To tell work my boss is a bully when I leave

[Topofthep0ps]

My boss is a bully. But he's considered a character by some at work because he has 'banter,' (often poorly judged and insensitive, often misogynistic) and he puts on fake, sickly charm to senior staff above. He also happens to be a well known public spokesperson, the public face of the organisation.

Two previous leavers from my team have raised serious concerns about him in the past two years with senior management. Both were brushed off as problem employees.
I'm leaving my job next week, should I say anything? It really bothers me that he treats people the way he does.

Nope. You never know when you might need a job with them again.

The time to do it is when you have actual evidence, documented with witnesses. Otherwise you will just be another problem employee.

Do you think it would get in the way of you getting a good reference from them? If so does it matter? Could you do it anonymously?

Do you already had a new job confirmed?

If so, I'd definitely raise it. Presumably you'll have an exit interview? That would be the perfect time to do it. But with as much evidence as you can muster, so it's not just seen as hearsay or gossip.

I would be honest in my exit interview but it probably will have no effect🤷‍♀️

Personally, I wouldn't, if only on the basis that whatever you say, he is unlikely to change, and as well as this, you might one day need a reference from him.
There's also the fact that he could lie about you to a future employer.

I would. Why let him get away with his behaviour.

I personally never burn my bridges.

Yes, I have a new job lined up. He's also openly sour that my new job is better, and better paid than his. He's been making my notice period a misery.

I get on really well with a lot of managers and senior staff at the company, so getting a reference won't be an issue.

As someone who's been there, said it, and doesn't regret it: they won't listen. It won't change anything. If it was going to change anything, it already would have.

Your choices are to keep quiet and avoid any risk of burning bridges, in the sure knowledge that nothing you say will make a difference; or speak up, knowing it won't make a difference, just to know you spoke your mind. I chose the latter, but I knew I would never go back there for a job. The bullying manager has cut a swathe of dysfunction and forced out several more people since I said my bit.

There are also anonymous Glassdoor reviews once you've left. I'm just saying.

Yeah part of me thinks nothing is going to change, nobody will care, so why bother.

I'm probably going to decline my exit interview on the basis it will be a waste of time though.

I wouldnt use the word itself though.
Say eg, that he didnt miss an opportunity to challenge you and it was time consuming and took up your energies. Or for example say he gave everything you did a negative interpretation. Say that he made you defend and explain your decisions/self to him.

amp.theguardian.com/society/2018/jul/17/top-cancer-genetics-professor-quits-job-over-bullying-allegations

My old friend worked with this woman. She was only brought down by people speaking out and they eventually had to listen.

The stories were utterly vile.

Shout it loudly and don’t be silenced.

@FennecShandDoesEverything

As someone who's been there, said it, and doesn't regret it: they won't listen. It won't change anything. If it was going to change anything, it already would have.

Your choices are to keep quiet and avoid any risk of burning bridges, in the sure knowledge that nothing you say will make a difference; or speak up, knowing it won't make a difference, just to know you spoke your mind. I chose the latter, but I knew I would never go back there for a job. The bullying manager has cut a swathe of dysfunction and forced out several more people since I said my bit.

There are also anonymous Glassdoor reviews once you've left. I'm just saying.

Oh I'm going to hit Glassdoor hard!

You can always write an anonymous review on indeed or another site, I do t think you can name names but giving potential employees a heads up is good.

I would say something. In all likelihood he will do it to someone else (or has already done it to someone else). And why should he get away with it? I was bullied by my ‘boss’ (I use that term loosely) in an old team. I’ve since left that team but it took me ages to get over it. Some people’s characters lend to them being bullies - especially if they get away with it.

If you are in a position to do so please do. It could help someone else, it will also add ammunition if anyone is considering taking the action. Often it takes several similar complaints before anything can be done.

Speak out as professionally and objectively as possible in order to avoid any reputational damage.

I did it; at the point of handing in my notice and again at my exit interview of my last job. I couldn't not tell him that his behaviour had directly impacted my career and my mental health. He was dumbfounded. Completely oblivious to his ways. Tried to reach out numerous times after I left but it was too little too late. I like to think my speaking out might have helped someone else. Might even have helped him. But really, it was mostly just cathartic!

Some of these bullies like to declare war on those who stand up to them . Maybe the anonymous public review site is safer and more helpful to existing and future employees?

Nope.

Never burn your bridges.

If we all stand up, telling the truth can’t be burning your bridges- the truth will out- we owe it to ourselves and to the next generation

Bullies should always be called out.
If they are allowed to continue nothing changes.

@Pantsomime

If we all stand up, telling the truth can’t be burning your bridges- the truth will out- we owe it to ourselves and to the next generation

Yes, if the evidence is there and has been documented.

Otherwise she will just be another problem employee they were glad left.

It's obvious that's the way they handle things, they know he is a bully but are not going to do anything about it, that's for sure. And they won't have to as she is leaving.

I would. I did at my last job, and things did change after I left. Not just because of my feedback, but it contributed. And we've recently said goodbye to a bullying manager here - complaints against him counted, too. Bullies often get away with it for years because people just leave without ever saying anything- which might be best for their mental health. But if HR never gets any feedback, they won't know and can't do anything.

Dh wanted to do this once ...he wrote the letter then we burnt it. He didn't mention it when he left as it's not worth it as nothing ever gets changed just writing that original letter helped even if no one read it. Hope you get a better job soon op x

Will you have an exit interview with hr? If you do, then this might be a good opportunity to air your issues. But as others have said, it's a small world so don't burn too many bridges