Annoying audience members in the theatre

[beverleybass]

Does anybody else ALWAYS seem to have seats right by the worst people in the theatre. I must just be unlucky.

This year saw Come From Away and was directly behind 3 women who kept chatting all the way through, including during really emotional and key moments and solos. Someone tapped them on the shoulder and told them to shush in the end which improved things slightly.

I also saw Cinderella and more chatters as well phones coming out constantly with their shining lights.

What is the point spending all that money on tickets to look at your phone or chat to people??

Anyway saw Mamma Mia as a birthday treat today and it was honestly the worst of the lot. People on my row playing musical chairs, people arriving up to fifteen mins late (and still being let in) the man to the left of me kept singing along with the songs, the people in front chatting and constantly zipping/unzipping bags and rustling noisy bags of snacks.

How hard is it to sit still and be quiet

@sleaf

When DH and I were in New York we went to a Broadway musical (Jersey Boys?) which was ruined for us by six drunken British women immediately behind us, singing loudly to every song and talking throughout. The theatre was packed so we couldn't move seats. Very annoying and spoilt the evening.

That’s funny @sleaf. I was about to comment on this thread that all this appalling behavior in theatres must be cultural because this type of crap wouldn’t happen on Broadway at all. And here you come saying it was a bunch of British people who drunk and disruptive while seeing a Broadway show. 😂

I went to the theatre recently, no probs at all, I don't think it's as common as you think

@JingsMahBucket

"I was about to comment on this thread that all this appalling behavior in theatres must be cultural because this type of crap wouldn’t happen on Broadway at all."

I think you're absolutely right and I commented something similar. I am a frequent theatre-goer in the US (although very rarely actually on Broadway) and never come across this type of behavior.

I think maybe it's possible that over here we have more respect for the artists and their craft.

@Illbeokay

It's also that mix between people (including some on this thread) telling people that if the experience is ruined then it's your fault because why didn't you tell them off for being annoying? Lots of people saying its not the ushers job etc, In fact some people have been refused refunds etc for leaving it to ushers

Others (including myself) have experience of telling people that they are being disruptive in some way, and being sworn at, intimidated and general aggression.

It's a mine field

Reasons I didn’t tell an usher:

1. There was none nearby
2. We were blocked in at the end of a row and everyone would have to move for us.
3. I didn’t want to miss any of it looking for an usher.
4. I didn’t want to create an issue or conflict as it would have been pretty obvious who’d complained.

I resorted to my death stare instead

@PhilipJoel
Bravo to the security team at The Drifters Girl dealing so professionally with the 2 members of the public wanting to bring in an entire fish n chip meal to watch the show!!

I hate it when people have phones out or keep talking at the theatre

I think singing along is fine if the cast ask you too for a particular song but not all the time

DameHelena You are definitely wilfully misunderstanding me.
To be totally clear though:

*Wilfully, eh? Because obviously people shouldn't act under their own will, but should adopt your views on things?

It is not OK to let a device flash a light in the cinema. And the 'faint light' thing is a lot of rot, and I'm sure you do actually know that a light in a dark room when people are trying to concentrate/be immersed is distracting and annoying. You just seem to consider it OK to inconvenience other people.

I can only admire the flashing strobe watch you must possess that lights up an entire cinema. I was imagining something rather feeble like the dim light produced by my admittedly not very new watch. The reason I'm imagining it is that I saw didn't notice it. I'm there to watch a film, not monitor people for random watch checking.

That doesn't make me dim or any of the other insults that have been thrown my way. It simply means that I was in a cinema, concentrating on a film. And my concentration was disrupted by someone shouting at my friend in an over the top reaction.

Shouting is definitely not ok. Neither is flashing lights but that isn't what happened. I was sitting 2 seats away from the shouty woman and I was completely unaware of any lights other than those on screen so it could hardly have lit up the entire cinema.

I like my friend, she is polite, gentle and well mannered. I'd far rather spend time with her than with a woman who thinks its ok to shout at people in the cinema because something annoys her. It depends on what you're used to, of course.

Why is it so important to you to try and label me? Of course I'm bloody "wilful". I have a will of my own. What an odd thing to say. Do you imagine you are a teacher in a school, telling off a naughty child or something? Are you normally so inappropriate?

Why do you think she was shouting? You didn't notice the flashing but she must have if she shouted. Your friend didn't do it once, it is annoying and rude. Surely an adult can manage to get through a film without constantly checking the time?

@ancientgran

Why do you think she was shouting? You didn't notice the flashing but she must have if she shouted. Your friend didn't do it once, it is annoying and rude. Surely an adult can manage to get through a film without constantly checking the time?

Because it was very loud and angry sounding. Aggressive, loud enough to startle me, loud enough to drown out the dialogue in the middle of a scene. As in being far too loud just for the people next to her to hear and possibly loud enough to be audible for a sizable proportion of the cinema, but at least the whole of that section of seating.

Presumably if your friend was so desperate to know what the time was through the film she could have checked more discreetly by covering the watch with her hand?

I can’t imagine someone complaining unless it had happened quite a few times. She was probably checking her messages etc.

@Cheshirecatwoman

Presumably if your friend was so desperate to know what the time was through the film she could have checked more discreetly by covering the watch with her hand?

I can’t imagine someone complaining unless it had happened quite a few times. She was probably checking her messages etc.

