Do you have 'I can't cope' days as a parent

[abeanbaked]

I'm having one of those 'I can't cope like this' days. I get them some times, when it's all just too much. Ordinarily I manage fine day to day, then something will happen like yesterday my dog slipped her lead and ran away from me, it took ages to get her back. Now realising I have a bigger training issue on my hands than I thought, DS not sleeping or napping well, husband working full time, me going back to work soon, I have gotten help with the dog issue but it's a lot of £££ and time when you have a full on life anyway. I do a gym class in the evenings 2-3x a week, fitting it all in is overwhelming me and I feel completely bogged down by the volume of shit I have going on. Tomorrow is a new day and I will probably be fine but fucking hell today it's hard. Anyone else?

Yep, but as you say, tomorrow is a new day. It always seems worse when everything happens all at once. Take each bit at a time and focus your energy on the bits you cam control.

Yes, having one today. Hence being on mumsnet and achieving little! On those days one achievement is enough. I find it's sleep related for me.

Yes, we’ve all had those days (and still do even thought my dc are no longer technically children, but adults).

Yep - had one like that last week where I literally was so worn down by the half-term that I physically couldn’t do anymore parenting. My mum come and got them for the night and I was like a new woman by the time they had come back the next day! X

Yes 100% I take it really slow on those days

Yes quite often. Usually liked to how much/little sleep I’ve been getting. Sometimes it all feels so overwhelming and the responsibility is too much. But then the next day I can feel totally fine and on top of everything again

Yep I'm a single mom (fairly recently) & it's just me 7 days a week as dad has decided that he isn't going to be involved as his affair partner is pregnant & he's moved in with her & her kids 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄, I get days where I just think oh god I really can't do this but then my 4 year old son looks at me tells me he loves me,I'm the best parent & proceeds to tell me why,which puts it into perspective if he thinks I'm doing a good job I can't be doing too bad 🤣😁

Most days tbh 😂 This is why I am the breadwinner working 4 days per week and DH runs a business from home and works a bit less but balances the household stuff. I love our children fiercely but my god I am not the maternal earth mother domestic goddess I had envisaged myself as.

Yes, I’ve had one or two days where things felt so overwhelming that I cried and got into bed and just slept for 2 hours. It’s unthinkable today when I’m feeling ok, but on those certain days I obviously just felt like a fucking mess!

Being a parent is relentless - physically and emotionally. It’s no surprise we burn out occasionally

Yep having one of those days today, DS wouldn't eat his breakfast this morning, my husband making remarks which are meant to be funny but are actually hurtful. Need space. Need to feel happy. Always putting everyone before me and now I feel like it's too much, just want to lay in bed and cry...

Having one today!!! My 4 yr old is been a totally bugger!!! Think it's pretty normal to have one every now and again. It's tough sometimes been a parent.

Yes, but now it’s with teenagers and the problems seem insurmountable!

Yup, I don’t think any parent doesn’t. Sometimes it can be entire weeks or months of feeling like this tbh. The lockdown last year was 2 solid months of this feeling.

Not any more - my 2 are now 8 and 10, so far more manageable! Not saying this to be smug, just as reassurance that things get better. Although, I suspect that this is just a brief lull before the teenage hormones start to kick in. Am sure I will have many "can't cope" days then!

Plenty of shit hitting the fan days and get stressed out so feels a bit like I can't cope but always muddle through them. The other week the car bonnet wouldn't shut, I got stressed out and dropped the damn thing on my thumb cutting it open. I was so annoyed that I didn't feel pain until my dad had come round to fix the catch for me, dh was working away.

Sympathy OP. Having one today. Just met a friend who has found a new job and got a pay raise. I feel ground down in my job, but no confidence or energy to look elsewhere. I'm tired, everything feels hugely overwhelming and I just feel like a massive failure while everyone else is doing well. Hope tomorrow is better for us all!

Yep constantly!

Both working full time on opposite shifts so hardly see each other. I do a lot of parenting alone as he's in work.

I have one stroppy teen who hates everyone and everything, one 5 year old who is super wilful and destructive and another child with a disability that needs a lot of support and has regular meltdowns where he lashes out and smashes stuff.

My house is a shithole. I don't even know where to start with it anymore and everything is broken but we don't have the monry to replace it all - especially knowing it will be smashed up again in a few weeks.

I have no friends, no hobbies, social activities or time away.

I thought it would get easier as the kids got older - it doesn't - the issues just change.

I regularly lose my shit then feel guilty - some days I just want to run away and hide.

I have at least two per week. Usually fuelled by toddler tantrums, newborn crying and sleep deprivation. What a lovely combo.

💐 to you all. Hope tomorrow is better for everyone. It's hard and isolating sometimes.

Me too! I’ve been trapped in for the last two days as DD4 has a sickness bug which luckily (so far) 6mo DD has avoided. I decided to use my time ‘wisely’ and sort out all of the cupboards upstairs as if there wasn’t enough to do with piles of washing and a crawling clingy baby and a sicky 4yo! So now I’m feeling flappy and flustered in a house that was relatively tidy before I went on a decluttering kick. Total fail 🤦‍♀️

Yup.

Yes. I have days like this.

Yes I have at least 3/4 a week I'm mentally unwell though and doesn't take much for me to feel like I can't cope. I just take things slow and do what I have to do to get through.

I’ve just had, if not a day, a moment.

I’ve got a 2 year old at the bottom of very long waiting lists for asd assessment and speech & language therapy.

I’ve got a 12 week old who just does not stop screaming and won’t be put down.

My mum was found dead at home 2 and a half weeks ago and I’m single handedly dealing with all the organisational shit that ensues, including trying to arrange a public health funeral because DH and I are barely getting by each month, and she preferred to spend her time and money buying shit on qvc than on frivolities like life insurance or a funeral plan. Extremely distressing.

Then late last night the 2 year old came down with a sickness bug ( just as I was putting the finishing touches on a handmade outfit for world book day). Had to run him a bath, strip his bed and remake it etc. Put him back to bed and he promptly threw up again. He eventually ended up sleeping with dh next to him on the bedroom floor. Just as I’ve finished dealing with that the baby wakes for a feed, then has a huge leaky shit and takes an age to fall asleep after I’ve changed him so I can put him in his crib. I eventually get to sleep sometime after 3, baby wakes for a feed again at half 6 then toddler wakes me at 9. Spend a good hour of my morning picking bits of regurgitated food and scrunching vomit stains off toddler’s bedding and pjs.

We don’t get our toddler free day as he can’t go to childminders after being sick. DH drops me at the train station to take baby to osteopath, on the way there toddler vomits in the car and on the way home DH gets a flat tyre.

Baby spends a large portion of the journey home from osteopath howling. Get home, make toddler his dinner, make his bed as best as I can given that half the stuff isn’t dry yet, get him ready, give him his bottle. The instant I put him down in his cot bed he’s sick again. Whilst I’m trying to re-re-remake the bed, he falls asleep on his bedroom floor still in his pukey pyjamas using his cuddly as a pillow.

It’s at this point that I decide I’ve had as much as I can take.

God yeah
Very frequent when DD was small. Less often now she’s nearly 7.
No wonder people turn to drink