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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Unsure out by unisex changing facilities

45 replies

MrsTrue · 04/03/2022 18:24

So yesterday I went to my new local leisure centre to use the pool and found there is only one set of changing rooms, showers, etc.

At first, I wasn't bothered at all as there were plenty of cubicles to change in but when coming out of the pool I then couldn't work out how to move between the shower and my locker and a changing cubicle without being paranoid about accidentally dropping my towel in front of a load of men! Thankfully I took an oversized towel as I wasn't sure what the situation would be like, bit I still felt incredibly uncomfortable. (I'm also 6 months pregnant so feeling very self conscious and protective of my body at this point anyway!)

I'm sure it's incredibly supportive for any transgender individuals and great for families, but I couldn't help feel a bit vulnerable about the whole moving around in just a towel thing, and then so uncomfortable about spending time on my hair and make up etc. What if one of the young boys decides it's a great game to steal towels, or worse, some creep decides to take advantage of the situation?

Am I overreacting? Or is this just normal now?

OP posts:

Isgooglebroken · 04/03/2022 18:29

Don’t you have your costume on still?

KindergartenKop · 04/03/2022 18:31

I wouldn't take off my costume in a mixed shower!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/03/2022 18:36

I can't remember when I last visited a public swimming pool in the UK without this set up.

The ideal is having small off shoots that are single sex, but many find mixed sex useful.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 04/03/2022 18:39

@KindergartenKop

I wouldn't take off my costume in a mixed shower!

I assumed it was an individual shower cubicle rather than a mixed sex shower.

RestingPandaFace · 04/03/2022 18:41

You shower in your swimming costume, get your stuff out of your locker and only get changed in your cubicle. It’s not that logistically tricky

OchonAgusOchonOh · 04/03/2022 18:43

This is nothing to do with provision for trans individuals. My local swimming pool has been like this for over 30 years. It has lockable cubicles to get changed in, some open, communal showers, where nobody removes their swimming costume, and some lockable shower cubicles where you can have a proper shower and then wrap a towel around yourself to go to a cubicle.

I would much prefer this setup to one where there are separate, open plan facilities for men and women where anyone can just self-id into their preferred changing room.

Monitaurus · 04/03/2022 18:45

Why shouldn’t women and girls have our privacy preserved? These changes have happened without our consent. Who benefits from males having easier access to facilities used by women and girls? It is not women and girls, for sure.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 04/03/2022 18:45

@OchonAgusOchonOh

I would much prefer this setup to one where there are separate, open plan facilities for men and women where anyone can just self-id into their preferred changing room.

Ours is like this too. It feels safe with lots of people about. I think a sex offender is less likely to act with other men around.

PercyPiginaWig · 04/03/2022 18:50

Our local pool is like this, it's great for families and even if DH and I go swimming together we share a locker, get changed in adjacent cubicles, only one needs to bring shampoo etc.

So many threads where people are uncomfortable about opposite sex children in the wrong changing rooms, this eliminates that.

You can also get a towel dress or bring a robe if you're worried about walking from the shower to your changing cubicle.

SnackSizeRaisin · 04/03/2022 18:50

Depends what area you are in I guess. In a nice area it's not a problem. In a rough area there can be problems. I used to go to a pool in Liverpool where there was free swimming for under 16s. There were groups of teenage lads hanging around causing problems (looking under the doors of the changing cubicles).

SlashBeef · 04/03/2022 18:52

Surely you had your swimming costume on anyway???

Capri3 · 04/03/2022 18:54

@RestingPandaFace

You shower in your swimming costume, get your stuff out of your locker and only get changed in your cubicle. It’s not that logistically tricky

This.

Just rinse off, then shower properly when you’re back home. Not great, and I personally wouldn’t be happy in a mixed changing room, but tbh I wouldn’t take a naked shower in a female only public changing room either.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 04/03/2022 18:54

I think a sex offender is less likely to act with other men around

Yes, like in the priesthood for example 🙄.

Have you not heard of hiding in plain sight?

Somanymistakes · 04/03/2022 18:57

What if one of the young boys decides it's a great game to steal towels

This is such a weird thing to say. It's almost as though you are trying to provoke an argument. I've been swimming for 45 years and for the last 20~ish, large communal areas with cubicles and lockable showers have been common. This is about families more than transgender individuals.

I'm also not nervous in the changing area but have no desire to flash anyone. I'm not sure why you are so concerned about suddenly becoming naked, surely you are holding your towel on?

Regarding the stealing towels. Are you one of those annoying individuals that leave their stuff in cubicles when the swim or shower? Don't. It's selfish.

TooBored1 · 04/03/2022 18:57

Aren't most council pools like this?

Somanymistakes · 04/03/2022 18:57

Yes @TooBored1

wildflowersg · 04/03/2022 19:03

@Duracellbunnywannabe It didn’t stop me being sexually assaulted underneath a stall at a local pool when I was 7. Loads of people around but it was far too scared to say anything. They told my mum it happened regularly. There should be single sex provision.

KrisAkabusi · 04/03/2022 19:08

You shouldn't be moving around in just a towel. If you are, you're doing it wrong.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 04/03/2022 20:55

[quote wildflowersg]@Duracellbunnywannabe It didn’t stop me being sexually assaulted underneath a stall at a local pool when I was 7. Loads of people around but it was far too scared to say anything. They told my mum it happened regularly. There should be single sex provision.[/quote]
I’m sorry this happened to you.

I was deferring to how I felt about the changing rooms rather if they are technically safe or not.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 04/03/2022 21:26

Our local pool has this too, there have been sex attacks by males reported, but on children not adults. I expect they have all done it because its cheaper.

GrumpyPanda · 04/03/2022 21:35

Not bothered by changing cubicles, but mixed sex showers are an abomination. The worst I've come across was when living in the Netherlands where they only ever had open poolside showers. Horrendously sexist- I have dry sensitive skin and really need to get the chlorine off after a swim or ill be itching all day. Great for the guys in an itsy bitsy speedo but in a swimsuit?

bythere · 04/03/2022 21:37

"So many threads where people are uncomfortable about opposite sex children in the wrong changing rooms, this eliminates that."

But if some people are uncomfortable with opposite sex children in the facilities they would surely be with adults then.

Hankunamatata · 04/03/2022 21:39

Our pool is like this. Everyone just showers on their costume then goes and gets changed

Mistressiggi · 04/03/2022 21:39

Definitely not supposed to remove your costume! So men could be doing this too, and accidentally dropping their towels?

StarsAndSugarlumps · 04/03/2022 21:45

Our pool has been like this for 20+ years. Most other pools we have visited too. Much better than segregated.

You are not supposed to take your swimming costume off in the shower.

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