Angry at M&S and their 'girls are here to spread positivity' clothing

[TheBlueOwl]

Looking for some sweatshirts for my 10 year old daughter on the M&S website. It was hard to find anything without a nauseating ‘positive/kindness' message/slogan. Had a look at the boys stuff and it seems they don’t have the burden of spreading positivity to the world via their clothing? What is this all about? It feels wrong or AIBU? Surely we’ve moved on from girls having to be sweetness and light? Do I need to learn applique and start some counter messaging? Get Fucked? Too strong? Any ideas?

Here are my findings:

Girls Tops:
Positive state of mind
Life is full of surprises
Always positive energy
Spread kindness
Amazing things will always happen
Super Love
Let the Sunshine In
Happiness Rocks
Better Together

Boys Tops:
Dead Cool
Gamer at Work
Just Roll With It
Turtley Amazing
Powered by Dino Might
Strong Together
Gamer
Goal

YA define NBU OP

If I had the luxury of time (something we all dream if I know ! ) I would be teaching myself to cut and sew kids clothes in practical cuts (roomy, decent pockets etc) and a range of nice colours for girls or boys to wear.

How is this extremes of ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ clothes even become a thing?? Well we know why it’s because society is gullible and foolish enough to fall for manufacturers ploys of making ‘girls’ things and ‘boys’ things, still annoying that is exists in what is supposed to be ‘enlightened’ times !

There is a thread like this every week, with a different retailer.

I agree that it is very frustrating, but I think it is down to the buyers not the retailers. They will provide what sells.

I hate slogan clothes. DS won't wear them and calls them cringewear.

I have 1 granddaughter who loves glitter and unicorns the other only plain no writing at all so no brand names or pictures

I used to wear my brothers clothes in the 60s & 70s when we were growing up, because I preferred jeans & plain t shirts/sweaters to frilly dresses & flowery patterns on fabrics. It's a shame things haven't moved forward in the last 50 odd years!

Also, a 15 year old boy I know wants to attend school dressed as a male Beauxbatons student for World Book Day. We spent a fun evening researching the fabric and designs needed to make this costume. He will look ace in pale blue satin effect attire.

M+S tried this and everyone wet their pants over it because it was forcing boys to wear dresses, or something

sounds about right

I think you aibu is the wrong way round! I'm more upset that boys clothes say gamer at work etc. Boys should be encouraged to spread positivity and enjoy the outside / friends etc.

Girls as cheerleaders.
Boys as actors of their own life.

Sounds about right. If you're a sexist pig.

Let me tell you, though, as a mother of boys, what's the most horrific side to this: my younger SEN child associates, as a result of all that marketing brain conditioning, positivity and good feelings to "girliness", as in, not for him.
He's at an age where he still secretly enjoys wholesome "girly" kiddy cartoons on CBeebies, which focus on feelings and positive interpersonal relationships (something he really needs to work on, due to his SEN), yet he feels ashamed of this and keeps pretending he's more into the "action and big explosions" stuff (even though he's really grossed out by anything remotely gory).

Toxic masculinity in action. Anything good in life (cupcakes, flowers, love, you name it) is "girly" and should be spurned by "real men", in favour of good old manly values like physical dominance and... That's about it? ...Not damaging at all to boys psyche, eh?

@RishiRich

YANBU. I started a similar thread that got deleted (not sure why!). I'm sick of seeing this utter rubbish and having to explain to DD why I won't buy it.

Was it about sainsburys?

My DD likes these kinds of things. She's recently go rid of anything with a unicorn on it but she likes the positivity stuff

YANBU - it's the t-shirt equivalent of "smile love"

I stick to scandi clothing

@pinkprettyroses

I think you're making a big deal over nothing tbh.

You honestly don't see the problem here?

I'd but Putin a Hashtag ''Be Kind'' sweatshirt.

Edit :Buy

My two really didn't give a stuff what they were dressed in for the majority of their younger years, I tried to avoid slogan stuff out of my own preference but if the colour and style suited then I bought it. A particular favourite was a hoody with DETROIT randomly printed on it, which I bought for my 6 year old due to my own obsession with decent techno.

Now they're 13 and 10 and have disliked anything with wording on for a number of years, and they've certainly never been naked yet.

The style and prices of girls vs boys clothing annoys me a lot more. We often had to buy shorts/jeans from the boys section to avoid rips, frills, embroidery, and my youngest prefers boys t-shirts as they tend to be shapeless and not cropped.

Thankfully there's no law to say I can't buy from the 'boys' section.

I would very much like to purchase your "get fucked" t shirt line for my 6yo DD. I feel on balance it would be a better message for her even with the profanity
^^ this 🤣

Agree that it’s damaging to girls and boys. My DDs both love sparkles, and animals. But why oh why does everything have to be pink and ‘cutesy’ animals. One loves anything farm related: tractors, sheep, cows etc. one’s going through a reptile stage. Yet it seems those animals aren’t deemed suitable for girls. They’re all normally hidden in the ‘boys’ section. Why not mix it up/just have unisex. What’s wrong with a unisex camo wearing glittery lizard (disclaimer: I get that the market for that particular top may be quite small but you get my point I’m sure).

I have two boys and was delighted that last year Asda had some lovely clothes with "be kind" as well as "be brave" on them. My 4yo loved his "be kind" top and used to tell everyone it was because he was kind when he wore it. It made such a difference from the mildly aggressive, macho slogans they usually display.

From the other direction, I hate it too. I don’t want my son to wear camouflage and have to wear brown and grey and so on all the time. Everything has trucks or bloody tractors on it, and all the animals are bears, dogs, crocodiles and sharks. Why can’t my son like cats and rabbits? I hate it.

@propertealady Ooh thanks for the tip!