AIBU - kids and alcohol free drinks

[GobblingWeasel]

Hi,
I've recently got into drinking 0% Martini Vibrante with tonic. Unfortunately DD10 has also decided she loves it too and would like an occasional drink of her own instead of stealing sips of mine! The idea of giving a child a drink modelled on an alcoholic version makes me feel uneasy even though it is alcohol free, but really does that matter? What do you think wise people, please help me decide!

Personally I wouldn’t at 10, there are lots of other child appropriate treat drinks she could have. I don’t think there’s something wrong with it as such, I just don’t think I’d allow it for my kids personally.

At 10 I wouldn't. (Although to be fair I a) don't have a 10 year old and b) have no idea what a martini vibrante actually is!!)
I don't think I'd feel comfortable giving a child anything that's actually a non-alcoholic drink created for adults. And I'm fairly liberal- my DS is allowed to drink coke which is an absolute no-no here apparently!!

I felt the same about my kids asking for Nozecco and couldn't really work out why.

I wouldn’t. I like some alcohol free beers but I wouldn’t feel comfortable about giving 13yo DN one.

When I was a child, we used to ‘smoke’ chocolate cigarettes, pretending to be like our parents - until we were old enough to buy the real thing.
You can’t buy them now - for good reason. It’s normalising the action of smoking in children. Letting children drink alcohol free versions of alcoholic drinks does just the same thing. It normalises drinking alcohol.

It does feel a bit icky, but I don't really know why.

I think I would let her have one occasionally as a treat because I can't see that there is anything really wrong with it. I think maybe denying her it just makes it all the more appealing.

Definitely not as a daily/regular drink though, but then I wouldn't let her drink coke or Fanta daily etc.

The difference is with smoking pretend cigarettes is that I don't want my kids to grow up fo be smokers but if they grow up to be moderate drinkers it wouldn't bother me.

DDs love Mocktails.

Would she like just the tonic. I have to admit to not seeing the point of alcohol free spirits, I just have the mixer...

My 13yo has nonalcoholic gin n tonic occasionally as it is quite refreshing

Never heard of this drink so I just looked it up. It contains both Potassium Sorbate and Sodium Benzoate both of which I try to avoid so I wouldn’t drink it myself or give it to a child. Potassium Sorbate is actually banned for use in EU and Canada.

I wouldn't be comfortable with her having her own either.

It glamourises drinking and will make her feel more grown up than she is. These "alcohol but not really" drinks aren't appropriate for kids.

Personally I'd stop with the little sips of yours as well. Just tell her "it's not a drink for children". There are plenty of "fancy" juices etc out there that she can "dress up" with fruit pieces, or put in a posh glass.

@Soontobe60

When I was a child, we used to ‘smoke’ chocolate cigarettes, pretending to be like our parents - until we were old enough to buy the real thing. You can’t buy them now - for good reason. It’s normalising the action of smoking in children. Letting children drink alcohol free versions of alcoholic drinks does just the same thing. It normalises drinking alcohol.

I think it depends on where your from. My family are French (although I was born in the UK) but when I was growing up we always had alcohol with dinner. I would always be aloud to try a sip of champagne if I was having food from the age of about 10. I don’t actually drink now as I just don’t enjoy it. I think because alcohol was allowed but in a controlled environment it took away the draw to it if that makes sense?

*also, at the age of 3 I went round and finished a few tiny glasses of champagne before my mum caught me (it was a family party and this she would not have allowed). Does make me laugh now though

I don't think I would mind on the odd special occasion although I see what you mean.

I remember being on holiday as a kid and having mocktails with dinner when my parents has cocktails. There was always fancy stirrers and those little umbrellas and even the odd sparkler and it always felt really exciting!

Nope. Those things are not for children.

I've given mines alchohol free champagne/ nozecco type stuff on a special occasion on balance they prefer appletiser in a fancy glass.

Maybe you could just give her the tonic with ice. You get really nice flavoured tonics now, it's my go to in the pub and I don't miss the gin.

If they're alcohol-free then I don't see the problem.

Alcohol-free drinks taste different to the proper drinks they're modelled on. If a child grows up drinking alcohol-free beer and spirits they will get used to the taste. So when they are able to start drinking properly, they're more likely to stick to the alcohol-free stuff, because the proper drinks will taste weird to them.

Preventing them from drinking alcohol-free drinks because of the branding will not discourage them, it will just glamourize drinking. When they become able to drink there will be no reason to go with the alcohol-free variant, they'll just hit the hard stuff.

Martini Vibrante has less than 0.5% alcohol, so not strictly alchohol free.

