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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSD - is this odd or AIBU

66 replies

Iseofskye123 · 04/03/2022 18:37

Am not sure what to think here...DSD is 13, I've been with her dad 18 years and married. Apparently she's always known she was conceived on valentines day (I find this very odd, I mean who tells their children when they had sex??) So for her 13th birthday her mother has changed her birthday certificate to valentine as her middle name. WTF???

OP posts:
Bromse · 04/03/2022 19:51

It does seem strange especially as kids generally want to know nothing about their parents' sex lives (and vice versa). If she was much older, maybe married with children, it could be said laughingly but I can imagine the daughter saying in response, "Oh mum, too much information!". It's not coy to keep some things private.

I know when my son was conceived.)....but he doesn't and that's another story altogether ;-).

WonderfulYou · 04/03/2022 19:52

I just asked my child Daisy fireworksnight2016 Bucks and she agrees.

😂😂

tkwal · 04/03/2022 19:59

How did she change her Birth Certificate without your DHs consent ? Or did he give consent and not tell you ?

3Daddy31982 · 04/03/2022 20:02

In that case my kids would be bedroom floor, sofa and Whitby Beach!

pictish · 04/03/2022 20:04

What of it? I don’t understand your problem with this. It might not be to your personal taste but so what?

negomi90 · 04/03/2022 20:06

Don't most kids at some point count back from their birthday to work out when they were conceived?
That's normal.

Changing an older kid's name to reflect that is a bit odd. But then lots of people name their kids after where they were conceived or when, they just do it a birth. So it feels weird, but the naming itself isn't, just the timing.

FuckThatBullshit · 04/03/2022 20:07

@Alicenwonderland

A friend of mine loved her name until she found out she was named after her Dads favourite porn star! 😳😵‍💫
Fucking rank
BabyTurtIe · 04/03/2022 20:10

Was just coming on to say she would need his permission to change the name if he is on the bc? Don’t think you can change the name on a bc anyway? Only deed poll but the bc won’t change

BadHairDayExpert · 04/03/2022 20:13

Prefer Valentina and bemused as to why an amendment now, but my own DD knows where they were conceived and when - names are linked to that. I have no problem with it - origin stories are always interesting.

JuliaSways · 04/03/2022 20:15

I'm 43 years old and I have no idea where I was conceived and I'm completely OK with that.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 04/03/2022 20:16

I doubt she changed a birth certificate.

Original poster
Iseofskye123 · 04/03/2022 20:20

@tkwal

How did she change her Birth Certificate without your DHs consent ? Or did he give consent and not tell you ?
Actually he knew nothing about it and thinks its odd too, mmmm, would definitely not agree to it! Perhaps he needs to investigate
OP posts:
BadNomad · 04/03/2022 20:23

I'm pretty sure you can't change a child's name on their birth certificate after 13 years. It can be changed it by deed poll but everyone with parental responsibility has to give permission.

oatlattetogo · 04/03/2022 20:26

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her knowing when she was conceived. She knows they had sex around 9 months before her birth, I don’t think it’s too scandalous to tell her the day!

I do think it’s a bit odd to change her middle name to commemorate her conception… but it’s a harmless enough middle name so if she’s happy it’s probably not worth making a fuss over. Has her mum replaced her existing middle name, or added Valentine?

Original poster
Iseofskye123 · 04/03/2022 20:27

@BadNomad

I'm pretty sure you can't change a child's name on their birth certificate after 13 years. It can be changed it by deed poll but everyone with parental responsibility has to give permission.
Perhaps it was deed poll actually, only heard it from DSD
OP posts:
JemimaTiggywinkle · 04/03/2022 20:30

Are you sure this has actually happened OP?
Was this DSD’s idea? Is her mum joking/humouring her? Need more information!

BadNomad · 04/03/2022 20:32

It still can't be done without her father's permission, assuming he has parental responsibility.

Maybe it's just one of those pretend certificates like Lady of Glencoe or name a star.

FangsForTheMemory · 04/03/2022 20:36

Weirder still to add 'Valentine' as it's a man's name. The female equivalent is Valentina.

Dontbeme · 04/03/2022 20:39

A friend of mine loved her name until she found out she was named after her Dads favourite porn star! 😳😵‍💫

Fucking rank

Fucking Rank would be a very appropriate name for a porn star, bit obvious though.

Original poster
Iseofskye123 · 04/03/2022 20:40

Her mother is in Dubai on holiday and she is with us, we think its deed poll upon discussion, but the school has been asked to change her name etc

OP posts:
DietrichandDiMaggio · 04/03/2022 20:42

Some mums have a very close relationship with their DDs and share things like this.

What, intimate details of their sex lives? Her being a daughter makes no difference, but her being a child does.

LadyTwinkle · 04/03/2022 20:45

You're posting as if this just happened, but If she was conceived on valentine's Day wouldn't her birthday be in November? I say this as someone who was also conceived on Valentine's day.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/03/2022 20:50

My daughter could be Reenie mylittlebrothersbirthday Jones

(NB she’s not really called Reenie Jones but I found it quite a coincidence her brother was later born on the date she was conceived)

DietrichandDiMaggio · 04/03/2022 20:53

@negomi90

Don't most kids at some point count back from their birthday to work out when they were conceived? That's normal.

Changing an older kid's name to reflect that is a bit odd. But then lots of people name their kids after where they were conceived or when, they just do it a birth. So it feels weird, but the naming itself isn't, just the timing.

Yes kids may count back 9 months, but surely most adults know that the birth doesn't automatically happen exactly 9 months after conception? I imagine most people don't know the actual day their children were conceived, unless they only have sex occasionally. I guess most people wouldn't tell their child they had sex three times that week in their bedroom, so it could have been any of those days.
Jourdain11 · 04/03/2022 20:57

My eldest DD has middle name Avril because she was born in April (and I'm French). She happily told her teacher that mum and dad had named her after Avril Lavigne Blush