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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you End it if you found partner on a dating app?

64 replies

Lolabray · 28/02/2022 18:11

This is a quick yes no question ..if your partner had been on the app how would you respond? I’d be interested in the results ..

OP posts:
Lucyccfc68 · 28/02/2022 18:47

I would.

I have just had to send a screen shot of a friends boyfriend who is on a dating app. It a new profile and guess what? He has wriggled out of it by claiming someone set it up and stole his pictures from social media.

Whilst feeling sorry for her and how incredibly gullible she is, we did have a good laugh at the thought of someone using his photo’s. He is seriously 🤮

nancybotwinbloom · 28/02/2022 18:58

Yes.

And I'd catfish him if I saw him in a dating ap.

AnyFucker · 28/02/2022 18:59

Of course

Jubaju · 28/02/2022 19:02

Nah, he wouldn’t even survive the night 😂

Original poster
Lolabray · 28/02/2022 19:06

@clpsmum

& didn't first time around, or the second time but third time and a decade later I did. Wish idve done it first time around

Feel your pain. Been through this before and stayed around too long, once bitten twice shy xx

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 28/02/2022 19:08

It'd be finished instantly.

ForeverSingle881 · 28/02/2022 19:08

I met DP on Tinder. About 12 months into our relationship, he approached me to say he's really upset I was still on Tinder as he saw the app on my phone when I had given it to him for something. I hadn't opened the app in almost 12 months. I got caught up in dating DP and I genuinely didn't give that app a second thought. It was probably still showing me as active and I was mortified, I deleted it immediately. So maybe ask what is happening before dumping him.

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/02/2022 19:10

Yes in addition if you delete the app off your phone it can still show you on there as you actually need to delete the profile too.

Merryoldgoat · 28/02/2022 19:10

I’ve been with DH 17 years, married 11.

He’d be gone faster than the speed of light.

bettertocryinamercedes · 28/02/2022 19:15

He's be a goner

My friends partner did this. Even messaged a friend of hers which is how she found out. He didn't know the two were pals

She has had not one but TWO children with this prick since finding out. He won't marry her and barely spends any time with her

He's a dick and she, well, I don't know what to say about her...!

TonkinLenkicks · 28/02/2022 19:15

Not necessarily. My friends picture was token and someone was using her details. She was mortified. Depends on your circumstances, if you deffo know it's him and not a mistake i mean

hangrylady · 28/02/2022 19:39

Yes I would.

Sexnotgender · 28/02/2022 19:42

I met my husband online. We both deleted our apps when we were a “thing”.

If I found him on dating apps I’d be devastated and would end it.

nadgersbadgers · 28/02/2022 19:43

Yep. Immediately

Original poster
Lolabray · 28/02/2022 20:01

Sexnotgender

I met my husband online. We both deleted our apps when we were a “thing”.

If I found him on dating apps I’d be devastated and would end it.

Yep. Same here. It shook me

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 28/02/2022 20:03

Yes.

cuno · 28/02/2022 20:11

This has happened to me before years ago. I was without a phone for a bit and my ex lent me his for a few minutes as I needed to use an app for something. I couldn't find the app and I was opening folders to find it (it turned out I just didn't recognise the icon as he had an iPhone and I only ever used Android). Well I must have opened his secret dating app folder and there was bloody tinder! I was like wtf and opened it straight away and I just saw a long list of messages under matches, he'd been telling women how hot they looked. I felt sick and he knew what I saw by the look on my face, and he said he only got the app out of nosiness and not like he'd do anything, oh yeah fucking right. Got rid of him right away.

VladmirsPoutine · 28/02/2022 20:14

Yes without a doubt. Being the person that I am now I'd try and eke it out a bit and sort of play mind games with him in the first instance but yes the relationship would be over with no going back. Because of course he'd do a big a song and dance over deleting it and being sorry yada yada yada.

Aubrrgin · 28/02/2022 20:17

Even if I wanted to stay with him, I couldn’t.

I don’t have the self-esteem to look at a man after than and believe that he 100% wants to be with me and only me. I’d never be a me too relax. Every time I saw him looking at his phone, I’d assume he was looking at other women on a dating app.

Screw that. Life’s too short.

Onlyforcake · 28/02/2022 20:23

I had an ex using dating site. That was a very quick decision from me. I used the print outs I'd been given and left a note with them on the front door. It worked better than expected as his aunt dropped by to visit before he got home from work. Grin he looked up to that aunt a lot and she had a very low opinion of cheating arseholes

SurfWaves · 28/02/2022 20:28

I saw my friends husband on a dating app a few years ago. He had also been messaging another friend of mine- definitely only done with bad intentions.

Dsisproblem · 28/02/2022 20:37

Yes I'd kick him out

Pizzadreams · 28/02/2022 20:40

Yes of course, it’s a whole new low of cheating, it’s not I met someone by accident or I drunkenly got with someone, it’s I’m actively looking for another relationship.

TimeToMakeACupofTea · 28/02/2022 20:42

It’d be over. The only way it wouldn’t be is if the account was opened before we were together and he’d not closed it down but wasn’t actively using it. Even then I’d wonder why it was just removed when we got together.

lljkk · 28/02/2022 20:49

Friend met her bloke on the app, they both 'hid' their profiles.

She dumped her fella when he updated his profile pic.

That's it, didn't unhide his pic, he literally updated the picture is all. I thought it was harsh but DH said perfectly reasonable.