AIBU to confront naughty teenagers in the park

[BerthaBigBird]

I was at the park at the weekend and some teens were taking stuff out of the bin and chucking it at each other, in addition to annoyances such as littering, shouting and swearing, trying to damage play equipment (unsuccessfully). Generally making the area unpleasant for the parents and kids who were there.
A couple of parents confronted them about it (separately) and were met with verbal abuse - being called silly bitches and told to fuck off etc
We are in quite a middle class area so they weren’t particularly intimidating and I bet their parents would not take kindly to their behaviour, or their school. To be honest being from the north myself it’s weird to hear the foul language they were coming out with in a (for me) quite posh accent!
But I didn’t know what to do. Anything? Do I leave the park with my kids? Say something? Report it? Not that we have much police presence around here.

Parents, teachers, former teenagers: is there anything I could have said in this situation to make the teenagers behave themselves better?
YABU - mind your own business
YANBU - you should say something

I'm often telling teenagers off in the park when they're being antisocial around my kids and they generally listen. Maybe because I'm a teacher so I have the tone right? Any hint of aggression though and I would take my kids and leave just in case

As a society, I suppose we should be teaching these teens that their behaviour is unacceptable.
However, if other adults had already received abuse in return, I'm not sure you would get any different and if you have DC with you it's not really great for them.

Any time I've called out anti social behaviour in public, I've received a torrent of abuse and name calling with the foulest language. It does make me really think twice and assess my safety before saying anything.

Mind your own business. Interfering is how you get stabbed. Don’t think that teens won’t do it.

If they didn't seem to be the stabby sort then I'd tell them to fuck off and stop being twats.

It's the sort of thing PCSOs should deal with. Not sure how you summon one of those though? 101?

My teens have strict instructions to not behave like knob heads in the park and I'd fully support someone giving them a bollocking if they were being rude, annoying or intimidating.

You could always take a photo/video and contact your local community policeman.

Teens in my local park blew up a bin during lockdown. It shows they paid attention to online chemistry lessons at least 😆

Do you have a lii or cal Facebook group? That might be a good place to start. Id be horrified if it were my teen, as would a lot of parents. Id rather know than be oblivious.

Middle class? Do you think working class parents are impressed by swearing antisocial teens?

I've many times got verbal abuse from teens in parks. I just grab the camera and carry on asking them to be considerate, pick up after themselves etc.

The local community forum (very working class) does quite a lot of posting about incidents and you do see some parents on there apologising profusely.

If they didn't seem to be the stabby sort then I'd tell them to fuck off and stop being twats.

What do the stabby sort look like?

Absolutely pull them up on it.
The more we all do that the less anti social behaviour there will be.
However I also think parks are for teenagers too, as long as they aren't being dicks.

I'd take photos for the police, and then leave.

I'd take photos and videos, encourage others to do the same. Most councils will accept your evidence to secure a littering prosecution. Contact the police.

It depends. I’d maybe say something to 14/15 year olds if they were close by. And depending on the ‘tone’ of the situation. But if they were aggressive I wouldn’t push it.

By the way, the south isn’t all middle class softies you know. In my ‘middle class’ town there is still deprivation, kids involved in county lines, in CSE. It’s not all posh Hugo’s being silly billy’s in the park. Sometimes it will be best to just walk off and leave them to it. But if they are vandalising play equipment, I would definitely call the police.

I’d contact the council

@Onlyforcake

Middle class? Do you think working class parents are impressed by swearing antisocial teens? I've many times got verbal abuse from teens in parks. I just grab the camera and carry on asking them to be considerate, pick up after themselves etc. The local community forum (very working class) does quite a lot of posting about incidents and you do see some parents on there apologising profusely.

Apologies, you are totally right. I suppose it was my clumsy way of saying that I didn’t consider them the ‘stabby types’ but I didn’t phrase it well.

It’s not really anything to do with class. It’s just that’s children of affluent parents are more likely to be at expensive after school activities or in the Range Rover being driven home to play with their expensive tech in their comfortable homes. So less likely to be hanging out bored at the park.

Take a pic, provided the pic is taken in connection with a crime (littering, verbal abuse) and only shared with the police/council, not social media.

The police may choose to share with local schools.

I would not recommend confronting them in the slightest. I'm at a large secondary in Manchester, deal with atrocious behaviour daily and there is no way I'd approach a group outside of a school building; I can't guarantee they aren't carrying a knife in a school, let alone out in public.

Obviously they are unlikely to have a knife, but we have already removed 2 in school this year from Year 9 and 10 students. There is no sense in risking it.

Meh. If you heard an adult on their own confronting them why on earth did you leave them to it and not join them together? Bet they would have left if a few of you were telling you off.

I’d have said “Do you do that at home?” If they said yes, I’d reply with “Another reason to pity your parents then” and if they’d said “No” I’d say “Well why is it ok here?” But then I’m a teacher so telling teenagers off is par for the course.

Take a picture of them and what they are doing and post on your local Facebook page to shame them - the parents will take action if they care.

I would call 999 and state there are aggressive teenagers throwing things, trying to damage park/ council property, swearing and intimidating others and you're concerned for yours and childrens safety.

Next time, say you know who their parents are and will give them a call now

Any antisocial behaviour like that around these parts would be posted on the local Facebook page with a description of the teens concerned with something along the lines if 'parents, do you know what your children were doing today'? Thankfully incidents of that nature around here are relatively rare as we live in a village where you are likely to be known.

I'm not sure all middleclass kids go to private schools and get driven around in range rovers

A couple of parents confronted them about it (separately) and were met with verbal abuse

Confronting them separately is the mistake that was made. We have trouble with feral teenagers at work, it's not until they see that the security guards are working in pairs that they comply. A lone security guard gets laughed at.

Did the naughty teenagers make you so cross that you were shaking in anger?

For context, I'm in London, where u16s are issued oyster cards for free bus travel and reduced tube fares, which they're supposed to swipe on the reader. Occasionally if a child forgets their pass, the driving will use their discretion whether to let them on.

The other day I'm on the bus and 3 kids of about 12 or 13 get on, indicate to the driver they've forgotten their pass and sit down. The driver tells them he wants their passes, they all say they've forgotten them (all of them? Yeah right.) He then tells them the bus ain't moving till they're off, they stay where they are. I turned to them and gave them what for, told them some of us have homes to go to, and to do as they're told. They didn't respond but stayed put, so I told them again to leave the bus. Eventually once the driver called the police they left. My husband thought I was bonkers cos they could have stabbed me but I just saw 3 entitled little brats trying to show off how hard they were.

One man started crying after (bless him, I think he had a learning disability or mental health problem) cos he was scared of them but thankfully he calmed down and was reassured.