Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Social Media Profile/Cover photos

33 replies

beaverdiego · 01/03/2022 13:15

DP still has photos of his ex on social media, ones that were used nearly three years ago as profile and cover pictures of them both canoodling.
These aren't his current profile/cover pictures obviously.

AIBU to expect that he would have removed them?

OP posts:

Associatepeggy · 01/03/2022 13:18

Personally, I think yabu.

You would only see them if you went looking for them. So don't go looking for them.

I have never understood people trying to remove all history of an ex on social media. Everyone knows they existed. They are part of your past.

They aren't his current ones, so I don't see the issues.

GroggyLegs · 01/03/2022 13:24

It's a couple of old photos.

YABU and if I can be blunt, the OP reads like you're looking for a fight.

Has he done something to make you feel he's disloyal?

TedMullins · 01/03/2022 13:25

Really not an issue. Most people have pictures from their past on social media. Why do you expect him to delete them?

grapewines · 01/03/2022 13:26

She exists. As long as it's not current banner photo YABU.

Sirzy · 01/03/2022 13:32

If they where his current pictures you would have a point. But your annoyed just because he hasn’t gone through and deleted all photos? She is part of his past whether you like it or not

Shoxfordian · 01/03/2022 13:34

Yabu

There’s probably ancient pictures of my exes on Facebook; I’m not with them anymore- means nothing

Bookworm20 · 01/03/2022 13:40

Yes, as they are profie and cover pictures, then yes I find it a bit odd he hasn't removed them, unless he has totally forgotten they are there.

As regualr pictures on his timeline/newsfeed then no I think totally fine they are still there as that was representative of what he was doing at that time.

when I got with my now DP, I did take down the pictures of me and exDP together from my profile and cover images even though they were not the 'current' ones, it just felt wrong to still have them there when we were no longer together and I was with someone else.

Associatepeggy · 01/03/2022 13:41

Also on FB the profile and cover photos are in a different file.

So, if he said he had deleted then all (or you made him) he just may not have thought to look in the other, separate, file.

Bookworm20 · 01/03/2022 13:43

meant to add, I didn't remove pictures from my normal timeline though, but somehow profile and cover pictures just felt a bit different as they are like the header to the whole social media page

ladydimitrescu · 01/03/2022 13:48

YABU - it's a part of his life that existed, you can't delete it. You're being really petty over a non issue.

GreenPepperRed · 01/03/2022 13:55

YABU. He's with you now. He's chosen you. Why are you feeling insecure about photos existing of them together? You can't erase his past relationships, they happened and they existed.

KindlyKanga · 01/03/2022 14:00

Stop trawling through his social media

NopeNoNope · 01/03/2022 14:02

I'm assuming he didn't have them as his profile pictures when you met? So you must have gone looking? Have you told him you want him to remove photos of certain things from his past?

My friend still has some of her ex but you'd only see them if you clicked the profile picture and started swiping right and going through them.

She was with him for a long time and the reason many are still there is because she couldn't be arsed to remove them all as after ten mins she said fuck it and left them. Not because she still wanted to be with him or had feelings for him but because she just didn't care and the man she has been with for a year now saw over her shoulder one was in her memories and she was gonna delete but he'd said he knows she's been in love with other men in the past just like he has been in love with other women and she shouldn't have to delete it but speak of any memories that she might want to share with future children about places she's been and things she's done just because they happened with someone else before him.

ILoveYouMoreTheEnd · 01/03/2022 14:03

If my exh comes up in my memories I delete them but only if my dogs aren't in the pics lol. Stop trawling he won't even know they are there

NopeNoNope · 01/03/2022 14:03

Swiping left even.

deadlanguage · 01/03/2022 14:04

Yabu. As long as it doesn’t still say on his profile that they’re in a relationship I think it’s fine!

chickenninja · 01/03/2022 14:09

I don't know, I think you're getting a hard time on here, to be honest I wouldn't be happy about it. He probably doesn't realise it hurts you.

Unlike a lot of photos on Facebook, the profile and cover photos are visible to everyone so literally anyone that clicks on his profile can flick through them. Why wouldn't he just remove them from the profile pictures?
I've still got photos of my ex from past uploads but it's just because of memories, no feelings there.

betwixtlives · 01/03/2022 14:11

YABU and controlling. they’re not his current photos. Why WOULD he delete them?!

chickenninja · 01/03/2022 14:12

..Because it hurts OP to see him canoodling the ex

Sirzy · 01/03/2022 14:14

@chickenninja

..Because it hurts OP to see him canoodling the ex

Then don’t look back at his old photos

Parpophone · 01/03/2022 14:15

Yes, as they are profie and cover pictures, then yes I find it a bit odd he hasn't removed them, unless he has totally forgotten they are there.*

@Bookworm20 From the OP:

These aren't his current profile/cover pictures obviously.

chickenninja · 01/03/2022 14:19

I just think it's a bit disrespectful to the current partner. I'm obviously not as cool as everyone else.
I'm not saying he needs to remove all history but at least make the photos private!
Bet he hasn't realised.

Janey3090 · 01/03/2022 14:20

I don't think you're being unreasonable. While old timeline photos can be hard to find (and therefore delete) anyone can see your profile pics/cover photos. It also doesn't take long to remove them so I struggle to see why people wouldn't.

When I split with my ex I didn't want to be reminded all the time so I chose to delete. My now DH doesn't have any old profile pics of his ex either. You can't completely erase them (so they will of course appear in memories, old albums etc), but a profile pic/cover photo is quite obvious to other people x

Tothemoonandbackx · 01/03/2022 14:27

I was on the other end of this. An ex boyfriends (now wife) added me on FB, I was young and she sent me a request as we'd met a couple of times due to shared friends and events. Didn't think anything of it, then out of the blue, he asked me to block her from my FB, I asked why, and he never replied.I went onto her page and saw she had been making up weird accusations and stories about me, saying things like..."when will this person leave her ex alone, I'm with him now, why does she still hold onto all the photos of them together, she's strange, she can't have my man, etc etc etc" then one saying something like "she must still be in love with him, she hasn't deleted the pictures, all these secret messages between them" we'd been split up for over a year, and I was just far to lazy to delete the very few pictures I had on at the time, think....when you had tobupload photos from your computer old, and only 30 at a time, lol. She was really nutty though anyway, and didn't paint her in a good light to others after they saw what she'd put.

CatDogMonkeyPOW · 01/03/2022 14:32

A couple of years ago I decided to have a social media cleanse and went through all my old Facebook posts and deleted them. It took me several hours over a few days to get through it all.

I doubt it's even occurred to him to go through them, especially if he updates his profile often and there's scores of photos left in cover / profile album.

I think this is more about you than him. Why are you so insecure that an old photo that isn't even immediately visible bothers you?

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread