Annoying audience members in the theatre

[beverleybass]

Does anybody else ALWAYS seem to have seats right by the worst people in the theatre. I must just be unlucky.

This year saw Come From Away and was directly behind 3 women who kept chatting all the way through, including during really emotional and key moments and solos. Someone tapped them on the shoulder and told them to shush in the end which improved things slightly.

I also saw Cinderella and more chatters as well phones coming out constantly with their shining lights.

What is the point spending all that money on tickets to look at your phone or chat to people??

Anyway saw Mamma Mia as a birthday treat today and it was honestly the worst of the lot. People on my row playing musical chairs, people arriving up to fifteen mins late (and still being let in) the man to the left of me kept singing along with the songs, the people in front chatting and constantly zipping/unzipping bags and rustling noisy bags of snacks.

How hard is it to sit still and be quiet

@CognitiveDissolver

DameHelena I don't think it's 'hectoring people publicly' to ask quietly that they turn off their device/stop talking. It's basic courtesy

You had to be there. There was nothing courteous about it. I almost jumped out my seat.

Ultimately, until or unless someone like you or your friend is decent enough to stop flashing lights or talking during a film, I don't care at all about your opinion on the matter.

Where did this talking suddenly spring up from? Neither me or my friend said a single word and I only spoke out at the end of the film to say I did'nt appreciate someone shouting during it. You've just made that up, haven't you? What is your motivation here? Have you been reprimanded for shouting at people or something? Has someone stood up to you and are you reliving it through this thread?

I want to watch films peacefully too and not miss the dialogue in a scene because someone is shouting.

I didn't say in your case it was quiet. I'm talking about what I do when people are being inconsiderate at the cinema.

And I wasn't talking specifically about you or your friend 'talking'. The clue is in the bit where I say 'someone like you or your friend'.

I want to watch films peacefully too and not miss the dialogue in a scene because someone is shouting.
I don't condone shouting But, a little tip: if you/your friend don't want to miss the dialogue or almost jump out of your seats, maybe try not flashing lights.

IME, US theatre/cinema audiences are always very well behaved. It's a completely different, and much better experience seeing a play or a film in the US.

@DillDanding

IME, US theatre/cinema audiences are always very well behaved. It's a completely different, and much better experience seeing a play or a film in the US.

Now, it was Philadelphia, but seeing the No knives. No guns sign in the cinema lobby was a lifetime first for me.

I always book end of aisle seats in the theatre or cinema incase we need to leave quickly ( ds has asd) or we need the toilet.why oh why is it always those who have seats booked right in the middle of a row turn up late making everyone else have to stand up to let them in? They then usually proceed to get up repeatedly for the toilet or bar again forcing everyone else to move for them. Last time we took the kids to the panto there was a group of very drunk people constantly heckling behind us, the usher kept telling them to stop but they didn't listen.

DameHelena I didn't say in your case it was quiet. I'm talking about what I do when people are being inconsiderate at the cinema.

And I wasn't talking specifically about you or your friend 'talking'. The clue is in the bit where I say 'someone like you or your friend'.

Golly. People like us. A dentist and an accountant, eh? Maybe they should introduce a check when we go in, lest we infiltrate the cinema with our slovenly northern ways (or in my friend's case, Spanish).

Has no-one ever told you that the phrase unless someone like your or your friend is decent enough is very rude? Almost as rude as shouting in a cinema. Are you the woman who bawled that night?

I don't condone shouting But, a little tip: if you/your friend don't want to miss the dialogue or almost jump out of your seats, maybe try not flashing lights.

I don't need your "little tips" on how to go to the cinema. I go to the cinema a lot. This is one of two incidents in that entire time where I have been disturbed by other people's shouting. It was a watch, with one single faint light, not some sort of disco strobe lighting.

All these little exaggerated comments, building on the insinuation you created earlier, is it a deliberate style you adopt, or is it something you are unaware of? Because the intent is clearly to upset people, and make them feel small and insignificant. And then you deny it to discomfort them still further. Do you not know how to give your message politely and non-condescendingly?

At this point I will direct you to Debretts, which consistently emphasises placing people at their ease. At no point does it suggest repeatedly micro-insulting people until they get their own way.

And why do you care so much? Did it happen to you? No. Why do you keep replying to me when I correct one of your little imaginary inaccuracies?

CognitiveDissolver why can you not understand that your friend's watch light may have been annoying for other people? Ok you didn't notice it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't distracting others. It's one of the things I find the most distracting - more annoying than people talking.
Rather than selfishly thinking about how much the woman's hissing/shouting ruined the film for you, think about how annoying the watch must have been for her to react like that.

@PliqueAjour

YANBU I've largely given up on cinema and theatre visits. Other people wind me up every time, so inconsiderate.

Yep. And people eating in these places drives me up the wall as well.

Chomp, crunch, slurp, rustle rustle...

Fuck off.

@CognitiveDissolver

DameHelena I didn't say in your case it was quiet. I'm talking about what I do when people are being inconsiderate at the cinema.

And I wasn't talking specifically about you or your friend 'talking'. The clue is in the bit where I say 'someone like you or your friend'.

Golly. People like us. A dentist and an accountant, eh? Maybe they should introduce a check when we go in, lest we infiltrate the cinema with our slovenly northern ways (or in my friend's case, Spanish).

Has no-one ever told you that the phrase unless someone like your or your friend is decent enough is very rude? Almost as rude as shouting in a cinema. Are you the woman who bawled that night?

I don't condone shouting But, a little tip: if you/your friend don't want to miss the dialogue or almost jump out of your seats, maybe try not flashing lights.

I don't need your "little tips" on how to go to the cinema. I go to the cinema a lot. This is one of two incidents in that entire time where I have been disturbed by other people's shouting. It was a watch, with one single faint light, not some sort of disco strobe lighting.

All these little exaggerated comments, building on the insinuation you created earlier, is it a deliberate style you adopt, or is it something you are unaware of? Because the intent is clearly to upset people, and make them feel small and insignificant. And then you deny it to discomfort them still further. Do you not know how to give your message politely and non-condescendingly?

At this point I will direct you to Debretts, which consistently emphasises placing people at their ease. At no point does it suggest repeatedly micro-insulting people until they get their own way.

And why do you care so much? Did it happen to you? No. Why do you keep replying to me when I correct one of your little imaginary inaccuracies?

People like us. A dentist and an accountant, eh? No, people who think it's OK to use a watch with a flashing light in the cinema. I don't mean to make you feel small and insignificant, just to give my opinion that your friend's behaviour wasn't OK and neither is your attitude towards it.

At this point I will direct you to Debretts
Lol.

Why do you keep replying to me when I correct one of your little imaginary inaccuracies?
Back at you, really.

Oh and no, it wasn't me; despite also being a 'slovenly northerner' by origin, I'm in London, many miles away from Morningside and presumably, thankfully, you and your equally inconsiderate friend.
Although there are ample inconsiderate people in cinemas down here too, unless you stick to indies and/or afternoon showings, which obviously I tend to.

@Loservilla

CognitiveDissolver why can you not understand that your friend's watch light may have been annoying for other people? Ok you didn't notice it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't distracting others. It's one of the things I find the most distracting - more annoying than people talking. Rather than selfishly thinking about how much the woman's hissing/shouting ruined the film for you, think about how annoying the watch must have been for her to react like that.

I just cannot imagine starting shouting at someone in the middle of a film because they looked a few times at their watch with its light on.

Do people often start shouting in the middle of cinemas when you go? Thankfully, its the only time its happened to me.

@cavalierkingc

Went to see only fools and horses recently and sat right next to someone with a worse laugh I've ever heard, basically shrieking. And she laughed at almost every line.

Same thing happened to us at the same show except it was a bloke. Also, the whole group behind us came in late absolutely wasted and chatted to the row behind at normal volume about why they were late. It was so annoying. Then not sure what happened but suddenly they were all up in the aisle yelling about calling an ambulance. So much commotion, after about 10 minutes they left. At the interval they were all back and nothing wrong (apart from being really drunk still!)

I absolutely hear you. We went to the adult version of our local panto. There was a group of four women who turned up late, drunk and proceeded to play musical chairs and chat to each other really loudly. The couple next to me politely asked them to keep it down and the women started shouting and swearing at them and calling the sad c*nts it was awful and absolutely no need for it.

I love going to the theatre and agree that it's such a shame a show can be ruined by audiences who don't know how to behave.

As others have said, West End shows generally aren't for kids, they're too long and expensive and most children don't appreciate them - I still remember my Mum treating me to front row tickets for Wicked which was spoilt by a child sitting behind me kicking my seat (I did tell her to stop and so did her Mum but she'd get bored and start up again) and her friend who kept asking her Mum 'is it finished yet?' after every single song during the second act. Also the child sat behind me in 'The Play That Goes Wrong' - again, forked out for front row seats for myself as a treat and he was talking loudly throughout the whole thing, literally trying to talk to the actors at some points and his parents just let him carry on.

Constant screeching laughter is also annoying. Every so often over a particularly funny joke is one thing, but at a panto last year one woman screeched after every joke - it was embarrassingly obvious she was hoping one of the cast would comment on it, luckily they all ignored her.

Some adults honestly genuinely baffle me, for example the ones who need to sing (and no, you can't sing during a musical - even if it is Mamma Mia!) or mouth along if they've seen the film/show before. I saw Mary Poppins for the first time last year after being rescheduled over and over again, and whilst it was an amazing show the woman behind me who had to keep muttering the words to herself did drive me insane!

On the fence about latecomers simply because although I always swear I'd rather just not go than arrive late to the theatre I was late once I completely misread the time on my ticket and thought I'd arrived 20 minutes early only to discover I was 10 minutes late! I was mortified and wouldn't have said anything to the woman on the doors if I'd known. She let me in and I joined another group of latecomers and we were taken down to the stalls and I was the only one remotely embarrassed - they were all laughing, whispering and one even asked if it was too late to use the loo. I've never been so grateful I was on an aisle seat in my life - it sounds a bit OTT but I was so embarrassed I avoided eye contact with the rest of the theatregoers during the interval! I don't understand people who walk in late, get half the row up and then faff around for ages before settling down.

And don't get me started on people having long conversations or who are constantly on their phone - you could've stayed at home and done that? Why have you forked out so much money to distract everyone else from something they want to see?

I just cannot imagine starting shouting at someone in the middle of a film because they looked a few times at their watch with its light on.
That's because you think it's OK for someone, in the middle of a film, to look a few times at their watch with its light on.

Given the price of tickets I can't believe the people that chat or look at the phones through the show.

Exactly! These people have also paid good money for tickets only to not bother concentrating on the show

@DameHelena

I just cannot imagine starting shouting at someone in the middle of a film because they looked a few times at their watch with its light on. That's because you think it's OK for someone, in the middle of a film, to look a few times at their watch with its light on.

I think its much the lesser of two evils.

Shouting in public is just awful. Beyond being mugged or something, in which instance it might be warranted. But in the circumstances described, disproportionate.

Maybe we should plan a MN night at the theater. Arrive on time ,no phones or snacks and drinks in the interval only. Please.can I have a.seat with a small person infront of me . I always.get.the 6 foot 7 bloke in front and I'm 5 foot 😀

@DameHelena

I just cannot imagine starting shouting at someone in the middle of a film because they looked a few times at their watch with its light on. That's because you think it's OK for someone, in the middle of a film, to look a few times at their watch with its light on.

I've been tempted to commit murder never mind shouting.

@DameHelena

I just cannot imagine starting shouting at someone in the middle of a film because they looked a few times at their watch with its light on. That's because you think it's OK for someone, in the middle of a film, to look a few times at their watch with its light on.

Of course it’s ok - how does looking at your watch warrant somebody standing up in the middle of a cinema and screaming? Are you the Sistine Chapel woman or something? You must walk around permanently in a state of apoplexy.

ReceptionParty Of course it’s ok - how does looking at your watch warrant somebody standing up in the middle of a cinema and screaming? Are you the Sistine Chapel woman or something? You must walk around permanently in a state of apoplexy.

Thank goodness. I was beginning to think I was describing a trip to a parallel universe, not a cinema.

I think people who resort to shouting so easily probably rely on the fact that people are too intimidated/deafened/shocked to say anything back to them, so they take it as being ok.

It isn't the looking at the watch that is the issue, it is the light distracting people.

Some people have no idea how to behave.

@CognitiveDissolver

ReceptionParty Of course it’s ok - how does looking at your watch warrant somebody standing up in the middle of a cinema and screaming? Are you the Sistine Chapel woman or something? You must walk around permanently in a state of apoplexy.

Thank goodness. I was beginning to think I was describing a trip to a parallel universe, not a cinema.

I think people who resort to shouting so easily probably rely on the fact that people are too intimidated/deafened/shocked to say anything back to them, so they take it as being ok.

No, people who shout are at the end of their tether. It builds up and the first time is mildly annoying, the second time is worse and then you start feeling stressed about it happening and then it does and you feel even worse. The woman wasn't shouting for fun or her own entertainment, your friend ruined the film for her just like your crunching Maltesers annoyed another innocent victim.

It's also that mix between people (including some on this thread) telling people that if the experience is ruined then it's your fault because why didn't you tell them off for being annoying?
Lots of people saying its not the ushers job etc, In fact some people have been refused refunds etc for leaving it to ushers

Others (including myself) have experience of telling people that they are being disruptive in some way, and being sworn at, intimidated and general aggression.

It's a mine field

When we went to see The Cursed Child we were next to two parents and their 10 year old. Turned out the 10 year old didn’t speak English. Once the play started, the dad proceeded to TRANSLATE EVERY LINE in a normal speaking volume. When we politely asked them to stop, they told us they didn’t want their child missing out and we could move if we didn’t like it. Child then got out a flashing wand. Couldn’t believe the entitlement.

Even at the ROH a woman in the box next to us got her phone out during Tosca! My companion leaned across and tapped her on the arm, she put it away immediately but even so. Tosca!!!!!!
I generally go for niche classical at places like the Barbican where you have a good chance of everyone there being absorbed by the performance. I go to the cinema during quiet times or the local art house indie. I'd love to go to some big popular shows but I can't afford a ruined night.
I get absolute rage at the selfishness and poor manners of people.

@CognitiveDissolver

ReceptionParty Of course it’s ok - how does looking at your watch warrant somebody standing up in the middle of a cinema and screaming? Are you the Sistine Chapel woman or something? You must walk around permanently in a state of apoplexy.

Thank goodness. I was beginning to think I was describing a trip to a parallel universe, not a cinema.

I think people who resort to shouting so easily probably rely on the fact that people are too intimidated/deafened/shocked to say anything back to them, so they take it as being ok.

It is interesting that you focus on the 'shouting' thing when I've said I don't shout or condone it. You are definitely wilfully misunderstanding me. To be totally clear though:

• shouting at people isn't OK
• hissing or whispering (same thing here really, you need a 'carrying whisper' in the cinema) are OK – well, necessary and less annoying than shouting
• It is not OK to let a device flash a light in the cinema. And the 'faint light' thing is a lot of rot, and I'm sure you do actually know that a light in a dark room when people are trying to concentrate/be immersed is distracting and annoying. You just seem to consider it OK to inconvenience other people.

ReceptionParty, see above about shouting. And, to repeat myself: no, it’s really NOT OK to use a device with a light in a cinema. It's inconsiderate and rude.