtaking can be tricky.

Not if you are an experienced driver and do it safely. Which clearly isn’t what happened here.

He overtook too close to the bend, and it sounds like the car he was passing wasn’t exactly traveling slowly. He shouldn’t have carried out the manoeuvre.

He misjudged the situation. Not ideal and yes he is at fault but most people have misjudged it.
Expecting an apology is a bit weird.

LTB.

@Sugarplumfairy65

If he were my husband, he wouldn't be allowed the car keys again

How exactly would you stop a fully grown adult from getting behind the wheel of his own car?

@fairylightsandwaxmelts I agree.

@Sugarplumfairy65 if you make a mistake are you prepared for your non driving spouse to remove access to your car forever more? What a fucking ridiculous solution.

No one is going to ban me from driving except the police or the DVLA for medical reasons.

It was a year ago.
Entirely his fault. He’s probably defensive because he feels guilty at the risk, I expect he was probably shaken up at his own stupidity too and has learnt a lesson.

No good will come from bringing it up now!

[quote Whetheryouthinkyoucan]@fairylightsandwaxmelts I agree.

@Sugarplumfairy65 if you make a mistake are you prepared for your non driving spouse to remove access to your car forever more? What a fucking ridiculous solution.

No one is going to ban me from driving except the police or the DVLA for medical reasons.[/quote]
Its my car and no, in 30+ years of driving I've never made a careless mistake like that, nor have i had an accident or speeding ticket. I used to drive for a living and am a careful driver
If my husband drove so carelessly he would not get MY car keys again.
But MY husband isn't a dick so wouldn't have driven that way in the first place.