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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Door cam and lodger

37 replies

ENorthLincs · 01/03/2022 01:28

I’ve got a lodger and he’s fine generally.

However we’ve got a situation recently whereby he’s being annoying.

I got a door cam for security of my car and that’s about all.

I didn’t realise how intrusive they actually are. Records of when the other person comes home, and ability to check on visitors.

When it was installed I gave him access and he said “have a good day” on the door cam whilst I was leaving for work. Yeah kinda funny but also a bit intrusive.

Guy came to pick up an Marketplace item and was early…. So he rang the doorbell. Lodger must have answered it before me as I thought I was talking to the guy and said I would be home in five. I then get calls from my lodger (which I ignored) and he messaged me saying the guy had travelled 30 miles etc and was annoyed etc. The lodger was away on a stag do and I assume wasn’t expecting a parcel etc.

He’s also into his technology and I know he looks at the camera as he mentions the images (such as me in a dressing gown going to the car or his bald patch).

Amazon have always had no issues with parcels - im often home etc.

Would I be unreasonable to revoke access and also not allow him access to the cctv around the front/garden? I don’t intend to download the app to watch the house cctv because I really don’t care what happens when I’m not at home.

He also kinda demanded he be allowed to try and fix it. It wasn’t working so the guy came to replace the unit and I used a new account to sign up. I told lodger it wasn’t working and he demanded he have a go. I literally said no three times.

OP posts:
Original poster
ENorthLincs · 01/03/2022 01:30

Also worth noting last time it was broken he took the unit apart…. Which I wouldn’t have agreed to had I known he was going to do that.

Any ideas how to manage the situation? I actually don’t care for the unit and happy to remove as soon as possible. He’s a good lodger otherwise…. But I know the house cctv will cause issues.

OP posts:
Marvellousmadness · 01/03/2022 02:04

Something about this creeps me out

TaysideTeuchter · 01/03/2022 02:16

I''m concerned by your lodger. YANBU - it sounds like he's using the system to spy on you. I'd definitely revoke access and possibly get a new lodger, preferably one who understands boundaries and the word 'no.'

If the camera's only for your car, why don't you get a dashcam with 'Parking Mode' instead of a door cam? www.halfords.com/technology/buying-guides/dash-cam-buying-guide.html

Totalwasteofpaper · 01/03/2022 03:40

Jesus I wouldn't have given him access in the first place.

He has really overstepped.
You play a part in this though as you have given him "permission" to overstep.
Getting back to a good place is tricky when this happens.
I'd honestly give notice and relet the room.

Get clearer on boundaries on your side before you do and consider a female lodger.

Wicker73 · 01/03/2022 03:51

His attitude as you’ve described it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Revoke his access at a minimum.

And re-read Totalwasteofpaper they are spot on!

HappyDays40 · 01/03/2022 04:00

He is over stepping the mark by a mile but you did give him access so need to either.leave it be or say something

MrsGatsby99 · 01/03/2022 04:04

This would creep me out a bit too and sounds like an overstep. He also sounds pretty annoying and overbearing.
BUT, how long have you known him? If he is good in other ways, is he just a massive (annoying) geek? 😁🙄 if this is the case, you could just take away access to the cameras but this could be awkward. If he is awkward about it, yes, I would consider giving him notice and reletting his room. You can’t live feeling uncomfortable in your own home.

Monty27 · 01/03/2022 04:04

Just.turn.it.off
How dare he do that at your front door. 😡

Zapx · 01/03/2022 04:26

I'd be wary of him having a claim against you invading his privacy if you revoked access though... There was a court case recently about someone with something like that, and they got done for thousands and it was their neighbour. Could you just remove it altogether?

Dancingsmile · 01/03/2022 05:39

I would hate to be a lodger where the landlord can watch me.
You have cameras in the back garden, too. He can't even hang washing out without being potentially watched.
He commented on you but also on himself. You don't like it but have the ability to spy on him.
It all sounds creepy and more so you, as at least he is open about seeing you.