It's getting them used to the taste of alcoholic drinks, weaning them onto the taste and recognising the brand. Worse in my opinion than just giving a small sip of alcohol, as with that small sip would be a discussion of moderation and how it is something to drink in small quantities. Plus, crucially, she is likely to hate the taste of actual alcohol which would make the thought of drinking too off-putting to her. This way she doesn't have that; she learns it's delicious and no need for moderation. (By which I mean no ill effects from having too much). When she's old enough to drink the real stuff do you think she'll behave with caution, given she'll know no difference between that and fruit shoot? (You might tell her there's a difference, but subconsciously she won't know a difference because she's been drinking the stuff with no ill effects).

If you wouldn't let her take up vaping (mock smoking) I very strongly don't think you should let her take up mock drinking.

@MorningStarling

If they're alcohol-free then I don't see the problem.

Alcohol-free drinks taste different to the proper drinks they're modelled on. If a child grows up drinking alcohol-free beer and spirits they will get used to the taste. So when they are able to start drinking properly, they're more likely to stick to the alcohol-free stuff, because the proper drinks will taste weird to them.

Preventing them from drinking alcohol-free drinks because of the branding will not discourage them, it will just glamourize drinking. When they become able to drink there will be no reason to go with the alcohol-free variant, they'll just hit the hard stuff.

I want to address the point that alcohol free drinks supposedly taste different to the alcohol versions they're modelled on. This isn't really true; you don't get alcohol free vodka, as an example, because it wouldn't be possible to make them taste similar. Drinks companies only make alcohol free versions of drinks that taste very similar to the real thing, and this is particularly easy to do with sweet drinks, the type where you wouldn't really know if there was booze in it or not. The drink being discussed, Martini Vibrante, is fruity and sweet. The fruity sweetness hides the alcohol (or lack of it) - that's why it's a good virgin drink. These are the flavour qualities that also, worryingly, are most appealing to children.

Personally, I wouldn’t, at 10 I’m not sure how much you could explain about alcoholic vs non-alcoholic to her. She’s going to feel very grown up and tell her friends she’s allowed mummy’s martini.

Plus even though it has no alcohol, it does seem a bit like social drinking with a child and might give her the perception it’s okay.

At the end of the day, you know your daughter better than anyone on here, but it’s clear you are unsure as you’re posting on here. If your gut says no, that’s your answer.

I was allowed to drink from an early age - Pimms was the thing I loved! So my mum would do a tiny measure (like 1/3 of a standard one) and then add the lemonade.
I grew up around alcohol and seeing what it did to people and was more sensible with it than a lot of my friends because I could say "can I have a pimms?" And would get yes/no
Just put a tiny dash in rather than a full measure

If she likes the tonic then just do that, or she might like the more adult fruit sparkling waters as they're not sweet? Like dash or aqua Libra

It feels weird to me. Can't really explain why. Weirdly it feels like an adult thing even when alcohol free. Like a gateway drink or something. I'm not sure kids that young should have something that is modeled after alcoholic beverage. I feel similarly people drinking non alcoholic beer at work. There is nothing wrong with it but a gp having a can of Heineken 0,0% would be a bit off.

@NewPapaGuinea

Martini Vibrante has less than 0.5% alcohol, so not strictly alchohol free.

To be fair though, grape juice, apple juice and orange juice can all also potentially be around 0.5% ABV! I do t think it's the very low alcohol content that's the issue here. I agree it's almost like the chocolate cigarettes we had as children. It just makes an adult thing more appealing to a young child.

I want to address the point that alcohol free drinks supposedly taste different to the alcohol versions they're modelled on. This isn't really true; you don't get alcohol free vodka, as an example, because it wouldn't be possible to make them taste similar. Drinks companies only make alcohol free versions of drinks that taste very similar to the real thing, and this is particularly easy to do with sweet drinks, the type where you wouldn't really know if there was booze in it or not. The drink being discussed, Martini Vibrante, is fruity and sweet. The fruity sweetness hides the alcohol (or lack of it) - that's why it's a good virgin drink. These are the flavour qualities that also, worryingly, are most appealing to children.

But that's also true of coke, lemonade, orange juice etc. all the popular mixers. But we don't ring our hands about a ten year old having a coke and getting addicted to X and coke down the line, do we?

These non-alcoholic drinks are just the mixers basically, same as coke, lemonade, orange juice, any sweet, syrupy drink. Obviously not ideal for everyday, but also not linked to alcoholism down the line.

I wouldn't as they are not completely alcohol free and are chemically.
It's probably not much difference to bass shandy though I guess.

I do let my 10 year old dd have mocktails (juice and lemonade ina cocktail glass) and have a sip of my actual drinks; she likes pear cider