Could the school nurse help? Who to speak to?

[UndertheCedartree]

I am so upset. My 9yo DD has post-Covid syndrome. The doctor said she still has inflammation in her stomach. She is often suffering with stomach ache and nausea, as well as tiredness and muscle aches. She has had quite a lot of time off school due to this, which upsets her as she likes school.

So, this morning she was in pain but wanted to give school a try. By the time we arrived she was crying. One of the pastoral care teachers came up and I explained. She asked DD if she would like her to take her in and see how she went and if necessary they would phone me. I agreed that with DD. About 11.30 the office phoned me to say her stomach was hurting her. The lady asked whether she should suggest she tried to stay another 30 min. I said please can you ask my DD if she wants to try another 30 min or if she wants me to come and get her now. She phoned the class and then told the member of office staff told me she would try for another 30 min. After 30 min I rang back and was told she had been crying but had now perked up a bit.

When my DD came home she was really upset and clinging to me. Apparently her class teacher had her ready to come home but the message given to her that she passed onto DD was that 'Mum said you need to try to stay at school a bit longer'. Obviously, that went against what we had agreed and DD was completely bewildered and started crying. She was still in a lot of pain but didn't say anything else as she didn't think there was any point. So she stopped crying and the teacher thought she had 'perked up'.

Not only was thinking s bad enough but due to circumstances my DD is very sensitive to being 'abandoned'. This was why she appeared to 'perk up' as she just pushed it all down to cope emotionally.

What is worse is a comment was made by a TA insinuating that she was making it up, perhaps as a response to them thinking I refused to pick her up. But I find it so disheartening. DD loves school - she's not making this up!

Now, her teacher and pastoral care know all about the post-covid syndrome and all the background. Obviously, the receptionist does not and I think she got involved inappropriately. She should have followed mine and the teachers instructions. Also TA probably doesn't know so also shouldn't have got involved.

I'm now feeling really uncomfortable about letting her back to school and she's feeling if she is in a lot of pain noone will believe her/I won't pick her up. So now she is less likely to want to try if she is in pain in the morning.

When I emailed the school about the situation I did ask if the school nurse could help. I'd like a proper plan of how to deal with this. For example is there somewhere she can lie down quietly if her stomach is hurting or she is feeling sick. I didn't get any response to this.

So what would be best? Try and contact the school nurse myself? Speak to someone at school? Sorry this is so long and thank you for reading!

I’d speak to the head or the senco. Our school nurse is so thinly stretched, she probably wouldn’t be able to help. She is in charge of about 40 schools-she sees us for a morning once a term.

If she’s having a lot of time off, maybe she needs something in place to be able to work from home so she doesn’t fall very far behind. I would imagine that’s what her teachers are concerned about.
Maybe focus on that instead of nitpicking at teachers who are doing their best.

If you had agreed to come and pick her up when she was ill, why did you ask them to ask her if she could do another 30 minutes?
This just creates unnecessary workload, time and people-power than them ringing you and you collecting her.

If all sounds like a breakdown in communication. Just send a clear email saying what you would like to happen if your child is poorly enough to end to come home and then stick to it yourself.

@AprilShowers82

If she’s having a lot of time off, maybe she needs something in place to be able to work from home so she doesn’t fall very far behind. I would imagine that’s what her teachers are concerned about. Maybe focus on that instead of nitpicking at teachers who are doing their best.

I've not nitpicked at the teachers atall! It was the receptionist and TA I complained about. There is online work we do if she is well enough too. But yes, I would appreciate any further help there too.

@Howshouldibehave

I’d speak to the head or the senco. Our school nurse is so thinly stretched, she probably wouldn’t be able to help. She is in charge of about 40 schools-she sees us for a morning once a term.

Oh wow 40! I didn't realise it was that bad! Thank you for the advice.

@Tiredforfive45

If you had agreed to come and pick her up when she was ill, why did you ask them to ask her if she could do another 30 minutes? This just creates unnecessary workload, time and people-power than them ringing you and you collecting her.

If all sounds like a breakdown in communication. Just send a clear email saying what you would like to happen if your child is poorly enough to end to come home and then stick to it yourself.

I didn't ask them, the receptionist said shall I tell the teacher that. I said ask my DD. And was under the impression they had. If she could have stayed longer that would have been positive. It didn't cause anymore workload - the receptionist needed to phone the class to send her down if she was coming home anyway!

It all sounds like miscommunication. Maybe you could pre-agree with school a set course of action if her tummy hurts?

However be aware that lots of children love school but do still prefer to be at home with mum or dad.

What happens when she is home? Does she got to bed poorly? Veg out with tv on?

It did cause additional workload since they had to then ask your child, then relay that information to the receptionist who then had to relay it to you!

If they were ringing because she was crying and felt unwell, why would staying an extra 30 minutes be positive?

Id be going back to the GP to discuss a treatment plan/managing symptoms. Perhaps she needs an adjusted day in the short term like mornings only or doing school work from home if she wakes up in pain.

That's as may be but she has been examined by a doctor and diagnosed with this condition. I've had Long Covid so I know how awful it is.

I really would like a plan and I did request this before half term.

Usually when home she sleeps a lot. She had dinner tonight and then straight to bed. If she is home in the morning but then feeling better I take her into school or if too late we do some of the online work. She has also missed lots of Brownies and Gymnastics.

@UndertheCedartree

Teacher here - request to see the SENCo as your DD needs a healthcare plan (different from an EHCP before anyone thinks that’s what I mean) whereby it is shared with every member of staff and has a list of symptoms and a clear action plan of what to do.
We have them in the staff room for children with allergies, epilepsy, tube fed children etc so we make sure we are all on the same page, dealing consistently with their care.