LadyPropane · 01/03/2022 05:46

I'd either get rid of the cameras or get rid of the lodger.

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 01/03/2022 06:04

@Dancingsmile

I would hate to be a lodger where the landlord can watch me. You have cameras in the back garden, too. He can't even hang washing out without being potentially watched. He commented on you but also on himself. You don't like it but have the ability to spy on him. It all sounds creepy and more so you, as at least he is open about seeing you.
This. You share a house, you chose to give him access to the camera, I fail to see what the issue is. Just get rid of the camera.
Monty27 · 01/03/2022 06:07

I didn't realise you had installed the camera OP. In that case you're invading the lodger's privacy too.

ineedsun · 01/03/2022 06:09

So you’re allowed to watch him on the camera but not vice versa?

Neenawneenaw76 · 01/03/2022 06:11

You're the one who installed the camera and gave him access and you're now upset he uses it? Just get rid of it, not sure what your issue is Tbh 🙄

ShirleyPhallus · 01/03/2022 06:13

Why is everyone saying he’s creepy when it’s the landlord who has installed cameras and now wants to revoke access?

Imagine it the other way around:

“AIBU to think my landlord should give me access to home cctv? My landlord has installed intrusive cameras. He let me have access and there have been a few incidents - someone rang the door for my LL, I called him and he ignored my call then was annoyed with me for letting me know? He now wants to revoke me having access at all but can see me in the front and back gardens. What should I do?”

Answer would be to run like the hills!

twominutesmore · 01/03/2022 06:23

Well I realise I'm in a minority but can't see what he's done wrong.

When you first got it, he said goodbye through it as you left for work, as a joke.

He answered the doorbell when it rang - literally what it is designed for.

He sometimes looks at the footage from the camera. The camera recording motion outside his home.

He thought he could fix it when it wasn't working properly.

I mean, couldn't he be on here complaining that his landlord has a camera and now knows when he comes and goes from the house? I don't suppose he had any say in whether he wanted this.

If you didn't want him answering the doorbell or checking the security footage why give him access. Revoke it, as is your right of course, but really don't think he's done anything wrong.

Darbs76 · 01/03/2022 06:46

I can’t see what he’s done wrong here or why he’s creepy. OP put the camera up and gave the lodger access so he can answer the door presumably, as he lives there too. You soon get bored of watching the videos! OP can delete them if she wants too, but I wouldn’t be bothered by someone seeing videos of me coming and going, and you can see him just as much as he can see you

londonrach · 01/03/2022 06:55

Slightly worried if I was the lodger and landlord had cameras watching my ever move. I'd give notice and leave. There was a case in court recently re the ring doorbell and privacy. Yabu. Why do you want to watch your lodger?

girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 06:59

Why are people saying she's spying on the lodger? She's not. She's got cameras for security.

However, OP, he's done nothing wrong. He's using the app for its intended purpose.

Pumpkin5piced · 01/03/2022 07:01

I also can’t see what he’s done wrong. Especially the parcel thing. He probably gets notifications and naturally checks then.

Simonjt · 01/03/2022 07:04

Whats creepy about answering the doorbell? Thats literally the intended purpose.

PhileasPhilby · 01/03/2022 07:08

I’m also not seeing what’s so creepy about his behaviour here.

He spoke to you over it when it was new & novel (because a notification would have come up for him, not because he was watching it for hours just in case you went out), and answered the doorbell when it rang (again because he would have had a notification. And when it didn’t work he tried to fix it.

None of that is weird behaviour.

groeggmeg · 01/03/2022 07:18

Christ people are dramatic, lodger uses ring doorbell for its intended purpose and he’s a creep that gives people the heebie jeebies. There’s has to be some big drip feed backstory to this as part from talking through the doorbell once (which I would not find alarming at all considering the man lives in my house) he’s done nothing wrong. YABU

Summerfun54321 · 01/03/2022 07:32

You’re disturbed by his use of a surveillance system that you’ve installed that records him. Now you want to revoke access so he has no idea what you’ve recorded of him? And he’s the creepy one? Just get rid of it.

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