Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving kids alone

67 replies

Tictocrobot · 07/03/2022 07:11

Person A gets up early with kids and dog.

Person B fast asleep.

Person A takes dog for a walk (doesn’t disturb Person B) and leaves kids (4 and 7) watching TV.

Person B furious. Person A of the opinion that it’s no different to the kids going downstairs alone if we’re both asleep in the morning.

Who is unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tictocrobot · 07/03/2022 10:28

I completely get all the comments saying I was unreasonable too. I think you’re right: what’s good for one family isn’t necessarily right for another.
Moral: I should chill out a bit and he should give me some indication he’s leaving if he wants to take the dog out regularly first thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tictocrobot · 07/03/2022 10:29

@lifeuphigh

Person A of the opinion that it’s no different to the kids going downstairs alone if we’re both asleep in the morning.

Genuine question, how is it different?

The autism is a bit irrelevant because it sounds like it's normal in your house for kids to be downstairs alone while parents are sleeping. So why is it ok for them to be downstairs alone with both parents sleeping but not with one parent sleeping?

No this was his argument, but it’s not the reality. If both kids are downstairs, I’m awake (even if I’m upstairs). He is more skilled at sleeping than I 😉
OP posts:
SouthParkCovid · 07/03/2022 10:34

Person B should stop being lazy and get up.
Surely up early is par for the course with young kids.
Wouldn't dream of scrolling through my phone whilst a 4 year old is unsupervised

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 10:41

It's not lazy to have a lie-in once in a while.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/03/2022 10:46

Depends what the usually agreement is/ expectations are.

I’d generally hope person A would wake person B, or if an agreed lie in wake til they were up, but if it was a known expectation that someone always walks the dog at that time (without the children) I’d have wanted A to set an alarm. Ideally A would have taken the children I guess, but I know they’re not always easy to shift in the mornings.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/03/2022 10:47

I think it is different to having both parents upstairs, regardless of SEN If you think the other parent is with them, you don't respond to any problems as quickly. Take a smashed glass for example... I'd presume the other patent is sorting it, or least stop for dressing gown and slippers if it sounded like a two person job (comforting a child/cleaning up)If I knew the other parent wasn't there id be down the stairs in seconds!

Clymene · 07/03/2022 10:50

Can people really not see any discernible different between having a lie in thinking there is another adult in the house looking after the kids and having one when you're in sole charge? Confused

I'm a single parent and they're very very different things IMO/E

lifeuphigh · 07/03/2022 10:57

No this was his argument, but it’s not the reality. If both kids are downstairs, I’m awake (even if I’m upstairs).

Ah well that does it make different then. And yes I hear you on having a DH who is more skilled at sleeping Grin

WildfirePonie · 07/03/2022 11:10

Person B unreasonable.

MischievousBiscuits · 07/03/2022 11:12

@Skyeheather

Person B needs to either get up and walk the dog or get up and watch the kids if they're not happy. They shouldn't get to lie in while person A does everything.
Unless they're just back from a night/late shift or something, I completely agree with this.
Rosebel · 07/03/2022 11:16

Reading your update about your 7 year old being autistic. I think you were both a bit unreasonable but more person A.
He should have made sure you were awake but presumably you knew the kids would be getting up and the dog needed walking.
By the way he didn't get up early as a favour to you, he should be doing it because they are his children and part of the job description is looking after your own bloody children so your partner can have a rest.

NewMum0305 · 07/03/2022 11:30

I don’t understand these responses. If both parents had agreed parent A was getting and taking care of the kids, why is parent B being lazy? It’s not like she knew her partner was going out and refused to get out of bed. The whole point is that she believed there was an adult in the house looking after the children so that she could have what reads like a rare break, and that wasn’t the case.

She should have been told and she certainly shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about having a lie-in when she was under the impression that her partner was up and with the kids.

This website sometimes…

RedHelenB · 07/03/2022 18:54

Why didn't you read my post properly?

devildeepbluesea · 07/03/2022 18:58

B obviously. Why should A do all the grunt work?

Haven’t RTFT but if there’s a back story about this being B’s only lie in in decades then it really should be in the OP.

sharksarecool · 07/03/2022 20:26

I would be annoyed if I was person B.
If you normally take turns for lie-in, then if I was dozing in bed and heard a load of noise downstairs I would just roll over and ignore if I knew another adult was there to deal with it, but I would go and sort it out if I knew there was no adult down there.
Plus, what small children get up to in the 30 mins after they've just woken up tends to be less bad than when they've been awake an hour or two got bored of TV and decided to do painting.

DogsAndGin · 07/03/2022 20:41

If B doesn’t like it, he can wake up and look after his kids. Or take the dog out. ConfusedHmm

Woeismethischristmas · 07/03/2022 23:34

@girlmom21 I have children and a dog and it’s rare I’m still in bed at 6:30 tbh. My kids are older though so I’d be happy to leave them watching tv.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread