Page 2 | To find people talking to me about their work bloody annoying?

sairiegamp · 2022-03-06T22:07:57+00:00

I don't mean a social chat, I mean loved ones - DM specifically! - talking to me about their work, talking through he said she said stuff in meetings, and about peoples characters, and about the specific details of the work. Why do people do this? I find it so incredibly rude, like an imposition somehow. AIBU? Extra points of anyone can help me make sense of why it grinds my gears so much!

ThisBloodyNoiseInMyHead · 07/03/2022 09:11

My husband's sister is like that. On the odd occasion we hear from her - it's always when she wants help with something - she drones on, quite literally for hours, about every aspect of her job. From the action day-to-day tasks, the conversations with the boss, the number of emails she's sent, to the overtime she's had to do (she's WFH for 2 years now, despite the offices now being open).

I was really ill last year - on a ventilator with Covid, a stroke at the same time, and now I've been diagnosed with a brain tumour - but she will tell me how much stress she's got because she's got 30 emails to reply to

UnsuitableHat · 07/03/2022 09:16

People talking at length and in detail, particularly about people/situations I don’t know, annoys me full stop tbh- this may be more my problem than theirs, but I find it wearing, especially as people who do it don’t usually make much space for you to reply.

Nocaloriesinchocolate · 07/03/2022 09:17

Yes OP, incredibly frustrating! On the other hand my DS works in a very confidential environment and can never tell us anything about his working day other than “fine” or “difficult”. We’d love to know more, not in a nosey way but in a loving wanting to picture a vital part of our DS’s life sort of way!

Tittyfilarious · 07/03/2022 09:18

I shall don my hard hat here, but on any thread about sahm or being a housewife many posters point out that we are boring and we must have absolutely nothing to talk about because we don't have a job . This thread highlights what I always said ,that nobody is really interested in someone else's job anyway and I'm usually shot down for saying that .

Viviennemary · 07/03/2022 09:27

Hearing about people's holidays is far more boring I think. From what they did of didn't pack to the delayed journry and thats before they even got there.

MajesticallyAwkward · 07/03/2022 09:32

Does your DM do something interesting or that she feels is interesting? It is boring when someone drones on about people or events you have no connection to with no purpose other than hearing themselves talk. If you change the subject does she take the hint?

My job is fairly dull and no one really understands what I do outside the industry, I rarely talk about it other than the odd 'oh this weird/interesting thing happened' short anecdote. But my brothers job is pretty interesting, he can't tell us a lot but most people are riveted by his tales!

UnsuitableHat · 07/03/2022 09:33

Lol at other people talking about their holidays. I’m old enough to remember people inviting you over for a slide show!

SprayedWithDettol · 07/03/2022 09:35

I’m not sure it is rude, just boring.

littleburn · 07/03/2022 09:39

My ExDH did this! Every evening I'd have to hear in great detail all of the details of his very important job and the very important people he worked with and the very important things they had done that day. It was the most boring thing ever! My job is also pretty big and important but I would t assume the minutiae of it is of huge interest to others and certainly not on a daily basis.

littleburn · 07/03/2022 09:41

*wouldn't assume

TabithaTittlemouse · 07/03/2022 09:44

My mum does it. I think she does it because her job is really dull and she tries to convince herself that it’s exciting.

Dh on the other hand has a more exciting job so I don’t mind.

I want to leave work at work so can’t be bothered to talk about it.

littleburn · 07/03/2022 09:46

I think it's particularly rude/irritating because it's such a one sided 'conversation' as you do not know their work place or the people they work with, so essentially it's just monologing with you having to just sit there passively and listen.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 07/03/2022 09:50

To be fair I’d just be grateful she’s not telling you about what her dream was last night. Now that really does make me want to stab someone in the eye!

thepeopleversuswork · 07/03/2022 10:59

@Tittyfilarious

I shall don my hard hat here, but on any thread about sahm or being a housewife many posters point out that we are boring and we must have absolutely nothing to talk about because we don't have a job . This thread highlights what I always said ,that nobody is really interested in someone else's job anyway and I'm usually shot down for saying that .

