Unsure out by unisex changing facilities

[MrsTrue]

So yesterday I went to my new local leisure centre to use the pool and found there is only one set of changing rooms, showers, etc.

At first, I wasn't bothered at all as there were plenty of cubicles to change in but when coming out of the pool I then couldn't work out how to move between the shower and my locker and a changing cubicle without being paranoid about accidentally dropping my towel in front of a load of men! Thankfully I took an oversized towel as I wasn't sure what the situation would be like, bit I still felt incredibly uncomfortable. (I'm also 6 months pregnant so feeling very self conscious and protective of my body at this point anyway!)

I'm sure it's incredibly supportive for any transgender individuals and great for families, but I couldn't help feel a bit vulnerable about the whole moving around in just a towel thing, and then so uncomfortable about spending time on my hair and make up etc. What if one of the young boys decides it's a great game to steal towels, or worse, some creep decides to take advantage of the situation?

Am I overreacting? Or is this just normal now?

They haven't done this because it's cheaper. They've done it because pools with only single sex changing rooms are a massive barrier to files taking children swimming if they don't have a parent of the same sex to take them.

Our local pool only has male and female changing rooms. According to their policy, an eight-year-old child is not allowed in the "wrong sex" changing room. This policy is enforced. So, unless a parent of the matching sex is on hand the child has to go and change on their own in an open plan communal changing room.

The potential for harm, including sexual abuse, when changing with a parent in a unisex family cubicle is much less than that when a primary-age child is forced to change alone and unsupervised in a room full of unrelated, unvetted adult strangers.

Yes, the ideal solution would be to have male, female and unisex changing rooms, but this would be difficult to achieve in the space available and councils aren't exactly swimming in money!

I know of more than one of my child's friends who gave up swimming lessons because single sex changing rooms don't work for them - either there is only a single parent of the opposite sex, or the same-sex parent just isn't available when the lessons are on due to work commitments etc.

A swimming pool where the setup results in a not insignificant proportion of children (at least two from a class of thirty) giving up on swimming is not fit for purpose.

How many of those complaining about unisex changing (with cubicles) have actually given up on going swimming - or even given up on gaining the life-saving skill of swimming in the first place - as a result?

We have a changing village but you are only meant to undress in a cubicle (however find it unpleasant that they are not fully enclosed so vulnerable to someone looking over or under the edge.

We are also forgetting here women of certain faiths, where they cannot mix with males in this way.

This excludes women. Women in minorities already.

How many of those complaining about unisex changing (with cubicles) have actually given up on going swimming - or even given up on gaining the life-saving skill of swimming in the first place - as a result?

I used to love swimming. Women only sessions helped save me after I was raped. All our local pools are variations of this now. I no longer swim and my almost 4 year old has never been a pool because of it. Her elder brother went with his dad a few times before covid and should hopefully be starting lessons soon.

@CasperGutman "I know of more than one of my child's friends who gave up swimming lessons because single sex changing rooms don't work for them - either there is only a single parent of the opposite sex, or the same-sex parent just isn't available when the lessons are on due to work commitments etc."

How old were the children? If they were young enough they can simply go in the parent's restroom, can't they? No reason to deny a child the chance to go swimming just because they're not with a parent of the same sex.

My daughter is 12 now but used to go to a local leisure centre to swimming classes when she was 10.
There was separate changing rooms for male/female but there was a communal shower were of course you kept your swimsuit or shorts on but there was also shower cubicles in each changing room.

Has this changed as I’m slightly confused so apologies .

Many swimming pools have changing villages now. Most have on open shared shower space so you wouldn't be taking your costume off. You'd also be getting dressed before putting makeup on or doing your hair.

Shared spaces are Useful if you've got kids not so great for safety. More assaults happen in mixed sex spaces than single sex ones.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

@DorothyZbornakIsAQueen

We are also forgetting here women of certain faiths, where they cannot mix with males in this way.

This excludes women. Women in minorities already.

I think some pools have "women only" sessions to accommodate eg Muslim women, but I don't know what would happen if a transwonan turned up

Gosh I cant believe how many there have been, this is just one search on leisure centre sex attacks. Happening all over the country, seem to be mostly on children too

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-13768074
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-23930652
coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/sex-attacks-claim-swimming-pool-3176136
www.itv.com/news/meridian/story/2014-09-06/sex-offender-jailed-for-four-years/
www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/vile-leisure-centre-worker-carried-22930261

I use the pool at our local leisure centre once a week. It sounds like the OP's in that there is one changing village. There are showers by the pool that people use with their costume on, and separate lockable shower cubicles. It's been like this since it was built over 20 years ago.

I have never had a problem with the arrangement, and I used to find it very convenient when I went swimming with my children.

