AIBU - kids and alcohol free drinks

[GobblingWeasel]

Hi,
I've recently got into drinking 0% Martini Vibrante with tonic. Unfortunately DD10 has also decided she loves it too and would like an occasional drink of her own instead of stealing sips of mine! The idea of giving a child a drink modelled on an alcoholic version makes me feel uneasy even though it is alcohol free, but really does that matter? What do you think wise people, please help me decide!

Another article here on how trying it at home won't prevent binge drinking

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/19/letting-children-try-alcohol-at-home-wont-deter-binge-drinking-say-uk-experts

Does it normalise alcohol though? Or does it normalise drinking alcohol free (or v low alcohol) ‘spirits’ and ‘mocktails’. Because I can see a big advantage in them developing a taste for alcohol free gin and tonic rather than the real thing. We took my DD and her friends out for her 16th to a very cool restaurant - lots of vegan options and a wide range of drinks for people who didn’t want alcohol - really inclusive, so vegetarians and vegans/non-drinkers weren’t treated as afterthoughts but were welcomed into the party. They absolutely loved choosing a mocktail as part of the whole experience, but they weren’t interested in a real cocktail. I also think many young people are much more aware of their own health and fitness than we ever were and may well see this as a positive lifestyle choice.

@SarahBellam

Does it normalise alcohol though? Or does it normalise drinking alcohol free (or v low alcohol) ‘spirits’ and ‘mocktails’. Because I can see a big advantage in them developing a taste for alcohol free gin and tonic rather than the real thing. We took my DD and her friends out for her 16th to a very cool restaurant - lots of vegan options and a wide range of drinks for people who didn’t want alcohol - really inclusive, so vegetarians and vegans/non-drinkers weren’t treated as afterthoughts but were welcomed into the party. They absolutely loved choosing a mocktail as part of the whole experience, but they weren’t interested in a real cocktail. I also think many young people are much more aware of their own health and fitness than we ever were and may well see this as a positive lifestyle choice.

Yes, I sort of think this too

alcoholchange.org.uk/alcohol-facts/fact-sheets/alcohol-and-parenting

This looks like quite a good fact sheet. I'm not sure it quite covers the topic of alcohol free drinks but does touch on other issues discussed here.

Personally I used to be of the view that starting with a little fairly early at home was the best approach and this is how I was brought up. However I then read that research showed that wasn't the best idea and the earlier a child first has alcohol the bigger the risk so I have revised my view. I still don't feel fully convinced though; it is hard to go against long held beliefs.

@LovelyRita1

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-42353206.amp

@NuffSaidSam

Thanks!

Alcohol free fake champagne at a wedding is fine but not that op.

Does it normalise alcohol though? Or does it normalise drinking alcohol free (or v low alcohol) ‘spirits’ and ‘mocktails’.

Normalising low alcohol spirits in young people is not a good idea. The closer the drinks taste to real alcohol, the more potential there is for people to serve them alcohol deliberately - without the young person knowing. If they don't have experience of knowing how they are affected by alcohol, then they could drink a dangerous amount, unknowingly, and put themselves in a dangerous situation.

On the fence.
It’s harmless because it’s not alcohol
You are having it, as a treat, in a special glass presumably, bit of ice… she wants to be part of that I guess.

But- what happens when it is alcohol and she sneaks a sip (we’ve all done it I suppose).
I don’t know, not very helpful lol

@FluffyBooBoo

Does it normalise alcohol though? Or does it normalise drinking alcohol free (or v low alcohol) ‘spirits’ and ‘mocktails’.

Normalising low alcohol spirits in young people is not a good idea. The closer the drinks taste to real alcohol, the more potential there is for people to serve them alcohol deliberately - without the young person knowing. If they don't have experience of knowing how they are affected by alcohol, then they could drink a dangerous amount, unknowingly, and put themselves in a dangerous situation.

Oh is it no alcohol or low alcohol. That would change things. No alcohol doesn’t take like alcohol in any case, you don’t get a ‘buzz’.

Ds 8 is allowed a becks blue at Christmas

[quote LuckySantangelo35]@UndertheCedartree well 18 is probably optimistic, 14/15 more likely when they will start experimenting with alcohol. I dunno I think you can make it in a ‘forbidden fruit’ a bit too much. Also the candy cigarette sweets that were very popular when I was a kid did not induce me into smoking. There are so many other factors that lead kids to drink/smoke mostly to do with their peers rather than having the odd glass of this or that at home[/quote]
Yes, 18 is optimistic, it's true! My DC's grandfather is an alcoholic so I know they may be more susceptible to the effect of alcohol. My almost 15yo hasn't tried alcohol yet. He knows I want him to wait until 18 and why. Basically if you are susceptible to alcohol abuse, the younger you are when you have some the more likely you will struggle with it. So, yes, I am a bit more worried about young drinking than the average parent. The thing is it's also quite common for teenagers to try drugs but we don't give them 'just a few drags' on a spliff as a child to get them used to smoking weed in moderation and so it isn't forbidden fruit! But yes, I agree the reasons for drinking/smoking are complex and not just attributed to one thing.

I mentioned in Asda it was funny I was being asked for approval of age for alcohol free beer but the guy working there said it was because even alcohol free contains the tiniest bit of alcohol

I would feel icky about this too. Its marketed towards adults who want to reduce their alcohol intake. Much like vaping.

Martini Vibrante is low alcohol rather than no alcohol, so no, I wouldn't give it to a 10-year-old child in the same way I would a soft drink!

As for no alcohol alternatives being bad - my DM gave me mocktails when I was a kid. It didn't turn me into a big drinker. I've just never really enjoyed the taste of most alcoholic drinks, and I probably have the equivalent of about 3 units in an entire year; I drink so infrequently.

Children who are going to grow into adults who drink, are not going to knock back loads of cocktails on the basis they had juice with cocktail stirrers as kids... A no alcohol mocktail is a bit of fun; it's not a gateway drug.

And yes, I got ID'd buying alcohol free g&ts last week!!!

Oh is it no alcohol or low alcohol. That would change things

There's loads of 0% alcohol spirits that have a very small slowly of alcohol and taste very similar to the real thing. I would suspect 0% martini (that the op mentioned) is one of them, although I have to admit I haven't tried it.

@teaandtoastwithmarmite

I mentioned in Asda it was funny I was being asked for approval of age for alcohol free beer but the guy working there said it was because even alcohol free contains the tiniest bit of alcohol

But doesn't apply to all non alcohol drinks ime.

A Becks blue appears to require ID.
A can of shandy Bass pop (almost always from a chip shop ime) doesn't appear to have the same rules.
Both contain some alcohol.

As a child I was given a snowball at Christmas and the odd small (sherry size) glass of wine with Sunday dinner, if we were having guests. Neither of my parents used to drink otherwise and no, I’m not a raging alcoholic either.

I would say this is a good way of teaching the value of moderation. Allow your daughter the odd alcohol free drinks on special occasions and normal soft drinks the rest of the time.

OP I had a similar situation with my kids (except I haven’t let them try it) when I started drinking non-alcoholic beer and gin. They had a similar reaction to alcohol whereby every time we had a drink they pestered us for a taste.

It definitely bothered me.

We stopped drinking it in front of them just as we did with alcohol. We stick to drinks that aren’t modeled on alcohol when they are around. We do try new and different drinks with them though - exotic fruit juices, home made lemonades, shakes, sparkling apple juice, etc. (though mainly we drink water!) but try to move away from the idea drinks revolve around alcohol, even if it’s non-alcoholic.

I don’t know how important it is. They know it’s non-alcoholic. Maybe it would be fine. But I’d rather put the brakes on while they are young. I don’t want them going crazy when they leave home, but there are a lot of years between now and then and I think we can start that particular acclimation later.

Research I’ve read on the whole seems to suggest delaying exposure to alcohol and alcohol related incidents (like seeing their parents drunk) until 15+ to minimise the chances of excessive alcohol use. I grew up in an environment with a much looser approach and while I don’t have an alcohol addiction, I have drunk more than is recommended for significant chunks of my life (especially the college years) and looking back I can see that a little more restraint around alcohol would probably have been more beneficial and more fun.