To tell work my boss is a bully when I leave

[Topofthep0ps]

My boss is a bully. But he's considered a character by some at work because he has 'banter,' (often poorly judged and insensitive, often misogynistic) and he puts on fake, sickly charm to senior staff above. He also happens to be a well known public spokesperson, the public face of the organisation.

Two previous leavers from my team have raised serious concerns about him in the past two years with senior management. Both were brushed off as problem employees.
I'm leaving my job next week, should I say anything? It really bothers me that he treats people the way he does.

I did!! Refused to have exit interview with manager who was a bully. However had a written exit interview where I was very clear why I was leaving. The whole team he managed left in the space of 5 months, we had all taken him to mediation but the organisation did nothing. My replacement lasted 6 weeks. I felt I had nothing to lose and I would never work for them again. I went on to a better job and that gives me great satisfaction!

Very surprised by a lot of the answers. Yes you absolutely should say something, it’s your opportunity to help bring about change for the better.
I also wouldn’t decline my exit interview.

I would request an exit interview with HR and explain why you decided to leave. I would stick to giving clear examples of when his behaviour was out of order rather than just attacking him as a person.

Those who are telling you not to 'burn your bridges': that's illogical, nobody is going to want to move back to a company where bullies run free and where they had a bad experience...

In fact you also need to think about agreeing your reference in advance with HR at the same time as you mention your concerns about your manager. Because if you let that up to him and don't have on record that he is bully, he has free rein to stab you in the back in the future...

I did that with a bullying boss (she as the CEO of a small charity). She made things up (literally invented meetings we did not have and things I had reportedly said during these meetings. I reported her for bullying to the board of trustees when I resigned from the organisation. I also asked that a reference for me be held on file and its content agreed with me and the Trustees in advance, to prevent her from doing any damage after I had left. Never caused me any problem and used them as a reference on two occasions.

Eventually bullies get fired as it cost a lot of money for businesses to keep having to advertise for then train new staff. There was a really nasty new director in another organisation I worked for. Several staff members made complaints against her and left. Management initially did nothing (as CEO would not admit he had hired a rotten apple) but a year later she was fired...

It is hard to dismiss everyone as a 'problem employee' if there is clear pattern of people reporting the same issues over and over again.

I wouldn’t bother. It won’t be to your benefit, and you never know who you come across later down the line in life.

I think if you are going on to bigger and better things I'd bide my time. How likely are you to bump into/work together in the future?

I think it's quite sad that people are saying don't burn bridges etc. It's such a short sighted, selfish view.

An exit interview should be an opportunity to highlight things. That doesn't mean you go in like an avenging berserker, but raising specific concerns about the business/team etc is perfectly reasonable. Saying that he regularly says things like, "x, y, z" which makes you/others uncomfortable etc is perfectly valid. Examples of how this impacts people/clients/service etc are all fair.

I worked somewhere where a bully got away with it for years. But every time someone left, they flagged his behaviour. When I came along and told them I needed to leave because of him, I'm pretty sure all those previous flags helped them to agree very quickly that a) I should leave and b) they should give me a generous pay out.

@AlisonDonut

Nope. You never know when you might need a job with them again.

The time to do it is when you have actual evidence, documented with witnesses. Otherwise you will just be another problem employee.

Why on earth would she want to work there again? Oh yeah please, give me a job with a known bully, that can only go well..

Jesus can't believe how many would be daft and not say something just to avoid burning bridges. I'd rather work in the sewers than go back to working at my old company that employs bullying bastards who don't give a shit about actually progressing people and helping them. I set that bridge on fire when I left and threw petrol on it to be sure. No way would I ever go back.

It probably didn't make much difference on what I said, the bullying probably still continues, but I do know that said bully hasn't had his expected promotion yet and it's been a good few years now. Think unless the person I spoke to leaves, he's not getting it. So I won you miserable fucker. And I get paid more, ha!

@Topofthep0ps

Yeah part of me thinks nothing is going to change, nobody will care, so why bother.

I'm probably going to decline my exit interview on the basis it will be a waste of time though.

This is the best thing to do imo from my own experience

Do you know your exit interview will be a waste of time?
I'd be tempted to go, and not hold back. Be totally honest about him, with examples of behaviour. Speak professionally and non-emotively, obviously, but be clear about how he behaves and what he says.

About 20 years ago when I handed in my notice I was asked why and told them straight up that I couldn't work with xxx any more because of the way she treated people. Not only was she a bully but also an alcoholic which really added to her delightful ways. She would come in most mornings either drunk or hungover. They acted shocked, I left but about 3 months later she was in some treatment clinic at their insistence.

I would tell HR. You're never going back there.

You don't have anything to lose and could make things better for someone else. Just calmly stick to the facts and have specific examples so it can't be brushed off as 'not seeing eye to eye'. If nobody cares then at least you know you did the right thing, you're not responsible for what happens after that.