I always use a large towel and it covers a lot more of me than my costume does. I like having a proper shower and washing my hair after a swim, so always use a lockable shower cubicle and take off my costume. I take the towel in with me. When I've finished, I wrap the towel around me and walk out into the communal area to get my stuff out of a locker and get dressed in a lockable changing cubicle.

I have recently become a convert to Dock and Bay and use their towels. They fold up very small and stay in their bag hanging on a convenient hook while I'm showering. I used to use a normal beach towel which I draped over the top of the door.

I think @SnackSizeRaisin is right though. I live in a 'nice' area and don't feel in the least bit vulnerable walking around in just a towel. I might possibly feel different somewhere else.

Personally I can't see an issue with spending time on hair and make up in public either, but then I don't do either, just a quick comb through of hair, and a blast with the hairdryer if it's particularly cold outside.

Keep your swimming costume on in the shower if it's mixed!

This arrangement is great for families. It's what Butlins have for their pools, having consulted Mumsnet.

Having family sized changing rooms makes complete sense if this is a family friendly venue.

Mixed sex changing rooms benefit parents who take multiple children swimming, because it's far easier to get two daughters changed and ready with an extra pair of hands, which happen to belong to their father! Or vice versa for sons, etc etc.

Our more modern leisure centres have a good set up I think. They are the changing village style overall but with open plan women/men rooms too with a shower, so you can be in a single sex area.

I dont mind the village style personally and have a wrap around towel/dress thing to get from shower to cubicle.

I honestly can’t see anyone looking under/over as the gaps are really small

My gym has everything separate including showers which are cubicles. Changing room mainly open with a couple of cubicles. I want to shower properly with shower cream after a swim and you can’t do that with a swimsuit on.

Personally I can't see an issue with spending time on hair and make up in public either, but then I don't do either, just a quick comb through of hair, and a blast with the hairdryer if it's particularly cold outside.

If I have washed my hair (I don’t always and wear a swimming hat while swimming) I don’t bother drying it, I just wrap it in my towelling turban and go home to dry and style it in the comfort of my own home.

Surely you just shower in your costume?

Whilst it would be nice to have a dedicated female changing room and unisex facilities to choose from, I think unisex changing rooms have the most benefits overall.

It’s so much easier for families with babies and wriggly toddlers who choose to change and swim together. No one has to decide whether to send their nine year old boy into a room alone with unknown, semi dressed men, little girls don’t have to join their dads in the men’s changing room, and my 6 foot male cousin with learning disabilities can still access the pool with his mum rather than missing out completely…

And providing there are proper cubicles, no one should be seeing more of anyone of the opposite sex than they would in the pool.

Yeah nearly all new/refurbished pools have this set up now. We were asked to provide feedback when our pool changed from m/f changing rooms to the 'changing village' style. I said I didn't really like it, and was told reviews were mixed but that most pools had this set up now. Of the 8 council owned pools in my county, only the 2 oldest have a traditional m/f changing rooms now.

Mine is even worse because the changing rooms open up directly to the poolside, and the poolside is 3/4 sides windows, so everyone in the car park, neighbouring fields, and the reception area can see you in the shower! I've never seen anyone actually take their swimsuit off to shower because of the reasons you've mentioned. They have also had issued with teenagers/children looking under/over cubicles, so have had to install 'bar' things to stop this happening.

I suppose it's a mix - it's not great for women who feel safer in single sex spaces and anyone who wants to have a proper shower after swimming. But it probably is better for anyone who is trans, people who prefer changing in cubicles rather than open spaces, and families (i.e. parents taking opposite sex children swimming).

If you've ever been to centre parcs I think they have the absolute best set up - loads of individual cubicles in the middle, and male/female open changing areas either side. But of course most pools won't have that amount of space/money.

[quote bythere]@CasperGutman "I know of more than one of my child's friends who gave up swimming lessons because single sex changing rooms don't work for them - either there is only a single parent of the opposite sex, or the same-sex parent just isn't available when the lessons are on due to work commitments etc."

How old were the children? If they were young enough they can simply go in the parent's restroom, can't they? No reason to deny a child the chance to go swimming just because they're not with a parent of the same sex.[/quote]
The children were eight years old, all boys who either had no father in their life or a father who worked away/was on-shift when lessons were scheduled.

The leisure centre's policy is that children aged eight and over must use the open-plan changing room for people of their own sex, and only those aged seven and under can use the "wrong" changing room with a parent of the opposite sex.

Although the pool is closed to the public during the children's swimming lessons, the rest of the leisure centre is open and the changing rooms are used by those attending spinning classes, crossfit, using the gym, playing squash etc. The pool is also opened for public swimming immediately after the lesson which the boys would attend, and men who want to swim after the lessons are allowed in to get ready for swimming.

I know it's quite possible there would be no problem in practice, and I offered to supervise one of the boys as they're family friends, but his mum was understandably not keen on relying on anyone else for this.