To not want to go

[Peoplesuck]

So I’ve been in a relationship 6+ months, it’s going well. The problem is with my other half’s parents who have made it clear they don’t like me.

My boyfriend has admitted that his parents can be difficult and that they have said things that are out of line and that he expected them to apologise. The apology never came despite him raising it with them.

Now 3 months on, he wants me to attend a family birthday and an afternoon lunch with his parents. I’ve told him that without them acknowledging and apologising for what they’ve said previously then I would feel loathed to spend time with them.

He thinks I’m being unreasonable and I should just let it go given it was three months ago now and the apology is unlikely to come.

Should I have gotten over it and attend or am I right not to want to go?

I'd go, smile and be your amazing self.
If you don't go they will love it as they'll see this as an indication that you and your DP aren't a united front and they'll be hoping the relationship isn't serious and they'll use this to try and pull your DP further away from you (whether he is worth it is a whole other thread- he should be backing you up more and not accepting their shit behaviour).
I'd definitely go on this occasion however, if only to piss them off.

They will definitely be hoping you don't go though as this will be indicative to them that there's cracks in your relationship that they can sow poison between.

@Peoplesuck

My boyfriend acknowledges that they can be difficult. He has had a few arguments with them himself since we’ve been together so he does know what they are like.

I feel that the relationship has so many good points, that I might have to turn up to some family occasion, eventually. However it will be when I am ready and not when he thinks I should be.

I know a lot of people have trouble with their mother in law, I just didn’t know I could be in this position before marriage

it will be when I am ready and not when he thinks I should be Then you're effectively wanting to punish your boyfriend then. You sound quite full on and hard going. I get that they could have been more tactful. But least they're being honest and to your face about their opinions!

Imo, either you split now or you embrace the situation and make the best of it for your boyfriend and try to build a positive relationship with the potential inlaws.

I imagine there's merit in what they're saying, not that you'll agree, but if he's now expected to be with you so much that must be hard for them when the other girlfriend was obviously a part of the whole family.

@KylieCharlene

I'd go, smile and be your amazing self. If you don't go they will love it as they'll see this as an indication that you and your DP aren't a united front and they'll be hoping the relationship isn't serious and they'll use this to try and pull your DP further away from you (whether he is worth it is a whole other thread- he should be backing you up more and not accepting their shit behaviour). I'd definitely go on this occasion however, if only to piss them off.

I was just about to post similar, couldn’t have put it better.

Be there, be a pain in their arses, look and be fabulous and charm the hell out of everyone else so they look like the twats they are!

They are awful
If they Stedham about their dons happiness they wouldn't do this. Theyare lucky they haven't lost him. Hopefully they will if they keep on being rude about you.

Your partner shouldn’t be punished because of his parents behaviour.

But do watch the situation carefully and how he supports you.

@Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree

Your partner shouldn’t be punished because of his parents behaviour.

But do watch the situation carefully and how he supports you.

Stuff like this that end up with women in relationships putting up with shitty in-laws whilst their husband/wife ‘stays out of it’.

He didn’t stick up for her. He allowed them to not bother apologising and wants her to put his and their comfort first.