To be fair I don't think its subject-specific. Anyone banging on about any subject to the exclusion of others and with a tin ear for what other people are interested in is dull.

I agree that long-winded stories of office life can be boring, but I don't think peoples jobs are intrinsically more dull than housework or childcare. I'd be just as bored by someone going on at length about little Timmy's teething problems or potty training as I would by office gossip.

It's how you tell 'em....

Blurp · 07/03/2022 11:05

My FIL does this and it's awful! He once cornered my sister at one of the DC's birthday parties and droned on at her for half an hour (bear in mind that she barely knows him, let alone having any real interest in his work). She looked shell shocked by the time she escaped.

Sadly DH seems to be going the same way, and is further hindered by not being able to tell a story without going off on tangents all over the place, so it's not just dull, it's also very confusing!

lemongreentea · 07/03/2022 11:06

@CheapFoodShits

YANBU. I love my friend but I practically know the ins and outs of their work computer system and what all of their colleagues' health conditions are at this point. And why do they always start their stories with "You know X?" No. No, I don't. Why in the ever loving fuck would I?

lol this!

I know my friends work colleagues better than I know my own!

ChattanoogaShoeShoe · 07/03/2022 12:31

YANBU! It was such a relief when my MIL retired - the thought of not hearing the ins and outs of the daily grind at her workplace.

Sadly, she's now volunteering at a local charity shop. Whilst this is a noble pastime, I really wish it didn't impact on me having to hear about the speed and accuracy of the other volunteers in intimate detail. Nor do I know who Vera is and I have no wish to hear about her piles, thank you very much!

Cleanbedlinen12 · 08/03/2022 07:01

I know! And now fil has retired the stories aren’t even new, the same old reminisce s fro back in the day 😀 guess we’ll all do it one day !

SaggyBlinders · 08/03/2022 07:07

It's normal to talk about your work to loved ones and I've never heard people complaining about it before.

No necessarily. None of my loved ones really know what I do because I never really talk about work, other than "fine thanks" when asked. If I've just spent 10 hours there then I don't need to relive my work day! Plenty of other things to talk about.

anotherbrewplease · 08/03/2022 07:09

not sure this thread was supposed to be funny - but it's made me laugh - a lot.

Thanks OP!

Ragwort · 08/03/2022 07:10

A lot of people are just boring full stop ... it doesn't matter whether they are droning on about their job, their children, their views on politics, their holiday, what they watch on tv etc etc .... many people seem to have lost the art of 'conversation' and don't respect social etiquette about listening, not over sharing and respecting other peoples views.

You only have to read some of the threads on here to realise that proper communication is a skill and so many people are very poor at it .

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 08/03/2022 07:13

DH does this.

He'll come home and tell me about Dave and Mark - I've never met these people - j don't why he thinks I'd be interested in where they went cycling last weekend or what they said to him in a meeting last Tuesday

He went on for half an hour once and in the end I just said "that's fascinating dear" and he got the hump

Oblomov22 · 08/03/2022 07:18

Rude? What an odd view. He's sharing news of his day - what he does at work, who he works with. that's a very large part of anybody's life. you're at work for eight hours per day, what else do you do each day? you get up, you go to work, you come home. what else have you got to share with your partner? I can't believe you see it is rude. it's a really odd view.

ClemFandangoo · 08/03/2022 07:43

@Tittyfilarious

I shall don my hard hat here, but on any thread about sahm or being a housewife many posters point out that we are boring and we must have absolutely nothing to talk about because we don't have a job . This thread highlights what I always said ,that nobody is really interested in someone else's job anyway and I'm usually shot down for saying that .

It’s true. So why on Earth do we as a society ask ‘what do you do?’ when meeting new people. We like to associate people with their jobs and seem to think they’re part of people’s identities but we don’t actually want to hear about them 🤣

bumblingbovine49 · 08/03/2022 08:07

It sounds like a monologue with her talking at you rather than a conversation and like you can't just gently tease her about how she is going on a bit or even just change the subject and have her follow your lead

Based on this all evidence and in reply to your question as to why it upsets you so much . My best guess is because it is your mother doing this and you'd like better more two-way relationship with her which she can't seem to give.