Should I go to CSA??

[kickasssinglemum]

Me and my ex-p split when our DS was a few weeks ago. Since DS was 4 months old ex-p started paying me £200 per month for maintenance. This increased to £350 on my request to cover half the childcare costs as we both work full time.

He has our DS overnight 2 nights a week (as he’s still a toddler). DS goes to childcare 3 days per week and I have him at home with me the other 2 days per week, while working a full-time job 5 days a week (I wfm these 2 days). My job is very stressful and demanding but I’m trying to keep the cost of childcare to a minimum.

We both have good jobs and earn well. Ex-p earns significantly more than me however. He is self employed so I don’t know how much exactly. However he owns 3 expensive properties (1 he lives in and 2 he rents out) as well as a mobile holiday home and drives a very nice car.

He has complained previously that he shouldn’t be paying me anything at all as I also have a ‘good job’ and that he only needs to “pay what he can”.

Childcare fees have now increased due to inflation so essentially there will be nothing left over from his current £350 once I pay half of his share of the childcare fees. I have asked him for more and he’s reluctant to increase the monthly payment anymore than £50 a month (so £400).

I pay for everything for DS and ex-p doesn’t pay for anything extra, except supplying what DS needs the 2 nights he stays with ex-p. We also share the driving for when DS stays with ex-p but ex-p doesn’t share the driving to nursery. I do all of that.

Ex-p has a new girlfriend and they frequently go on foreign holidays together and spend a lot of their weekends travelling around the country staying in 5* spa hotels. His girlfriend is much younger than him and wouldn’t be earning much at all to afford such a lifestyle, so I know he pays for everything for her.

I’m thinking I should go to CSA to get them to properly assess what ex-should be paying as I think it should be a lot more. Thoughts?

I don’t know ex-p’s NI number so is it a case that CSA will write to ex-p to ask him to provide details of what he earns?

If you go 50:50 you can ask to have first refusal for childcare, that is before he palms DS on someone else he has to ask you if you would like to have him instead.

@RandomMess

If you go 50:50 you can ask to have first refusal for childcare, that is before he palms DS on someone else he has to ask you if you would like to have him instead.

He wouldn’t tell me and his family would keep quiet too! He lies ALL the time.

If you base the calculation on £80k, minus pension contributions, and 2-3 nights per week, then CMS would award you about £450 per month. Can you negotiate something in this ballpark between you?

@AndSoFinally

If you base the calculation on £80k, minus pension contributions, and 2-3 nights per week, then CMS would award you about £450 per month. Can you negotiate something in this ballpark between you?

Is this correct? On a 80k salary? I thought it would be more tbh!

I’m going to discuss it further this him this week. If I do my homework on the figures and present those to him hopefully he will be reasonable.

A barrister would be highly unlikely to hide income, there are standards he has to abide by.
I would go to the CMS, it stops arguments about money as you just say the maintenance service are dealing with it and grey rock that discussion.
In my experience NRPs who ask for 50/50 don’t actually want it and in reality find eow difficult enough to adhere to.

OP check his earnings on company house !!!

@MunchyMonsters can you do that? There's a difference between what the company makes and what the person makes when it's a ltd company

It will give a bit of insight

He doesn’t have a limited company. We are based in NI so barristers don’t work for chambers but are self employed sole traders. They pay professional fees to the bar council to practice. I’ve spoken to him and he won’t budge on anymore than £400.

Think I would go to CMS just because it takes the negotiation element out of it.

@MunchyMonsters

It will give a bit of insight

Surely it wouldn't tell you much at all? He could rent costly premises out of that or pay other staff members a salary. CMS only look at what they pay themselves and a creative account (who will also be paid from the amount shown) will easily make that very little with out any risk

He doesn’t rent any premises out and he doesn’t pay any staff. His practice is as a ‘sole trader’.