She wasn't doing any of that. This was before those watches you can do that on. She told me she checked her watch 3 times and that she had tried to cover it with her hand. I don't know why the woman blew up at her like that. I would have moved away from her if there were any spare seats. I don't know why my friend was checking the time, thats just way too much detail for me to know about.

@CognitiveDissolver it doesn’t matter how minor the brief flashing of a watch YOU seem to think it is. The point is, it was annoying someone else, end of. An apology is appropriate in this case, not defending your friend or her right to look at her watch.

[quote bendmeoverbackwards]@CognitiveDissolver it doesn’t matter how minor the brief flashing of a watch YOU seem to think it is. The point is, it was annoying someone else, end of. An apology is appropriate in this case, not defending your friend or her right to look at her watch.[/quote]
What would I apologise to a shouting aggressive woman for who had interrupted my enjoyment of the film?

It wasn't my watch, it wasn't my body it belonged to, I had seen nothing of this alleged minor brief flashing and I don't go around begging the forgiveness of people who have behavioural difficulties and cannot control their desire to shout in public.

There is more than one person in the cinema and sometimes we have to consider that other people might be more disturbed by random shouting than a brief flashing light might personally cause.

Aggressive shouting ruined the whole film for me. Thats what I was aware of.

I'm shocked that so many people think its ok to make your point with shouting loudly like that. I've seen it done in other settings too and it makes me cringe and think they're idiots. Did no one ever tell these people not to shout in public?

@CognitiveDissolver you do seem to lack the understanding that just because your friend’s watch didn’t disturb YOU doesn’t mean it didn’t disturb OTHERS. We are all different and react to stimulus in different ways. Why is that so hard for you to understand? My dd is on the autistic spectrum and finds certain noises intolerable. Should we be minimising her feelings and say oh it’s only a small noise etc? Or accept that’s it’s difficult for HER?

No one saying shouting is ok @CognitiveDissolver well I’m not anyway. But you are still minimising the effect of a seemingly minor thing that upset someone else.

Oh give it a rest @CognitiveDissolver

Your friend checked her watched enough times to royally piss off another cinema goer. I don't blame her for shouting, though I'd take your version of 'shouting' with a pinch of salt. You also pissed someone else off with your Malteser munching.

Learn some cinema etiquette and stop being so entitled.

*watch

@Supersee

Oh give it a rest *@CognitiveDissolver*

Your friend checked her watched enough times to royally piss off another cinema goer. I don't blame her for shouting, though I'd take your version of 'shouting' with a pinch of salt. You also pissed someone else off with your Malteser munching.

Learn some cinema etiquette and stop being so entitled.

So which part of me sitting in a cinema quietly watching a film is not observing cinema etiquette exactly? Please explain. I'm genuinely intrigued.

I admit the offence of eating the maltesers though.

Life must be very virtuous in some places.

Please don't shout at me though. I'll assume you can't behave yourself.

I can understand that you don't check your watch constantly if it lights up in a cinema as it's jarring, distracting and rude.

I'm also aware that eating loudly is also an annoyance for others so I don't do it. Pity you don't have the same comprehension skills.

For future reference you’re best taking something you can suck as it’s less jarring for others

I think lots of people are just not remotely considerate of others. I was brought up to always think about how your behaviour could be viewed by other people. All these social rules - being quiet in the theatre, speaking in a low voice on a train, not eating smelly food in an enclosed space in close contact with others - are about thinking how your behaviour impacts on other people.

I agree with this. It is a major problem - all about everyone's "right" to do what they want and not "responsibility" to consider everyone else around them.

I had been looking forward to seeing Mama Mia in a few weeks but am nervous now, with so many people who actually think it is a sing-a long show.

Yes very much this.

Also people can't leave their phones alone and perhaps it affects their concentration at these events?

When you think anything between 1 and 4 of 100 people are sociopaths (added to others lacking self awareness/empathy/drunk) then statistically in a crowd of hundreds or thousands there's going to be people being arseholes because they don't give a shit about anyone else.

It's just whether you've got some of these people around you at a show. If you go once the odds are reasonable that you won't. Go 10 times and the odds aren't great that at least one show could be spoilt.

@woodhill

Yes very much this.

Also people can't leave their phones alone and perhaps it affects their concentration at these events?

Agreed @woodhill how can we possibly setting a good example to kids and teens if adults can’t leave their phones alone for a few hours?

I go to a Pilates class, one woman has a smart watch which she checks throughout the class. The teacher doesn’t like it and tries to drop hints. But also what a shame for that woman that she can’t switch off for an hour.

Because it was very loud and angry sounding. Aggressive, loud enough to startle me, loud enough to drown out the dialogue in the middle of a scene. As in being far too loud just for the people next to her to hear and possibly loud enough to be audible for a sizable proportion of the cinema, but at least the whole of that section of seating. That doesn't answer the question does it. I said why do you think she was shouting. Do you think it was because your friend was annoying her or is there some other reason a woman would suddenly be so angry.

I think the likely answer is your friend did it several times, perhaps it was more obvious to her than it was to you and she found it annoying and distracting. You didn't like her shouting but maybe try and understand that she didn't like what your friend was doing so you told her off at the end of the film, fine as she had only done it once. She shouted at the time because your friend kept on doing it.

You didn't realise how annoying it was, now you do and you can see on here that lots of people would find it annoying. Don't do annoying things and people won't get upset. It's a win win.