This isn't really something the school nursing team would be able to support with, not in our area. They could do an initial health assessment, give some recommendations and signpost (there are specialist long Covid hubs for children but possibly from age 12?). The school should be supporting really, they can do a healthcare plan and consider part time school etc.

Daft idea but can you agree 2 code words that morning and one of them is to be relayed to you and you know what it means?

It sounds like crossed wires - not really anyone’s fault. Try not to make DD more anxious by keeping her off school because you’re afraid of another miscommunication. It was unpleasant but I’m sure you reassured her that you wouldn’t abandon her. Keep calm and act normal.

Ask to speak to the form teacher as a starting point, asking to work with the school about how to manage DD’s condition. If you get no response, contact the head of year. The form teacher will need to involve others e.g. SENCO and pastoral so don’t expect a plan overnight. They must be aware of the issues with attendance (not her fault obv) so it shouldn’t be a surprise to them. As part of that plan, ask that support staff and relevant admin are informed of what to do. A consistent approach with all parties on side will make your DD feel secure and supported.

[quote MrsMo21]@UndertheCedartree

Teacher here - request to see the SENCo as your DD needs a healthcare plan (different from an EHCP before anyone thinks that’s what I mean) whereby it is shared with every member of staff and has a list of symptoms and a clear action plan of what to do.
We have them in the staff room for children with allergies, epilepsy, tube fed children etc so we make sure we are all on the same page, dealing consistently with their care.[/quote]
Ah, brilliant, thank you so much!

i knew a school nurse.
she covered the whole borough, nearly 100 schools, and just visited them once a year to do vaccinations.
so i don't think that person would be relevant here.

@ArnoldBee

Daft idea but can you agree 2 code words that morning and one of them is to be relayed to you and you know what it means?

Thank you, that's a nice idea.

It does sound like a miscommunication rather than a deliberate ploy to upset your dd. You did ask her to try and stay for half an hour so the TAs message wasn't totally wrong.

@Tiredforfive45

It did cause additional workload since they had to then ask your child, then relay that information to the receptionist who then had to relay it to you!

If they were ringing because she was crying and felt unwell, why would staying an extra 30 minutes be positive?

So I was on hold while receptionist phoned class (would have had to anyway), teacher would have had to speak to DD anyway, ok she then had to press a button to take me off hold and talk to me. Nothing was relayed from DD as the receptionist did not pass the correct message on! But yes ok it would have taken a minute or so to talk to DD. She was not crying at that point. It would have been positive because she has missed so much school. I was under the impression the teacher was suggesting she may be able to manage longer, perhaps sitting somewhere quietly. I don't know - it was all a split second thing for me. I'm autistic and don't find these conversations the easiest. But I understand that I muddied the water by agreeing to the 30 min thing.

@Gazorpazorp

It sounds like crossed wires - not really anyone’s fault. Try not to make DD more anxious by keeping her off school because you’re afraid of another miscommunication. It was unpleasant but I’m sure you reassured her that you wouldn’t abandon her. Keep calm and act normal.

Ask to speak to the form teacher as a starting point, asking to work with the school about how to manage DD’s condition. If you get no response, contact the head of year. The form teacher will need to involve others e.g. SENCO and pastoral so don’t expect a plan overnight. They must be aware of the issues with attendance (not her fault obv) so it shouldn’t be a surprise to them. As part of that plan, ask that support staff and relevant admin are informed of what to do. A consistent approach with all parties on side will make your DD feel secure and supported.

Yes, it was definitely crossed wires. I'm not really blaming anyone, I'm sure the receptionist thought she was doing me a favour but I felt it was inappropriate for her to go against my decision as she is obviously not privy to all the information. DD doesn't complain until it is bad. I knew if she said she needed to come home, then she needed to come home. By the receptionist suggesting the 30 min - it confused me!Yes, pastoral care and her class teacher are fully informed - her class teacher is HOY.

If DD is missing a lot of school the LA have a statutory duty to provide alternative provision. This should begin once it becomes clear DD will miss 15 days, for ongoing conditions the 15 days don’t have to be consecutive, they can be cumulative.

I think the school office were wrong to suggest your DD tried another 30 minutes in school and that's probably what led to the confusion with the nurse. I hope your DD is feeling reassured now that she's home.

In your position I would have probably gone straight away to pick her up.

My DS (17yo) also has Long Covid and the clinic were very keen for him to reduce his hours in school to help with the fatigue. He's currently doing about 60% of the hours he should be there and all his subject teachers, form tutor and HOY (on top of the school nurse) are aware of his health issues.

Has your DD been referred to a Long Covid clinic? If not it might be worth getting her a referral or alternatively to a dietitian. We've had lots of useful advice from ours.

@Hankunamatata

Id be going back to the GP to discuss a treatment plan/managing symptoms. Perhaps she needs an adjusted day in the short term like mornings only or doing school work from home if she wakes up in pain.

Thank you. The doctor wasn't particularly helpful. Just told me her stomach was still inflamed and that it could last for up to 12 weeks...but if it continued longer it would then be Long Covid. I have been getting her a lot of the gut health yogurts and drinks and she has been skipping PE. But I think now it is continuing we need a better plan.

@alexdgr8

i knew a school nurse. she covered the whole borough, nearly 100 schools, and just visited them once a year to do vaccinations. so i don't think that person would be relevant here.

100! Wow!

@Hercisback

It does sound like a miscommunication rather than a deliberate ploy to upset your dd. You did ask her to try and stay for half an hour so the TAs message wasn't totally wrong.

I didn't ask her to try another 30 min, I asked if she wanted to try another 30 min or if she wanted me to pick her up immediately. I'm sure noone one wanted to upset her intentionally, but the members of staff involved should realise they don't know all the details about a child so should follow the instructions of those that do.