Page 6 | Have you ever forgotten to pick up your child from school?

Ellerehj · 2022-03-04T16:14:39+00:00

DSD has now forgotten to pick up our son 3 times. I live closer to his school than he does and luckily I've been on hand each time to go get him otherwise he would have been sat there for another 20 minutes or so. He said he just lost track of time because he's working at home. I don't think that's a good enough excuse?! AIBU to be totally pissed off.

Sparticuscaticus · 05/03/2022 09:32

It's outrageous that your son's dad has forgotten to collect from school him 3 times

It is not usual to forget your child and you are risking a children services referral. The school are having to ring you to collect him!!!

My exH forgot / didn't turn up three times to collect DCs from school- it was reported after second time back to CSD, I had to take it back to court (we had contact order) and the judge immediately removed any midweek contacts, any pick ups from anywhere other than home. ExH (Dad) was given a warning that contact would cease if there were further reports of his neglecting DCs. Judge took it extremely seriously as did CSD, who recommended no contact for a period of time and then supervised contact. His behaviour wasn't heat anyway, but the judge didn't accept "traffic" or "work meeting overran" any other guff exH came out with and neither did the social worker

AuntFlorence · 05/03/2022 09:44

I'm a single parent (ex not invoked) so no excuse, but when I was working irregular shifts and my kids were using irregular childcare hours I had two near misses and one time where the school called me and I realised I had forgotten they didn't have a club session that day. I was like an hour late for pick up.
I don't work irregular shifts now and never will again. Some people have a brain that can cope with that, not me! I get far too confused far too easily. If I was splitting pick ups with another person I absolutely know I would do the same thing.

Sparticuscaticus · 05/03/2022 09:49

Are you sons dad together? Is he your DP (Dear Partner)

Or is he ExDP (ex partner)

If you are separated this would concern me that he can't be relied on. Tbh even if you are together he isn't reliable if he's forgetting to collect your child

School have a protocol to go through if children aren't collected from school, you're lucky they are ringing you. It will be added to your sons school file. You don't want any of this to stick to you.

Your DS's Dad needs to set an alarm in his mobile to remind him to collect and in his work diary.

My DCs were very upset to be forgotten and left at school by their Dad. It was mortifying to be the last one left, to have to taken to reception by teacher for parents to be called and to do the "wait of shame". Years later mine still recall the humiliation and how they feel about all the times their Dad couldn't be relied upon.

Don't underestimate how your DS will feel about it, so do please talk to him and say that you will always be there for him and are sad at what Dad did.

Jools67 · 05/03/2022 11:13

I did once,my son was 5,he's now 34,I completely lost track of time and arrived at the school 20minutes late I was mortified when the the teacher said don't worry he's fine he said your probably at the hairdresser's!!! Never happened again.

Suretobe · 05/03/2022 16:27

@Jools67 what a star he is!

ghostmouse · 05/03/2022 17:13

I’ve done it once because I fell asleep. Felt awful but I was very sleep deprived. The school were lovely about it and said not to worry because I looked so dishevelled and I had sleep creases on my face. I was also pg at the time

Lachimolala · 05/03/2022 17:19

I’ve only done this once and it’s when I was on nights and 8 months pregnant! I just dozed off again and slept through my alarm, 50 mins late I was. That was when he was in Y2 and he’s in Y7 now, I’ve never forgotten it and I’m still so ashamed and embarrassed all these years later.

Original poster

Ellerehj · 05/03/2022 19:10

@Sparticuscaticus

Are you sons dad together? Is he your DP (Dear Partner)

Or is he ExDP (ex partner)

If you are separated this would concern me that he can't be relied on. Tbh even if you are together he isn't reliable if he's forgetting to collect your child

School have a protocol to go through if children aren't collected from school, you're lucky they are ringing you. It will be added to your sons school file. You don't want any of this to stick to you.

Your DS's Dad needs to set an alarm in his mobile to remind him to collect and in his work diary.

My DCs were very upset to be forgotten and left at school by their Dad. It was mortifying to be the last one left, to have to taken to reception by teacher for parents to be called and to do the "wait of shame". Years later mine still recall the humiliation and how they feel about all the times their Dad couldn't be relied upon.

Don't underestimate how your DS will feel about it, so do please talk to him and say that you will always be there for him and are sad at what Dad did.

He is my ex partner. He is completely and utterly unreliable it makes me so sad.

I'll definitely be speaking to the school about it. It's hard when they're so young. He was so upset it breaks my heart

OP posts:

TirednessButHappiness · 05/03/2022 19:15

No!!
Neither had DH.

I think that is one of the absolute most basic things to remember.

If I’m not at work and feeling tired then I set an alarm on the off chance that I nod off.

He’s being really crap.

thewhatsit · 05/03/2022 19:32

Someone in our class WhatsApp group did once send a text round about 5 mins before pick up asking someone to take her child as she’d completely forgotten (I think she was at work and had forgotten to arrange a pick up).
I suppose if you have a different set up each day - eg if both parents share picks ups and you work part time or shifts so that each day is different I can see how it’s done - perhaps you have a childminder that does Tuesday and Wednesday and you leave work early Monday and Thursday and then the other parent does Friday .. I can see how you could mix up days on a stressful day.

MadisonAvenue · 05/03/2022 19:34

Not forgot but I fell asleep once and woke 10 minutes before pick up time and had to run a mile and a half to make it on time.

Another time I was lifting my baby to put him into his pram to leave the house to collect his brother when he dramatically threw up over both of us, it was even in my hair and both of us needed a change of clothing. I had to call the school and explain that I was going to be late.

ivfbabymomma1 · 05/03/2022 19:49

No, but I have 1 child so he's easier to keep track of I imagine! Plus I work until he finished so I automatically drive from work to him!

JungleBungles · 05/03/2022 20:34

No….I’ve never forgotten to pick up my children neither has DH

I have run late once or twice (bloody roadworks) but phoned the school to put them into after school club!

That’s terrible for your child - I’d be really really angry!

TheMindBoggle · 05/03/2022 21:05

I forgot once as they were finishing early so it was outside of the normal routine. I was driving out if town wondering why I could see all of these kids walking around. Then it hit me and I drove to the school and got there as they were ringing me. I think I was about 10-15 minutes late.

A couple of times, I've nodded off on the sofa (sleepless nights dur to having a child with SEND and undiagnosed sleep apnea). So had to call to say I'd be a few minutes late. I think one of those times the school rang me and that woke me up! So, yes, probably happened 2-3 times in 10 years of school pick ups. Obviously, the falling asleep wasn't forgetting, just sheer exhaustion!